We all worry. We worry about our relationships, our money, our health, our jobs and our children. We worry about things we can control and we worry about the things we can’t.
If your worrying is excessive, forceful and frequent, then it’s out of control and taking over your life. There is simply no room for peace of mind and happiness.
What would your life look like if you took the energy you spend worrying and put it toward the life you crave?
Symptoms of excessive worry
Difficulty relaxing
Stress and tension
Tight and tired muscles
Unrealistic thoughts
Twitching
Shortness of breath
Easily startled
Headaches
Sweating
Sleep problems
Teeth grinding
You can break your pattern of excessive worry. Here are some ways how:
Let go of control.
It’s futile to try and gain control over your worry and anxiety; it will only increase. Instead, release it. Use the mantra, “Release. Relax.” Imagine sending it off on a passing cloud.
Acknowledge that you’re feeling worried and anxious. Denial only makes your feelings stronger. Observe your thoughts. Notice that you are not your thoughts. See yourself unattached. Put distance between your thoughts and yourself.
Know that this too shall pass.
Be mindful of the present.
Get out of your head and into your surroundings. Name three things in your environment. “The lamp, a chair, a window.” Now, silently describe what you observe. “I see the green lamp my mother gave me. That chair is where I like to sit and read. I feel such a nice breeze from that open window.”
In the present moment you are always safe. You can’t be present and worried.
List your worries in your phone or journal.
Write down what you worry about. Write down where you are, who you’re with and what you’re doing when you worry. Write down what triggers your worrying.
When you know what triggers your worrying you can avoid it.
Problem solve.
Is there a solution to the problem you’re worrying about? When you’re worrying about a meeting with your boss, stop. Instead prepare yourself for it. Get enough sleep the night before. Arrive to the meeting 10 minutes early.
When you find solutions and act on them, there’s no room for worry.
Embrace your emotions.
Most of your worries are unsolvable problems. In fact, they’re problems because you’re making them problems with obsessive negative thoughts. Underneath an unsolvable problem is an emotion you’re trying to avoid.
Ask yourself, “What would I be feeling if I didn’t make this a problem?” Name and claim the emotion. Breathe through it.
Meditate.
Don’t check your email, phone or Facebook first thing in the morning. Instead, sit quietly and focus on your breathing. Five minutes a day will reduce your anxiety. Add another five minutes every two weeks until you’re up to 20 minutes.
Observe the thoughts that come up during meditations and one by one just let them go. This one habit will change your life immensely.
Choose when to worry.
Create a time and place, and give yourself permission to worry. Set a timer and worry for fifteen minutes about whatever you want. When the timer rings you stop worrying.
When things come up, remind yourself that you can worry about that tomorrow. You’ve had your time today.
Embrace uncertainty.
Train yourself to think positively about the future. If you believe that the best is yet to come you can begin to take steps to make it so. Assume things will go well. Believe you are capable of handling whatever comes up.
Focus on what you can do instead of what you can’t do. Begin again.
Get uncomfortable.
Do what scares you. Introduce yourself to others. Go new places. Speak your truth. Go places alone. Give yourself credit. Get comfortable being uncomfortable. You’ll worry less and increase your self-confidence.
Exposure Therapy and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
You can learn to embrace your fears, stop your obsessive thinking and control the levels of your anxiety. You don’t have to live a life of suffering. If you can’t stop your worry and anxiety, call a therapist. Join a support group.
You deserve to enjoy life.
“If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.” ~ The Dali Lama
Check out Living With Ease by my good friend Sandra
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