9 Ways To Redefine Your Relationship With Fear

The most successful people you admire face rejection, failure, doubt and fear. They experience problems, tragedy and loss. It’s all part of their life story.

Victor Frankl survived three years in a concentration camp. He authored 39 books, including “Man’s Search for Ultimate Meaning,” one of the ten million most influential books in America.

The first company, Bill Gates started with Paul Allen, Traf-O-Data failed. They tried again and Microsoft was born.

Three times Steven Spielberg was denied entrance to the University of Southern California School of Theater, Film and Television. After being accepted into another school, he dropped out to pursue directing. Steven didn’t complete his B.A. until 2002.

J.K. Rowling was a divorced single mother on welfare, attending school while writing her novel “Harry Potter.” The novel turned into a franchise that made her a billionaire.

Successful people succeed because they develop in spite of attitudes. With perseverance and persistence, they do what it takes to overcome great obstacles.

They are willing to get through difficult times, transcend their limitations and become stronger and wiser because of their challenges.

Most importantly, they believe in themselves and are unwilling to trade their destinies for safety, comfort and momentary gratification.

Successful people redefine their relationship with fear. You can too.

Take opposite action

Do what you don’t want to do! The instant you feel resistance to a task is the instant that you need to talk or push yourself through your fear.

When you don’t feel like getting out of bed, get out of bed. When you don’t feel like attending an event, attend the event. When you don’t feel like doing an unpleasant task, do the task.

Taking opposite action becomes a turning point that makes the next step easier; it places you in flow and changes the course of your life.


Let go of overanalyzing problems and finding the perfect solution. Get over the fear of getting it wrong.

Dreams don’t come wrapped in pretty packages. Opportunities materialize when you do your best, work smart and trust the process.

Dreams happen when you take a risk, ask for support and surrender doubt and fear. Learn to surrender what holds you back and keep moving forward.

Fear a life not fully lived

Be far more afraid of a regret-filled life than of taking the next big risk. Be more afraid of not using your gifts and talents than of looking embarrassed or feeling silly. Be more afraid of being stuck in your comfort zone and barely breathing than of your palms sweating as you create the next best thing.

Put yourself in scary positions

Don’t let fear rule. Set yourself up to be challenged. Take a class that you don’t believe you can pass. Prove yourself wrong. Make all necessary phone calls. Get over your fear of rejection.

Go to a foreign country. Learn the language. Overcome your fears doing what you previously thought was impossible. Witness yourself change as you allow your fear to fade.

Get started right away

Ask someone out on a date. Seek out a new position that you don’t thing you’re capable of. Try a new parenting style. Go see a divorce lawyer. Create boundaries and demand respect. Pay off credit card debt. Whatever it is you need, go after it. Create a new lifestyle. Begin today.

Environment is everything

Release all of your unhealthy relationships. Stop giving them your energy!

Who are the top five people you spend time with?  Entrepreneur, author and speaker, Jim Rohm said, “You are the average of those five people.”

Surround yourself with a brave tribe. Spend time with courageous people who are willing to fail and who want to make a difference in the world. Join those who are living their dreams and helping others do the same.

Own your magnificence

Quit your excuses. Quit your time-wasting activities. You are smart, worthy and strong. Give yourself credit for what you get right. Relive your past successes when you feel like you can’t go on.

Take a time-out and regroup. Then move forward with more enthusiasm and determination than ever before. Allow yourself to shine and help others do the same.

Manage your money

Stop overspending. Get out of debt. Behind every unnecessary purchase is a fear of not enough. I am not enough. I don’t have enough. I don’t do enough.

You don’t need every new gadget. You don’t need to purchase another pair of shoes. Learn how to manage your money. Read Money by Anthony Robbins or Action Plan by Suzie Orman.

Replace fear with faith 

Focus on the results you want instead of the fear that you have. Take on bigger challenges and have faith that you will do well. Your future depends on the choices you make today. Redefine your relationship with fear.

Sometimes it’s necessary to change your direction but don’t ever give in to fear or give up on a dream.

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