Book Review: Fearless The 7 Principles of Peace of Mind
"Just a few years ago, opportunities seemed endless…We felt safe and invulnerable. Today fear is running rampant and our anxieties can come from our unstable economy, war, greed and other rapid changes that are happening all over the world."
With Fearless, Dr. Shoshanna has created a unique guide to understanding how fear works. Combining the teachings of East and West, including real-life anecdotes and practical exercises, it provides the psychological, spiritual, and practical guidance for attaining a life of growth, fulfillment, creativity, and well-being. No matter what your fears are: fear of love; loss; or confrontation, unemployment, etc. Dr. Shoshanna shows how to convert this constant sense of dread into peace of mind.
Author: Dr. Brenda Shoshanna has been a practicing psychologist and therapist for over twenty-five years. She is also a relationship expert and has contributed to iVillage, and has appeared frequently on national television (ABC, CBS, NBC, and MSNBC) and print media (Cosmopolitan, Mademoiselle, and Allure).
For more information go to www.Becomingfearless.homestead.com
Fearless is divided into 3 parts, and includes a preface and a epilogue. The book contains 210 pages of powerful wisdom, insights, stories and exercises. By incorporating the creative solutions into your life your fear will lose it's grip and you'll regain your courage.
The first part of the book contains 7 chapters, one for each principle of peace. In each chapter you are taught a principle an how to dissolve the related form of fear and gain courage. Studying the principles and doing the exercises will bring you a sense of safely, well-being and trust.
Each chapter also concludes with a universal truth to be mediated upon, and applied daily.
You will want to keep this book close to use as a daily resource. When fear strikes you can return to the principles to restore your peace of mind and address whatever obstacles life puts in your path.
There is so much meat in this book it's difficult to give you an over view of each chapter or principle. Instead I'm am going to quote or paraphrase some of Barbara's powerful words. I'll leave the new and unique exercises each another treasure, for you the reader to unearth on your own.
Chapter and principle 1: The Courage to Be Who You Are
In this chapter you will unearth your authentic self. "We create masks to meet the masks of others. Then we wonder why we cannot love and why we feel so alone…When you let go of that which is unreal, your authentic self will appear all by itself. The more exercises you do in this book, the more you are planted in the truth of who you are."
Chapter and principle 2: Letting Go of Attachment and Grasping
In this chapter you will learn change is not loss…it is simply change. "Empty hands are precious. When your hands are empty, not grasping, they become supple and available. They can feel, they can touch, reach out to others, give and accept gift in return.Let go of grasping and unhealthy attachment. Open your hands, your mind, your heart."
Chapter and principle 3: Recognizing the Voices Within
What Brenda shares in this chapter really hit hard, "There is nothing wrong with falling down, being wrong, making a fool of yourself. Nothing. Just do it. Take action. Get up. get out, engage with life, and do something. Take one step and then the next, no matter how you feel. Fear will fight you on this. It will tell you to wait, think it over, hide, get ready, prepare postpone–make all the conditions right."
Chapter and principle 4: Finding a Safe Harbor
In this chapter you will learn how to handle the pain in your life and more. "Is is very important to distinguish between healthy, life-giving, constructive challenges and those that arise from attachment to danger, suffering, and harm. Some challenges tear you down, others help you grow upright and strong."
Chapter and principle 5: Blessing Others: Deeds of Love
In this chapter you will get to the root of self-hatred, anger and your shadow, the practice of forgiveness and self-respect and more. "Deeds of love heal wounds and prevent fear from arising. Love is a verb, an action you can take no matter
your feelings. When you offer deeds of love you are receiving protection against the effects of anger."
Chapter and principle 6: Letting Go of Control and Domination
Here you are introduced to healthy control and so much more. "There is another way in which you can relate to others. You allow yourself to be fully aware that the other is also a person. You make room for her uniqueness. You welcome her difference."
Chapter and principle 7: Discovering Your Perfect Nature: Becoming a Friend
When you become your own friend there is no need to come out on top or be the most beautiful or the most brilliant. You'll learn how to drop rivalry, malice and fear in your relationships. "The battle with others has only been a distraction from the real battle going on within."
Part 2: Becoming Whole
Chapter 8: Finding the Precious Jewel
This chapter is about mindfullness, gratitude, forgiveness and more. "You know how to find the precious jewel of your life. You know who you are and what is needed. You have always known and always will know. No one else can teach you. No one else can hurt you. You are the prize you are seeking, just as you are."
Part 3: Workshop for Dissolving Fear
The workshop is filled with rich, fresh and powerful exercises. "Given the state of the world there is nothing more important one can do than be dedicated to dissolving fear and cultivating love and peace." Brenda states, "The exercises in this book are simple and enjoyable and more powerful than any weapon you can find. Simple tasks will change your life. Begin today to claim the full beauty and power of who you are."
Epilogue: Living on a New Basis
Brenda discusses God, the gift of peace and more.
Resources, Bibliography and Index
I have read two powerful books this year. This is one of them. For all those who struggle with fear, I ask you to purchase the book and do the exercises. By doing so you will grow exponentially. When that happens everyone in the world benefits.
I am not an affiliate for this product.
I will be gifting the person who leaves the most powerful comment with a copy, of Fearless.
What is your biggest fear? How do you alleviate your fear?
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{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }
When you recognize the voice of triumph is within you, you no longer look outside for change. Realize, the only way to shift from fearful to courageous is to fix the voice inside of you, from fearful to courageous. Your outer world is the refection of your inner world. Change the inner world first if you expect a different result!
My biggest fear is that I won’t be successful. I know that I’m already successful in many ways, but I have these grand plans that I want to have happen. This is a lot harder than I thought it was. I guess it always is.
I think I hold myself back. It’s unleashing everything in me, to help other people. This too isn’t easy. Putting ourselves out there can cause a lot of backlash and judgement. The more that I try though the less I care about what other people think. That’s a beautiful thing.
Oh this sounds like a wonderful book Tess, and I am working on one for a paid review in September and I was just thinking the combination of the two would make great reading for waking up and tucking in for sleep – on one’s bedside table.
Is it not wonderful all these folks working on the same positive frequency and getting their lovely ideas out for others to share in the wealth…this it seems to me will make us better people.
I am posting my Tess post on Monday – tomorrow…Some more Tess wisdom to share
Thank you Tess for sharing this book and author with me, with us.
This was great and I have added the book to my list…Thank you
Jonathan
Well said and very true. Thanks for sharing your wisdom here!
Karl,
Yes I so understand and that’s why I love so many of the techniques in the book. You will succeed Karl, no doubt in my mind. Let me know if I can help you in anyway.
Patricia,
I’m looking forward to your review your working on. Thanks so much for stopping by and all the support you give. I appreciate you!
Tess,
I bet this is one awesome book! I love each technique shared here…and I incorporate them into my life so that fear doesn’t have a chance to grow big enough to be a barrier…I used to live a fear filled life..my biggest fear stems from childhood and is that I am not enough…that Fear dictated all of my choices, usually leaving me with feeling a if I had very few choices…
I alleviate that by growing Faith..growing the good in every moment, giving praise for that good and like I said allowing it to blossom and be so abundant that the room for fear is negligible..when fear does show, it is small and manageable so I acknowledge it, affirm my faith, and release it.
Fear in my life means I am resisting something, so I look at what I’m resisting and then embrace it fully…
And always I bring it to nature..I regroup, refresh, and listen to whatever is presented to me..
Joy you’re a living example of fear less! I love your life philosophy and appreciate you sharing your journey with our community. Peace out bean sprout!
Hi Tess,
Thanks for providing this review. I know in my past principal 3: Recognizing the Voices Within has created the most fear in me. I call these voices old tapes, and in the past these tapes would tell me I wasn’t worthy or capable. These old tapes were the Lie.
I am learning to replace these old tapes with newer ones that tell me that I’m more than enough. These newer tapes speak my Truth.
Alex
Alex,
One of the reasons I can relate to you is because you “tell on yourself.” When we do that it gives everyone permission to be perfectly imperfect. We also deepen our connections with each other. Thank you.
Tess,
The people you find to interview are like you…like attracts like: BOLD, honest generous and available.
Brenda, so much of what you said resonated with me on a deep level:
The masks we create to interact with other people’s masks… no wonder we feel so disconnected and alone.
The concept of empty hands.. I feel so much better when I don’t cling to the way I want things to be.
The voices in our heads…I am good at recognizing mine now. It is so empowering when my clients find these voices and realize they that they are not them, only voices from their childhood.
Being aware that someone else is a unique person.. I have learned to see the divine in everyone…it is so healing.
Becoming your own friend…when I stay in love and acceptance for myself, I am so much more at peace. When I get ruffled I realize that it is because I have unmet needs and I work on these.
Words to live a peaceful life by. Empowering words!
Thank you Tess and Brenda for sharing such gems! I can not wait to read this book!
warmly,
Brenda Strausz
.-= Brenda´s last post…Teleclass- Improving Your Self-Esteem with Emotional Freedom Techniques EFT =-.
Hi Tess! This book sounds wonderful – and much needed in today’s world! Just looking around at all the disasters, crimes, the hunger, disease and fighting, the greed, the killing. Yep, lots of fear out there!
I used to fear I won’t have enough time to accomplish all I want to accomplish in this one life. I want to help people live healthy productive joyous lives thru creativity, nutrition and joy journeys. I’m not having that fear anymore. Not because I entertain the idea of living forever, but because I am at perfect peace that I am doing exactly what I should be doing and I’ve been able to let go and not be attached to any outcome. I put what I know to put out there and let the Universe handle the details. Besides Tess, Fear is one of those “f” words! And you know how I feel about the “f” words!
Delightful post! Thank you so much for letting me know about this book! It’s on the list!
hugs
suZen
Tess, What an excellent, comprehensive review you have written! Thank you! This looks like a wonderful book from many different angles.
My biggest fear is the fear of dying and letting go of all that is familiar. At the same time, I know that I am not this body. I am not even this “I.” Death provides a unique and powerful opportunity to recognize one’s true nature. When you truly understand and are prepared, there is nothing to fear in death.
It’s an ongoing process to shed the old habit of fear and adopt a new one of looking forward to the transition. I feel I have all that I need to keep moving positively in the right direction.
Great question!
.-= Sandra Lee´s last post…Timeless blogging advice- 12 great links =-.
Oh, that sounds like a book just up my alley! I’d love to read it. I have a friend who really could use a book like that. My biggest fears are letting my children make their own decisions. But often in the end, I see where their decisions lead them and I’m at peace.
great review by the way.
Ditto everything that Karl at Work Happy Now said. Exactly my fear-related inner-experience. Especially, “The more that I try though the less I care about what other people think.” Facing my most terrible fears with actions is transforming me.
Thanks for a great post, Tess, and your tribe, too, for all the great sharing.
Hi Tess,
I had a healing experience with Gary today, and while in an altered state he was talking to me about fear, jealousy, and the power of forgiveness. He assured me that in time everyone would live peacefully, but only after they put aside fear and jealousy. I was reminded that there are no miracles, only life, and that there should be no more martyrs. We have to forgive ourselves first, then find peace, and finally release fear. I’ve video of Gary on my blog, but I didn’t record the healing today. It was a private moment.
I love you Tess.
.-= Simon Hay´s last post…Soul Healing and Friends =-.
Brenda,
You will love this book. It’s you through and through. I’m reading it for the second time and trying out a few of the exercises. Like I said it’s one of two great books I’ve read since January.
suZen,
Yeah for you, going after your dreams and letting go of the details. Isn’t the second 1/2 of life grand? You’re a role model;)
Sandra,
It’s supposedly such an unknown and anyone with a NDE tells us it’s so beautiful…it really doesn’t make it any easier for me. I don’t want to leave my friends and family! I Know you have all you need to keep moving forward…but not so fast I’m just getting to know you;)
Jeanne,
Yes I’m right there with you and Karl, facing, acknowledging and taking actions. Fear, the big bully is shrinking as I type;)
Simon,
Forgive ourselves first, find peace and release fear. OK I’m all over that!
Hi Tess,
This sounds like a marvelous book. You’ve covered it so well too. Everyone has fears – I think it’s part of the human experience. I guess the thing we need to learn is to not let them hold us hostage – to go forward anyway. Many years ago I read a book (I can’t remember the author), Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. That I think sums it up for me. Once you do the thing you’re afraid of you overcome the fear! I’ve always been afraid of not being able to support myself financially – I’ve always been able to though, so my fear is unfounded, yet it persists. I keep wondering if it’s a residual fear from a past life? Anyway, I keep working on alleviating this nagging fear.
.-= Angela Artemis´s last post…Are You Blocking Your Intuition =-.
Hi Tess
Oooh! Always fun to learn about new books, especially ones with a powerful, empowering or life altering message.
So what is my greatest fear? It is an interesting question and the truth is that I don’t know the answer to that off hand. Just over a year ago, I got to a point where I didn’t feel like I had any fears (seriously). And then everything changed, career wise and thus parts of life, etc… and now I am learning more about myself again.
Do I have a fear of failing…. I don’t think so, as I don’t look at life as a competition or in the view of duality that we either succeed or fail. I think if we are alive, that is success enough
I think my greatest fear, which is what I am learning about myself as I go deeper and deeper into my work, is exposing myself fully to others. I think there is a sense of vulnerability that I never really had before when I was in a routine rich job that I knew like the back of my hand. I knew who I was, what was expected of me and how much of myself to expose. But upon leaving all that…. the sky is not even the limit…
Anyway, I look forward to this journey of mine continuing to open and take me deeper and deeper within myself….
.-= Evita´s last post…Embrace Fear to Transform Your Life =-.
Hi Tess,
This seems odd to me looking back, but I can remember spending a lot of time with my former employees helping them transition when our little start-up company was acquired by a much bigger company. The change was drastic and couldn’t be avoided. I thrived with change, but was constantly surprised how difficult is was for my employees.
The reason this seems so odd, is that now that I am facing intense change, personally, it seems much harder to go with the flow and accept with love and grace.
To be quite candid (since you asked…) I’m afraid of loosing my ability to walk. I’m afraid of loosing clear-headed thinking. I’m afraid of the potential of advancing disability. How do I alleviate my fear? I ask for help when I need it. I do my best to live in the moment. I laugh as much as I can. (I call you.)
Thanks for this, I want to read this book and I will.
~xo
.-= Lori´s last post…Describe Your Awesomeness =-.
Hi Tess!
My biggest fear has stemmed from the “I’m not good enough” fear – or the fear of being rejected. These days I look upon that fear as a compassionate observer. It still tries to niggle me, but the truth is there is way too much evidence to the contrary. I married to the love of my life, I have a great family, I am loved…when it comes to my writing and my fear “who wants to read what I write anyway?” is proven incorrect because I see who’s reading what I’m writing…they write to me, they listen to my radio show, they come to my workshops…FEAR…just another name for False Evidence Appearing Real…
xo
Peggy
.-= Peggy Nolan´s last post…Are You Unfolding As You Should =-.
Letting go of grasping–this is what they are constantly trying to impart to us in yoga class, the “what’s in it for me” mentality. Being happy with the present and what you have is the key to happiness.
Letting Go of Control and Domination–you cannot control it so why worry about it. If we could realize this we’d be a lot happier. Seeing the uniqueness in other people and their viewpoints as you say, Tess, is a big step in this direction.
I actually ordered the book…it is definitely my cup of tea~!
I forgot to mention that my biggest fear has always been of being big and powerful in the world. I know that I share this with many of us on this path.
I work with it by using affirmations and by the line from Nike, “Just do it!”. I know that I was born to shine my light and it is dishonoring to myself and my fellow humans night to do so. So here I am … shinning!
Love,
Brenda
.-= Brenda´s last post…Teleclass- Improving Your Self-Esteem with Emotional Freedom Techniques EFT =-.
Angela,
When I was a practicing psychologist I heard this fear from every woman over 40 I saw. The closer we come to mid-life the more women fear the worst. As I’m typing this I’m thinking. What’s the big deal we have room mates like when we were younger. I swear If I have to go to assissted living or a nursing home I’m going to the same one my sisters or girlfriends are going too. I’ll make it a blast if I have to;)
Evita,
I love it that you don’t see it as a duality and if we’re alive we’re a success. You are so wise and honest and caring. I’m going to follow your lead and enjoy my own journey and going deeper. We were sisters in another life time;)
Lori,
You go ahead and call me anytime you want and I’ll help you laugh at your fears. We’re bigger than them. ROFLOL It might not be easy to go with the flow with love and grace but you’re doing it! Love ya! xo
Peggy,
You are so right on and you don’t have to tell me cuz I know they love you and so do I. You are blessed and it’s wonderful how you share your blessings with others.
Matt,
I’m writing down you yoga message. Thanks for sharing it. I’m putting it on an index card in case I forget. It’s funny how things we know take on more meaning certain moment. Let go of grasping. Let go of control and domination. My hands are empty and open. Thanks for your message. God sent you to me;)
Brenda,
Wow a disservice to me and others. That’s well put and a big insight to remember. We’re not doing our earthly job when we shrink and hold back. Thanks for stopping by again. You’re the best!
I definitely want to read this book! This really struck a chord with me because just last night I was talking to a friend about how: “We create masks to meet the masks of others. Then we wonder why we cannot love and why we feel so alone…” My gosh, and then the advice of facing fear by (to quote Joy Holland from her guest post on Evolving Beings) “dancing with it.” What incredible synchronicity that this week I’m surrounded by “overcoming fear.” And I have, Tess! I’ve been acting more boldly, and the results are out of this world!
Love you, my friend!
.-= Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s last post…August Message from Barbara =-.
Thank you for sharing this book…I want to pick it up, it is in line with where I am now.
Fear is something I’ve been “working with” ever since I quit my job and every fear I “hid” bubbled to the surface! I recently stopped running (as physical activity) in part because of physical pain. But the emotional realization has been tremendous about how running was a metaphor for me and my fear. I’m no longer “running” from my fear. Instead I’m able to be with it and the discomfort and recognize more often than not this is where I’m supposed to be. It’s powerful. My biggest fear that I deal with is actually similar to Peggy – not being good enough. And I know that goes way back in time to when I was a little girl. How our pasts follow us and try to haunt us!
Hi Tess. I can’t wait to read this book. I love the quote you listed from chapter 3, “There is nothing wrong with falling down, being wrong, making a fool of yourself.” This book seems like one that will fit perfectly during this transitional phase of my life. Thanks for posting the review.
.-= Nea | Self Improvement Saga´s last post…40 Signs You’re In A Healthy Relationship =-.
Thanks for the comprehensive review. I will definitely read this book. I am continually shocked by the limitations I see others put on themselves, because of the many fears they have. Many of these fears are based solely on assumption and interpretation. If this book is a great a resource as it sounds, I will definitely be sharing it with others! Thanks
.-= HappinessandWisdom´s last post…Create your Happiness Schedule =-.
Tess,
I’m so happy to win the book. It reminds me a little of my book for mothers. Mine is a simple read and I’m looking forward to delving into FEARLESS.
Thanks so much!
Betsy