Embrace Fear and Choose Change

We can embrace fear and choose to change. 

The problem is we don’t like change. It's hard work. It requires facing painful and difficult emotions. It requires us to surrender the status quo.

A few of my past life changes

I have accepted fear as a part of life – specifically the fear of change…I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says: turn back. ~Erica Jong 

  • I chose to see a therapist and healed my past.
  • I chose to quit smoking and I began running. 
  • I chose to become a vegetarian.
  • I began studying A Course In Miracles.
  • I finished graduate school.
  • I opened a private practice as a therapist.
  • I started a blog and a coaching career.
  • I moved from Michigan to Arizona.
  • I decided to be a happy person.
  • I decided to live life on my own terms.
  • I chose to be responsible about money.

A few small changes and ongoing changes

  • I began green juicing.
  • I let go of the need to be right.
  • I keep a gratitude journal.
  • I choose to be positive.
  • I choose to continue to grow.
  • I think of myself as a forgiving person.
  • I love and accept everyone, including you.

Fear of change is the reason we resist anything.

In many circumstances, we refuse to change until our backs are up against the wall.  

Life consists of twists, turns, good fortune, and disappointment. Instead of avoiding your problems and lessons, it’s possible to learn from experience, embrace change and live a fabulous life.

In order to grow you have to change.

Change allows you to experience life differently. Change makes you a stronger person. It’s your responsibility to make your life better. 

Things change when you make the decision to change:

Become an open-minded person.

Choose to listen more and talk less.

Change your attitude.

Decide to face your fears.

Embrace diversity.

Decide to believe in yourself.

Choose to be a more loving person.

Opt out of being right.

Learn to love and respect yourself.

Surrender what you cannot change.

Begin to appreciate your life today.

Expect the best. 

The changes you make will affect those closest to you in a positive manner.  

Get clear about what you need to change, why you need to change, and how you will monitor your success.

1. Decide what you will change.

To help you get clear finish this sentence, “My life would be better if I changed ____________."

The following are some additional suggestions for change:

Exercise more

Get more sleep

Find a different job

Increase face-to-face communication with others

Manage your moods

Spend less

Save more

Move to another city

Learn a new skill

Watch less television

Strive less and thrive more

Save for a vacation

Become a more loving person

Read more 

Become a forgiving person

Join a support group

Choose to include more fun and play in your day

2. Write down why you need to change and the benefits of making a change.

I need to change my eating habits because of high blood pressure. The benefits are weight loss and good health. 

I need to save more money. The benefits are having an emergency fund and financial freedom.

I need to keep a gratitude journal. The benefits are feeling satisfied and creating well-being. 

I need to establish a morning ritual. I benefit by staying calm and centered through out the day.

Turbulence is life force. It is opportunity. Let's love turbulence and use it for change. ~ Ramsay Clark 

3. Write down obstacles that may prevent change. 

For example, your “inner critic” is sabotaging your efforts. 

I can’t handle it.

I don’t have time.

I don’t have enough money.

I’m comfortable, even though I’m miserable.

I don’t have enough support.

I’m afraid of failure.

I’m afraid of what others will think.

It’s not really that bad.

I’ll start tomorrow.

Change your thoughts and you change your world. ~Norman Vincent Peale 

4. Write down solutions for each obstacle. 

Change what you are telling yourself. Make up a new story. 

I can do it one day at a time.

I can ask my best friend for support.

I can start my day an hour earlier.

I can be positive. I will succeed.

Now is the best time to begin. 

Small and consistent steps are the best way to begin. It makes change easier. You don’t have to leap out of your comfort zone. 

If you want to save money, begin saving all of your change. If you want to eat healthier, include one or two new vegetables in your diet, each week. As you accomplish one small step, take another. 

5. Use proven tools to create change. 

Breathe. Learn to slow down your pace. Breathe in “I am calm” breathe out “I am safe.” 

Use inspirational material.  Learn to motivate yourself when you feel like giving up. 

Get support. Find an accountability partner, hire a therapist, or join a support group. These three things require you connect with others for your emotional and mental health. 

Read affirmations. They help counter act your negative thoughts. Write them on index cards with colored markers. Keep a few in your purse, on your night stand and in your car. Read them several times a day. 

Slow down. Change doesn't happen overnight. Be patient with yourself and others. Remind yourself to take one step at a time, one day at a time. Live mindfully. 

Get outside. Nature is calming and healing. Spend at least 15 minutes outside daily. 

Shake up your routine. If you want to lose weight, stop eating in your car. If you want to spend less, stop all recreational shopping. Replace these habits with a positive change. 

Keep a journal. The process of writing things out makes it “real.” There is less room for denial. Write down your successes and failures. Write out your feelings. Write out your plan. When you want to give up, write. 

Think of the worst case scenario that could result from making a change. Create possible solution. Be prepared. 

Be kind. Be your own best friend. Never berate yourself for failing. Begin again, start over as often as it takes. 

Move.  Physical movement makes you feel good. When you feel good you do good. 

Have a spiritual plan.  Be connected through prayer, silence or meditation. Be connected to a higher power, God, Buddha, or what ever is right for you. 

To quit an addiction you will need professional help and a lot of support. I have heard clients say, “I can quit on my own. I quit for six months, once.” My reply is, “You stopped, you didn't quit.Quitting is forever.” 

Roughly one third of the population continues to smoke, knowing it’s a deadly habit. An addiction requires a "one day at a time approach." Addicts are required to change the people, places and things that they are triggered by.

A.A. teaches that one of three things will happen over time, to an addict that fails to change. An addict will eventually go to prison, a mental institution or die. 

Resolve, courage, and fortitude. These qualities will become stronger as you proceed down the path of change. 

In conclusion, there are unlimited tools available to change your life and fuel new habits. Your life won't change until you decide to change it. Decide today! 

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Farnoosh October 28, 2012, 4:40 pm

    Dear Tess, boy am I proud of you for Green Juicing! And for keeping it up. You have an amazing and contagious spirit and keep me inspired, you really do. You walk your talk – facing the fears and making *THEM* shiver in their place because you are certainly not afraid of a thing. Keep this up and thanks so much for the link love!

  • Tess October 28, 2012, 4:55 pm

    It’s a joy to know you. I even served my guests my green juice yesterday. It’s like sharing my health:)

  • Suzie Cheel October 28, 2012, 7:01 pm

    Tess what a brilliant post. As someone who has made so many changes over the past year what you have explored resonates with me. I know keeping a daily gratitude journal is so empowering as is juicing daily. I have totally changed my diet to one that is high alkaline and this I know has had such a positive outcome. Being positive and being in joy with all that one does helps to conquer fear too.
    I was thinking this morning in meditation how wonderful it is to have accepted being in the now, with what is and how that makes it easy to move forward.
    Suzie xo

    • Tess October 29, 2012, 5:05 am

      You are amazing. I’ve watched you grow and move forward with love for yourself and the world. We’ll see amazing things from you in 2013! Can’t wait to see it all unfold. xo

  • Betsy/Zen Mama October 28, 2012, 7:47 pm

    What a post! It seemed like 3 posts put into one! You have many so many positive changes over the years. What a great example you are for the rest of us. Thanks!
    Thanks again for your inspiration!!

    PS Can you send me the link to your 71 one ways to get over fear (or something very similar?) I had printed it out and now can’t find it on your website!

    • Tess October 29, 2012, 5:09 am

      Hi Betsy,
      I have made some changes over the years big and small. Early on I was just tired of being unhappy. The changes I made were big and made a difference in my everyday life in positive ways. The better I felt the more I changed. People think I am where I am in my life because of luck. Wrong! It’s because of my willingness to change. xo It was 75 ways and I’ll send it over.

  • Zivana Anderson October 28, 2012, 11:11 pm

    We’re on the same wavelength, I just wrote about fear too!

    This is such a fantastic post! I love the steps to creating lasting change. Love it!

    • Tess October 29, 2012, 10:30 am

      Good for you! We need more fearless people in the world. Thanks for your support! Have a great week.

  • Elle, motivational blogger October 29, 2012, 7:30 am

    Brilliant Tess, absolutely brilliant. I think Betsy is right, this is a number of posts all rolled into one. Loved your steps on moving into a state of lasting and productive change and happiness. You’re such an inspiration to me in so many ways…and I thank you.

    Love Elle

  • Tess October 29, 2012, 10:31 am


    Thanks for your kind words. I believe we reflect the best of each other. I love how you think and share so much of your joy with your readers. I’m glad we’re on the same team;)

  • Vidya Sury October 29, 2012, 11:11 am

    Tess dearest, you just proved that the best ways to make life better are the simplest, once we make up our minds to change. What a powerful post. I think just about anyone can benefit by simply picking up just a few points from here!

    Fabulous. Hugs! You do practice what you preach! Blessed to know you. Love, Vidya

  • Cathy | Treatment Talk October 29, 2012, 10:28 pm

    Hi Tess,

    Excellent and so inspiring!! Your enthusiasm always comes through your posts! I love it. “Expect the best” is important to remember. It is all in our attitude. Thanks for including your tips about addition. Addiction is a chronic disease and it needs to be managed forever. That being said, people can recovery and live amazing lives, so there is hope for anyone! Thanks for a great post!

  • Janet October 31, 2012, 9:58 am

    I always try to make a habit of meditation but fall off the bandwagon. It’s hard to keep up! But my ideal life is something I strive to consciously choose every day.

  • Frances October 31, 2012, 5:38 pm

    Thank you. Just what I need right now…

  • Jo November 1, 2012, 1:54 am

    Hey Tess, loved this post – it made me smile as I found myself thinking about all the changes I had made and having also embraced green juicing – have also inspired my clients to take it up 😉 it’s such a nice clear simple resources which I will be freely sharing .. I am choosing to not beat myself up so much for mistakes or not getting it totally right – I say it’s Ok for others but still do it myself – time to fully let myself off the hook … Keep up the splendid work ! Jo x

  • Mart November 2, 2012, 4:28 am

    At last someone who is prepared to take responsibility for their own actions, may the choice be with you!

Next Post:

Previous Post: