A Fearless Life: Small Bold Steps


Guest post by Rita Chand of Own Your Awesome

Today feels like one of those days where I have words fighting to get out, yet I can’t seem to open my mouth to say them.

Have you ever felt so uninspired by life that it literally feels like you’re standing still? I have been there, in fact, I was there, just a few short months ago.  Yesterday I had lunch with a friend who used the words “feeling stuck”. She’s unhappy with a couple of areas of her life, and she isn’t quite sure where to start.

Isn’t that always the way? We start to realize there are things in our lives that aren’t working, and then we get overwhelmed and we can’t seem to take a step forward.

I told her that what made the difference for me was sharing it. Sharing the stuckness. Sharing what wasn’t working. Just sharing. It didn’t always go so well. I had friends who felt sorry for me, and others who took it personally, which kept me from sharing sometimes. But the biggest difference for me, came from sharing.

We have a tendency to become disenchanted with life on occasion. I think it’s a natural evolution. Life is awesome. And then it’s not. Some areas are working. Others fall off the rails. Funny how we seem to have a tendency to live life like all areas of life can’t work together. It’s amazing how often I hear someone say “Everything is great, but…” I wonder what it would be like if the full sentence was “Everything is great.” Full stop.

I am fairly certain we wouldn’t know what to do with ourselves if everything in life was awesome. Then what? We’d have nothing to lament about. No reason to hide out. No good reason not to be awesome.

What if all it took to get ‘un-stuck’ was an action step? What if one tiny step forward was the only thing missing between life working and not working? Couldn’t be that simple though could it?

What if it was?

There were a few things my friend and I talked about at lunch, one of them was taking a step. Any step, in any area. Just taking one. Quite often we can wax on about what we think might help someone else, but you never really know how things will go or if they’ll take heed to what you said.

She did. She took a step. A surprising one. Which then opened up something awesome to happen, which then led to her taking another step. 

See how that works?

I find, when I feel the most stuck, or stopped or whatever the word is that you use for it, doing something, anything is what helps me get unstuck. Yes. It’s easier to sit and stay stuck. Thinking about going to the gym is a whole lot different than actually going.  You may burn a few calories while you think about it, but nothing compares to strapping on your runners, and walking in the door. You know you’ll feel better once you’re done, and yet we find so many reasons not to.

In life, there are ALWAYS reasons not to. I’d venture to say that you’ll likely never run out of reasons. The power comes from letting the reasons be there, and do it anyway. That’s when you really start to feel the awesome that makes up You.

Here’s the thing. Life is right now. It happens in this instant. And now this one. And this one. We have no idea what tomorrow holds for us or if we’ll even see tomorrow. 

I’d love to see a world that lives like that’s the truth. Like today is all we have.

I’m willing to bet Tess’ sister is living her life like that. Savoring every last second of every last minute, of every last day.

Imagine how much more fulfilling life would be if we did that.

I’ve had this feeling all day today that I might be falling in love with my new manfriend. (Oh it makes my stomach turn over just writing that sentence). What am I doing about that?  Nothing. I keep shaking my head like it’s an etch-a-sketch hoping the thought goes away. It’s not going away. So, what kind of day do you think I’d have if I just let myself be present to THAT thought right now? While I’m having it, instead of pushing it aside?

Right this minute, I promise to do that. Be present to it. Let my heart expand with everything I’m feeling.  Will you promise to be present to whatever it is you’re feeling right this minute? 

If you’ve been thinking of taking a trip, or going to the gym, or making lasagna for dinner, or kissing that guy you’ve been dating but haven’t had the nerve, how about you do it. Just do it.

Because you know what “they” say…there ain’t no such thing as someday.

Only now is what matters. Love xo

Bio: Emerging from an arranged marriage sanctioned by my traditional Indian family, I have come a long way.  My EUREKA! moment came when I was chosen from several hundred candidates to work for  the Beijing and Vancouver Olympics. Witnessing firsthand how people fought for what they loved by living and breathing their passions, fueled my devotion to my own! I challenge everyone to shake off their limitations and throw themselves headfirst into their passion, or to own their awesome.   I am out to do something that matters – to leave a legacy of positive action.  I am driven to shock people into their own awesomeness! You can follow me on Twitter

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  • Betsy/Zen Mama November 25, 2012, 7:05 pm

    Hi Rita,
    I love the idea of baby steps! I got stuck this summer with a few projects I was working on. I tried to let go of the dates and goals I’d made for myself and just take small steps and it worked. When I was ready, everything fell into place. I have a few friends with cancer and I agree, you can’t wait to live your life. That is how I am trying to live my life right now. I’ll check out your website, too!

    Thanks, Tess, for having a great guest poster!

    • rita November 26, 2012, 10:10 am

      Waiting to live your life just means you’re going to die without having done the things you think about. It’s pretty simple isn’t it? Baby steps.Everyone has to start somewhere. One action step at a time leads to amazing things. Thank you for coming by Betsy. I always love hearing what people get from what I write.

  • Cathy | Treatment Talk November 26, 2012, 9:43 am

    Hi Rita,

    What an inspiring post! Big things do happen with one small step at a time. I can relate to your line “Thinking about going to the gym is a whole lot different than actually going.” I woke up and knew I needed to run this morning. There is always part of me that wants to blow it off and take a walk instead. Usually I have a mental battle going – to run or not to run. I did win the battle this morning. The shoes were on and out the door I went. So glad I gave myself that extra push, because I do always feel better once I’m done. Take care.

    • Rita November 26, 2012, 10:09 am

      Cathy! That is fantastic! Way to go for heading out the door. It really is so easy to talk ourselves out of it isn’t it? My mantra since returning from WDS in Portland this past July has been “One bold action step at a time”. It’s been working for me. Thank you for coming by and reading my post today and thank you for sharing. Have a beautiful day!

  • Galen Pearl November 26, 2012, 10:54 am

    I like the way that just sharing helps. My daughter was going through a very hard time recently. Her fear built up in her mind until it was affecting her in various ways. Finally, she broke down and told me about what was frightening her. I mostly just listened and offered reassurance. That was several weeks ago and she has told me several times that after talking about it, she has had no problems. So that was the baby step for her.

    • Rita November 26, 2012, 3:05 pm

      Galen, that’s so awesome! It’s funny what happens to us when we are in angst about something and then we share it. Sometimes, all we really need is for someone to just hear us say the words and to get them out of our heads. Sounds like that’s just what your daughter needed and thankfully, you were able to be there for her.

  • Vidya Sury November 26, 2012, 12:08 pm

    Hi Rita, What a pleasure to meet you!
    Sharing vaporizes worries and fears. I always feel blessed that I have friends I can talk to any time. I love that we support each other and push each other when one of us holds back from doing something we want to.

    Thank you – beautiful post!

    Thank you, Tess!

    • Rita November 26, 2012, 3:06 pm

      Vidya, I love that. “Sharing vaporizes worries and fears.” indeed it does. Wow. Thank you for sharing that and for reading my post.

  • Elle November 26, 2012, 1:22 pm

    Great take on that first step Rita. It’s funny how our ‘monkey mind’ has those 157 varieties of excuses and reasons why or why not. And yet if our main thought of the day was ‘how well can I live my life today’ and as you say just take that one step towards it…aaah what a wonderful life we’d lead.

    Love Elle

  • Rita November 26, 2012, 3:08 pm

    Elle…I love the ‘monkey mind’ reference. we never run out of excuses do we? amazing the time that gets spent on them. think of the time we’d have if we didn’t. Thanks so much for reading my post today.

  • David Stevens November 26, 2012, 6:27 pm

    Feeling ‘stuck’ and the way you described this fits many of my clients…and indeed myself at times. Keep it simple, live for what is important Now…if you haven’t got something important…create something important, Now. Thanks for this
    be good to yourself

    • Rita November 27, 2012, 1:16 am

      David…Keeping it simple really is what makes a difference. We are so quick to over analyze and figure things out. That NEVER works. Just the one step is what changes the course of the action…full stop!

      and you are so welcome.

  • Sandra / Always Well Within November 26, 2012, 8:21 pm

    I’m very keen on this idea of taking a small step, any step when we feel stuck. Life comes in cycles and so can stuckness! It’s so helpful to have a simple solution like this.

    • Rita November 27, 2012, 1:17 am

      Isn’t it funny how we over complicate things? Just a step. We had to take a step to learn to walk. How is this any different?

  • Gavin November 26, 2012, 11:53 pm

    I have found that its now what you do in life and more about how you do what you do. For years and years I searched for the right thing to do and ended up for-filling the mantra “seek and do not find!”. Then I started taking the next obvious step with a whole new attitude and that’s when my life changed and a new peace, joy and lifestyle was discovered.

  • Rita November 27, 2012, 12:20 pm

    Gavin, It really is true isn’t it? So often we resist the first step..The more time we spend resisting, the harder it becomes to take it. Thanks for sharing that. I love that you took the “next obvious step”. Yay you!

  • lynbarden November 27, 2012, 3:53 pm

    Sharing troubles sometimes helps bring them back into perspective, it always helps to talk. I luv your attitude to life. Its something we all could work on, so many times we just need that extra push, make ourselves take that next step. such good advice. Thanks.

  • Rita November 27, 2012, 10:36 pm

    Oh thank you Lyn. I’m glad you enjoyed the post AND my attitude. I agree..sometimes when we aren’t sharing and instead, suffering about something, it’s like staring into a box. Nothing changes. But as soon as we start to share it…there are other angles and perspectives to be foun.d

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