Our modern way of living promotes constant stress, social anxiety and increased unease over work and personal life. Instead of feeling calm, most people feel overwhelmed. Our motors are always running!
It is possible not only to feel peace and serenity every day, as well as to remain calm when you are around or working with those who are angry and irrational. You can’t control how other people act. You can’t control much of what happens to you. What you can control is how you react and respond to it all.
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Following are some ways I’ve learned to remain calm and centered when those around me can’t. When you consistently practice these habits, the world around you changes and life becomes easier.
Be comfortable with pausing
Don’t imagine the worst. When someone is acting irrationally, don’t rush to a negative judgment. Instead, pause. There will always be people who aren’t as considerate, kind or calm as we like. When you take the time to pause, it gives you time to collect your thoughts and allows the other person the space to take a deep breath.
Choose to stay neutral
Learn to respect the opinion of others. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It’s possible to connect with someone you don’t like or agree with. When you make a commitment to remain neutral, both parties can remain calm and move forward together.
In today’s world people tend to be busy, worried, fearful, hurting and distracted. The word compassion means “to suffer with.” When you can put yourself in the other person’s shoes, you have an overwhelming desire to help.
Remember, we never know what’s really going on in someone’s life. Set an intention to be truly helpful.
Extend generosity and grace
Everyone gets upset. Remind yourself that we are all more alike than different. When you have a tendency to judge, add “just like me” to the end of a sentence.
“That person is crabby, just like me. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about half the time, just like me. She isn’t very patient, just like me.” Choose to let things roll off your back. Let others off the hook. Take the high road, always.
Allow people to be angry
Everyone experiences anger. Some people never learn how to deal with it, others do. When someone is angry, it’s vital that you remain calm, no matter what. Don’t allow others to knock you off your center. How someone else is feeling is about them. How you react is about you. Do what it takes to remain calm and address the situation. That’s where your power lies.
Speak less and breathe more
Don’t fall into an argument. Don’t say things you’ll regret five minutes later. Anger begins internally. You have the power to choose your emotions. Focus only on the present moment and what can be done right now.
Do what you can and let the rest go. If nothing else, you can always change your perception. That’s big! The past is over and the future doesn’t exist. Stay present.
Create a morning ritual
Don’t rush into your day by checking your phone or email. Create time and space for a morning ritual. Take 10 deep breaths before getting out of bed. Do ten minutes of meditation. Spend 10 minutes stretching.
When this becomes easy, add 5 minutes to your routine. When you begin with quiet and calm, you can go through your day being calm and centered.
Cope with healthy things
When we face stressful situations, we often calm or soothe ourselves with unhealthy actions. It’s easy to respond to anger with anger, alcohol, shopping, gaming, gambling and so on. Notice how you cope with stress.
Replace bad habits with healthy habits. Make a cup of tea and sit quietly with your thoughts. Take a long slow walk. Write in your journal. Talk to a friend. Healthy habits make happy people.
Remember how great life is
At the end of the day, reflect on what went right. Count 10 things that went right in the past 24 hours on your fingers. For example: my car started, my computer is running smoothly, someone helped me at work and so on.
Next count 10 things that you got right on your fingers. For example: I made time to exercise, I ate healthy, I called my mom and so on. This reminds you how great life is!
Sprinkle the world with kindness
Think kindly of others. Speak kindly to others. Do kind things for others. Kindness changes everything. The best thing about it is, there’s enough for everyone and it doesn’t cost a thing!
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