How To Stop Being So Hard On Yourself

by Tess

Don't be hard on s

Everyone gets rejected, says the wrong things and experiences failure. When it happens to you, there is no reason to be so hard on yourself. 

You don’t have to be your own worst enemy. Beating up on yourself doesn’t get you anywhere. No matter what you will always be a person of value! 

Instead, choose to change;create a new habit. Learn to treat yourself with compassion, forgiveness and grace. Choose to be gentle on yourself. 

Read on and discover how to lighten up and think well of yourself no matter what happens. 

Look for the blesson. Look for the lesson. What went wrong? How can you do things differently the next time? Choose to grow forward and learn from painful situations. When you do, your lesson becomes a blessing … or a blesson. 

Make life a positive process. Believe in your worthiness and brilliance. Take small steps and go at your own pace. Forget about time, be patient and have faith. 

Change your approach.  Become aware of your self-talk and think before you speak to yourself. Quiet your inner critic with kind words and loving affirmations, sprinkled with understanding and compassion. 

Sit in stillness. Ask for guidance. Listen to your intuition. When you can remain calm, without judgment, you are ready to carry on. 

Don’t sweat the small stuff.  Beware of the temptation to make mountains out of molehills. Our egos like to make horror movies out of our errors. Ask yourself, “Will this matter six months or a year from now? Lighten up and go with the flow. 

Do the opposite. Reward yourself for trying. Spend time being creative. Do something interesting. Spend your energy focused on the important, wonderful and beautiful things in life. 

Get off the pity pot. Everybody has problems. Nobody wants to listen to you complain about yours. If you need to feel sorry for yourself, put a limit on it. Give yourself 24 hours to be miserable; then get up and try again. Count your blessings, not your troubles. 

Create a loving mantra. I am beautiful, kind and enough. Say it to yourself when you are down or when you feel rejected and defeated. Repeat it when you catch yourself falling back into self-criticism. Repeat it when you can’t sleep at night. Practice it every time you have to wait in line. 

Get excited about your future. Learn to expect the best. Remain positive. Refuse to give up. I'm on your side and I have all the faith in the world in you.

Please leave your thoughts below.

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    Tess Marshall

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    { 8 comments… read them below or add one }

    Elle April 29, 2013 at 11:19 am

    So, so true Tess. We seem to be hard wired for wanting approval and if we would only ask ourselves the right question, which in this case might be…”can I approve of myself, right now, in this moment.” And then, of course, answer yes!

    Love Elle
    Elle´s last post…Do I Have To Put Up With This? How to Let Go With Love.


    Cathy Taughinbaugh April 29, 2013 at 2:39 pm

    Hi Tess,

    Great suggestions here on how to think well of ourselves through thick and thin. “Make life a positive process” is certainly something to remember. As we go along, we will make mistakes and make wrong decisions, but so does everyone else. We can think less about being so hard on ourselves and more about giving ourselves a pat on the back. Take care!
    Cathy Taughinbaugh´s last post…How Far Down the Rabbit Hole Are You Willing to Go?


    Victor Schueller April 29, 2013 at 3:13 pm


    I love the “get off the pity pot!” I like the idea of giving yourself 24 hours, and then after that, to move on. That’s a great recommendation. Thanks for these wonderful tips! :)
    Victor Schueller´s last post…What Do You Need? |


    Tess May 1, 2013 at 11:47 am

    I think it’s important that we give ourselves a bit of time to feel sorry for ourselves. Limit is the key;)


    Harriet Cabelly April 30, 2013 at 3:50 pm

    Love this, especially the ‘blesson’. Growth through mistakes, disappointments, pain becomes transformative.


    Tess May 1, 2013 at 11:46 am

    Hi Harriet,
    I really liked that as well! Thanks for stopping by. I appreciate you.


    Shana May 1, 2013 at 8:36 pm

    “Look for the Blesson” – LOVE IT. Great article.
    Shana´s last post…Challenge #4


    Vanessa May 2, 2013 at 6:18 am

    Great post, Tess. Beating up on ourselves is not helpful & just keeps us stuck in a bad groove… but sometimes it’s very hard to get out of it! We hear a lot about forgiving people, but often the most important forgiveness is for ourselves…. forgiveness and unconditional love.
    Vanessa´s last post…Have you heard of tapping for anxiety?


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