10 Ways to Let Go of Fear and Trust the Process

trust the process

Don't allow fear to control your choices.

Every day we make thousands of major and minor choices that affect our future. The choices we make influence our mental, spiritual, emotional and physical health. They affect the people closest to us and the lives of strangers all over the world. 

Our choices have tremendous power. The simple decision to eat healthy or stop an addiction can have a positive ripple effect greater than you can ever imagine. A thoughtless decision can carry just as much harm.

Poor decisions are born out of fear.

More often than we care to admit, we make poor choices out of fear. We allow fear to stop us from speaking up, making a change or following our dreams. Fear keeps us from enjoying and participating fully in life.

It doesn't have to be this way. 

It's important to remember that no matter how many poor choices you have made in the past, you always have the freedom to choose again. 

Everyone lives in uncertainty. Life doesn't come with a guarantee. It's important to remember that life is a process and you can choose to trust it.

When you have important decisions to make, choose to center yourself and go within in order to feel safe. Learn to make the most difficult choices from this space. Lean into change and go with the flow.

The following nine tips will help you trust the process and allow life to unfold.

1. Live with a sense of wonder. Allow life to support you. Spend time outdoors: watch the sun rise, plant a rose bush or go for a walk. Get caught up in the laughter and movement of children on a playground.

2. Go with the flow.  Don’t deny your feelings. Breathe. Let painful emotions pass through you. Learn to detach from people, places and things that no longer serve you. Don’t hold yourself back.

3. Be resilient. Believe in your own ability to respond to life. Think of everything you have survived in the past. Move in a new direction. Decide that you’re going to survive and thrive. Be gentle with yourself.

4. Serve others. When you feel like life is against you and nothing is working out, find a way to bring others forward. Work in the soup kitchen. Pick up litter. Join a cause. Do something that takes you out of “woe is me.”

5. Do your work. Own your shortcomings. Heal your shadow side. Live with a positive attitude and a grateful heart. Authentic power comes from being responsible and accountable for your life.

6. Embrace the unknown. You are exactly where you need to be. Remove the distractions from your life and really examine where you are and where you want to go.  It’s a gift to be able to trust the unseen and intangible with a feeling of satisfaction and joy.

7. Be flexible. Be willing to change your plans and direction. Be open to "not knowing." Life changes in an instant. Change with it. Find a role model who moves through their days with ease and grace. Model their behavior.

8. Live with uncertainty. Get comfortable with “not knowing.” We don’t know why things happen. We don’t know what anything is for. Let go of your fear of change. Believe the best is yet to come. Keep breathing, reflecting and step up your personal care.

9. Enjoy the sun. The dark doesn’t last forever. Allow yourself to enjoy life. How good can you let it get? How much joy can you stand? You’re worthy of it all. Increase your pleasure quotient. Claim your abundance. Look for the light and move towards it.

10. Expect beautiful lessons and priceless gifts. When you are able to release your fear, judgment and negative reactions, you are left with the beauty of your own wholeness.

When you trust the process of life, you connect with a sense of oneness, synchronicity, serendipity and unconditional love. Your path becomes clear and you are pulled forward with a true sense of safety. 

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  • Motivational Speaker | Craig Harper April 8, 2013, 7:15 pm

    Great tips!

    Fear can certainly stop us from achieving lots of things. Your point 6 is especially important, 6. Embrace the unknown. It is very difficult for most people to get out of their comfort zone and embrace the unknown.


  • Betsy/Zen Mama April 8, 2013, 9:46 pm

    Thanks Tess! As always your posts seems to come at the right time! While they’re all great tips, #10 is important as I tie up a seemingly bad situation tomorrow. I think I’ve been at least trying to do 1-9!!

  • Suzie Cheel April 8, 2013, 11:19 pm

    Tess great post as usual- I am with Betsy I have some work to do on expecting, hoping maybe … so another BEach Inspiration- Be Expecting- thank you

  • Halina Goldstein April 9, 2013, 9:54 am

    I LOVE this statement: “Allow life to support you”. Because what you point to there is that this is what life does: it supports us! There are times – such as when losing a loved one – when we believe life does everything but support us. Loss, despair, pain and fear lead us to mistrust life. We can’t understand why life would do this to us.

    Yes, whether we understand it or not, life always supports us. Always. Because we are part of life. But we can only experience that support if and when we allow it. That too is an existential choice too, isn’t: “Will I allow life to support me?”

    Thank you Tess

  • Shawn April 9, 2013, 4:48 pm

    Thanks for the tips. It seems like just letting go in general and not trying to control everything s much is the key here. Living in the moment is important. I have been trying to be conscious of this more. It is easy to get caught up thinking about the future. And the biggest reason most people focus on the future is because they are worried about what the future holds. This makes all of their decisions be controlled by fear like you are talking about. Living in the moment helps you appreciate more of the things that are around you, which is what I am trying to focus on these days. I have many things to appreciate that are around me every day.
    Thanks for the tips!

  • Lori Gosselin April 11, 2013, 5:25 am

    Tess, this is the statement that intrigues me most: “What if we believed the best is yet to come?” That would be a very different, and wonder-filled way to live!

  • Patrica Anderson April 11, 2013, 10:01 pm

    Hi Tess,

    I like Step 5. It is really hard to admit our own mistakes and when we do, it is like overcoming our own fear. We must do our work by loving ourselves and that includes accepting our own self – defeats.

    Great post Tess!

  • Galen Pearl April 15, 2013, 2:44 pm

    I think living with uncertainty is one of the hardest ones. We want an answer, even if it’s an answer we don’t like. I used to charge forward just to escape the waiting-in-limbo part of progress. It was very hard to pause and wait with confidence that the path would become clear, and to expect it to lead somewhere good. Now I try to breathe into that place and trust.

  • Victor Schueller April 15, 2013, 8:22 pm


    I really liked #7 — I find that when I am open to going with the flow, and just allowing for the option to switch gears at any time, I have much less stress, feel more empowered, and enjoy more happiness. I agree that when you freeze up and are fearful of making a mistake or what consequences may result if things don’t work out “just right,” that the fear of such can really limit your ability to achieve a successful outcome. 🙂

  • Fran Sorin April 16, 2013, 2:11 am

    Your post struck me as propitious when re-reading it this morning. With the horror of the terrorist attacks in Boston, it would be easy to let fear overtake our psyche. Your words can help counteract that from happening. 🙂 Fran

  • Joyce April 22, 2013, 6:21 pm

    Just what I needed to hear today. Thanks for this post, Tess!

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