Being a mother is the most difficult job on earth. ~ Oprah Winfrey
I was one of 10 children. My mom wrote me the above note 25 years ago when I was angry with her for breaking a promise. It reads, "To My Dearest Daughter Theresa, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. It's so hard to please all ten. I love you much. Mom."
It meant the world to me. Reading it provided me with a light bulb moment. As a mother and daughter it was a defining moment.
Being a mom is very difficult. I agree. There is no such thing as a perfect mom, perfect children or a perfect family. You only need to be 'good enough.'
We know that and yet for some reasons we continue to have high expectations of each other.
As a mom you don't get a second chance at being a parent. You can't go back in time and change things. You can only begin again.
Some mothers aren't capable of beginning again. Some can't. Some won't. It doesn't matter. If nothing else she gave you the gift of life. That's huge. This Mother's Day be grateful and celebrate it!
Kristy, Niki, Shelly, and Kara and their cousins on a porch swing.
Forgiveness
I made numerous mistakes as a teenage mom. With four daughters under four, my twenties were my most difficult years! I give myself credit for sticking it out. I so wanted to run. Disappear. Never come back. I was thin. Dark circles under my eyes. Depressed. I didn't run. I stayed and at 27 decided to get help. My commitment to therapy saved us.
Forgive your mom. She did the best she could do, with what she knew, at the time. When we know better, we do better. Forgive your mom for the mistakes she made. Forgive yourself as well. Life is too short to live in the past.
A phone call
A child's voice, chatter, whisper, giggle, or laugh is music to a mother's ears. No matter what the age, we love to hear our children's voices. Go one step further than a text and call your mother on Sunday. Speak from your heart.
Make a card
It doesn't have to be fancy. Homemade cards make a mother's heart sing. They have more meaning than a purchased gift. I don't know why. They just do. Write down three words, "I love you." Then sign it.
Frame a photo
I love, love, love framed photographs. Some suggestions would be a photo of you and your mom when you were young, a photo of your family today, a photo of a special birthday party. My walls have always been filled with family photos.
Write a poem
The haiku is composed of 17 sound units divided into three parts – one with 5 syllables, one with 7 syllables and another with 5 syllables.
It is meant to be a meditation of sorts, that conveys an image or feeling when you see or notice something that makes you want to say to others -"Hey, look at that!" (Wikipedia)
My example:
A spring, sunny, day.
Memories of you and me.
Warm hugs and kisses.
Bake cookies
What activity did you love to do together when you were young? Invite your mom to join you and do it again. My mom used to love to bake. I loved to help her. Time together will put her over the moon! Invite her over for a favorite TV show and a big bowl of popcorn.
A favorite book or movie
Do you know your mom's favorite author or movie star? An offline shopping trip to a neighborhood bookstore is a double joy. Enjoy coffee or tea and a sweet treat. Keep your cell phone off and give her your undivided attention. Look at her with loving eyes and a heart filled with gratitude. She won't be around forever.
A weekend trip
Is there a bed and breakfast nearby? Is there a friend or relative that she would enjoy visiting overnight? Make the arrangements. Time together is priceless. Priceless!
My mom and her younger brother were very close. He moved from Indiana to Colorado Springs to be near his family when he retired. My mom was 80 years old when he became ill. I convinced her to fly from Michigan with me to visit him one last time. I have a beautiful photo of this precious weekend.
Extend a helping hand
Notice what your mother's needs are. What small jobs could you help out with? Show up with your tools and supplies and offer to help. Do it with a smile. You'll never regret it. Never. Reflect on all the memories you have of her helping you.
Dinner out
Does she have a favorite restaurant? Before we moved to Arizona we would visit my mom on Sundays. We often made or picked up dinner on the way, when she wasn't able to get out anymore. I was blessed to live nearby. It's difficult to watch your parents age. Sometimes it's difficult to go. Go anyway. It's part of a life of no regrets.
Gather family together
This can be as simple as gathering family members together for a game night, family dinner, or family reunion. You don't have to wait until everyone can be together. Gather those who are willing and able.
Mentally prepare yourself before you go. Set an intention of love. Don't bring up old issues or discuss problems. Make it light and have fun! Learn to enjoy each other's company.
Accept your mother
If you are an adult, speak well of your mother or say nothing at all. Heal your pain. Heal your past. You can't change it. You can 0nly change your perception. Learn to choose love over fear.
If you can't be with her. Love her from a distance. If you choose to be with her, do so out of unconditional love.
Live in the moment. Be in the moment. Be the love you wished you had received. Commit today that you will never say another unloving word again. Stop complaining. It's bad karma. Deal with it and move on.
Do a happy dance
If your mother is deceased, send out a prayer, sing a song, or do a happy dance in her memory. It's worth repeating, celebrate life itself and remember how blessed you are.
In honor of Mother's Day I'm offering my Course "Take Your Fear and Shove It" at a discount. You don't have to be a mom to purchase it! Be bold, Stay happy! This offer is good through Sunday!
The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world. 🙂 My Mom lives in my heart. I can only recall all the special times we enjoyed together. She was a teenage Mom too. And I miss her. Always will, because she was my best friend, still is.
Lovely post. Happy Mother’s Day to you, Tess.