How to Deflate Fear and Improve the Quality of Your Life

Fear can feel heavy. It can be convincing, conniving, and gripping. It’ll lock you in a mental prison.  Fear can feel light. It can be nagging, boring or weightless like a shadow you can’t escape.

Fear is part of life.

Don’t allow fear to keep you from traveling to new places or meeting new people. Don’t all fear to steal your possible connections, opportunities, and happiness. You either give your fear your life energy or you don’t. You decide. 

Tips for the next time you’re in a scary place: 

Create an in spite of attitude. In spite of my fear, I will take my first step or make the first move. In spite of my fear I will create a plan, ask for support, and begin. 

Invest in yourself. Create a $100 Startup. Get Danielle LaPorte's, FIRE Starter Sessions. Enter Leo Babauta’s Sea Change program. Get my course "Take Your Fear and Shove It!" Don't sit there, do something! 

Bet on your success. You can only plan and prepare for a limited amount of time. Take action today. Don’t convince yourself that you’ll fail before you even begin. Bet on yourself. Own your talent and strength. Dig deep for courage and get started. Today! 

Praise your efforts. Encourage yourself. Take breaks. Breathe. Create positive self-talk. Rock your talent. Strut your stuff. 

Dedicate yourself to deep stillness. Sit in a quiet place and breathe through your fear. Learn to develop a quiet strength within. Live in the present moment. Stay out of  fear-induced pain of the past and uncertainty of the future. 

Write yourself a permission slip. Allow yourself to dare, to risk, and to fail shamelessly. Write another one to get back up and try again. Repeat.

Create distance from your fear. You are not your fear. Talk to your fear. Ask fear, “What message do you have for me today?” Decide if there is any validity to the message and take any necessary action. Next, inform it that you’ll be taking care of yourself today.

Thank your fear and put it in an imaginary box, lock it, and throw away the key. 

Let us know how you'll move beyond your fear today! Please share below.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Chet May 14, 2012, 11:11 am

    Great tips Tess

    I like the first on – “In spite of my fear, I will take my first step or make the first move”.

    You have to trust your gut feeling and go for it… fear drives change. If you don’t push through, you’ll never know what’s on the other side.

    • Tess May 14, 2012, 7:47 pm

      Hi Chet,
      That’s my brother’s name. Let’s keep pushing!

  • Sandra / Always Well Within May 14, 2012, 1:19 pm

    I love this one: “Don’t sit there, do something!”, Tess. I’ll do that! Thank you. It’s exactly what I need today.

    • Tess May 14, 2012, 7:48 pm

      I’m happy you found something that can help. I’m so grateful you’re my friend. xo

  • Karen May 14, 2012, 1:23 pm

    I’m with Sandra – that’s my favorite line – don’t just sit there, do something – love it.
    Another inspiring post. Thanks for sharing your wisdom.

  • Susan Gregg May 14, 2012, 5:58 pm

    Hey Tess,

    I love Danielle LaPorte’s latest book as well. That woman has such a great way of saying things! I had a session with her a while back and it really helped me rekindle my passion.

    With aloha,

    • Tess May 14, 2012, 7:49 pm

      Yes she sure does. Before it was a book it was $150 for the program. I now see that it was worth every penny.

  • Betsy at Zen Mama May 14, 2012, 6:06 pm

    Great tips! Especially investing in yourself. I had a friend who always like the idea of pay yourself first when he got his paycheck. His savings account grew quickly that way. Investing in yourself is the same idea!! And, I like the idea of locking up your fear in the a box. I love your image, too, by the way!

    • Tess May 14, 2012, 7:50 pm


      When we pay ourself first we make ourselves a priority. Our savings as well. It also inspires you to keep going.

  • Glori (Crazy Introvert) May 14, 2012, 7:19 pm

    I can do all the things in the list except invest in myself. LOL. Maybe in the future…
    The rest of the items are all very useful. Thank you!

  • Tess May 14, 2012, 7:51 pm

    I’m not sure why you can’t invest in yourself. Either you don’t feel worthy or don’t have the money. Find a way. It’s absolutely necessary. You can do this!

  • Amit Sodha May 15, 2012, 2:58 am

    I love the idea of thanking your fear because it truly is a gift, it shows us what we need to address in our lives. It’s a road map and a guide.

  • Marie May 18, 2012, 8:02 pm


    I am a firm believer of permission slips. They allow me to mess up, play hookie, do great, dream BIG, and forgive myself.

    Your tips are great reminders and I thank you for your inspiring words.


  • Rose Byrd May 19, 2012, 8:43 am

    Tess, this is what I am taking away with me from this post today:
    “Write yourself a permission slip. Allow yourself to dare, to risk, and to fail shamelessly. Write another one to get back up and try again. Repeat.”

    FDR said it so well when he told America, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

  • Samuel May 20, 2012, 3:09 am

    It’s really easy to say but when it comes to implementing it really becomes tough.

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