Guest post: Paige Burkes
Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dream. ~Paulo Coelho
The core belief about fear is that it keeps us safe. Has this been true in your life?
Everything we do in life, we do in order to feel good. We act on our fears or boldness based upon our beliefs about the outcomes.
Living In Fear
While living in fear may feel limiting, our monkey minds are basically trying to protect us from what it believes is dangerous. It tells us stories that we’ve grown to believe. It tells us that, by taking the actions to live in fear, we’ll feel better than if we take bold actions.
If we grew up in an environment where taking bold actions was rewarded, where anticipating unknown outcomes was deemed exciting, we would believe those stories and continue to live our lives that way.
However, if we grew up where doing anything out of the ordinary, anything that could possibly have an unknown outcome, was something to be feared and avoided, we would believe that story and live in accordance with it.
Living in fear is living in a story that doesn’t serve us. It might make our monkey mind perfectly happy but that little critter has never been a true friend.
Making New Choices
Fears are simply beliefs that we’ve bought into based on a lifetime of experiences. Those experiences have shaped us based on how we’ve chosen to perceive them.
We all have a choice in how we see and interpret our environment and experiences. Remember the saying: One man’s trash is another man’s treasure? That’s true with our beliefs too.
Follow these steps to move past the beliefs and stories that have kept you from following the calling of your heart:
1. Identify the fear (the story or belief) that’s holding you back from what you want.
What story is it telling you? How is it trying to keep you safe? What is it trying to protect you from? How is this helping you?
2. Thank the fear for trying to protect you.
3. Feel the pain this fear generates for you.
If you fear starting a new relationship or the rejection of approaching someone, feel the emptiness or loneliness of not having a significant other.
To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead. ~Bertrand Russell
If you fear having a lot of money, feel the stress, weight and desperation of never having enough money to do what you want.
If you fear taking steps to live your purpose and passion, feel the sense of loss or hopelessness of living your entire life without doing things that feed your soul.
Ask yourself again – Is your fear serving your highest good?
4. Feel the amazing feelings of stepping past this fear and taking action.
Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear. Perhaps the action you take will be successful; perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow. But any action is better than no action at all. ~Norman Vincent Peale
If you want to start a new relationship, feel the joy, connection and fulfillment of sharing your life with another amazing person.
If you want to create financial abundance, feel the peace and relaxation of knowing that you can afford to do whatever you like.
If you want to live your purpose and passion, feel the sense of fulfillment, openness and happiness of sharing your gifts with the world. By the way, the world is waiting for you.
It’s critically important that you get beyond simply thinking about how your life will be better if you could just get past your fear. That won’t get you very far.
You must deeply see and FEEL the negative feelings of staying where you are. Feel in your gut what your fears are doing to you and your life.
What will your life be like in five, ten and twenty years if nothing changes?
Then, in your core, feel the amazing feelings of how you will be when you step around your fears, stop believing their lies, and live the amazing life that you deserve to live.
From the positive pictures in your mind and the related amazing feelings, write new stories for yourself about how great your life will be when you drop the stories of your fears and live boldly, following your heart.
What will your life be like in five, ten and twenty years after you make these changes?
See and feel those stories in your mind and body every day.
Your monkey mind may try to cast doubt on your new stories. Thank it for its contribution and turn your back on its incessant, negative chatter.
Now Is the Best Time To Start
You’re much bigger and better than your puny monkey mind.
Start re-writing your stories today.
Start re-writing your bold, amazing life now!
Paige Burkes writes at Simple Mindfulness where she inspires her readers to see the world in a new light, experiencing life mindfully and inviting in more happiness and joy. Check out her new Mindful Body Program, a comprehensive program that uses mindfulness principles to transform how you think about diet, exercise and health. Make healthy fun!
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