Spend Less, Love More and Have a Happy Holiday!

by Tess

Spend less love more. Isn't that a great holiday idea? Instead of putting people on your shopping list, add their names to your love list.

Each day of the season is a new opportunity to celebrate.

Read on to prepare yourself for all the joy, happiness and merry you can handle.

Communicate your love. Speak lovingly of your friends, family, and coworkers. If you can't say something positive about our community and world leaders, don't say anything at all. Offer a prayer or a blessing instead. Write a love letter to the people you love and hand deliver them if possible. 

Be prepared. People will bug you. They will say and do things you won't like. Stay calm. Center yourself. Love and accept them anyway. That's the real reason you are together.

Lower your expectations. Accept and meet people where they are at. See beyond their imperfections. Difficult people need the most love and often get the least. Hold a vision of peace, joy, and happiness for everyone. Be kind to those who are unkind.

Check your ego at the door. Resist the temptation to think you are better than others because of the clothes you wear, the things you own, and the money in your bank account. Everyone wants to be validated, loved, and appreciated. We all want the best for ourselves and our loved ones. Make others feel special.

Give yourself permission to shine. Don't dim your light for others. Show others how loving you can be. Reach out. Offer your assistance. Go the extra mile. Be the change you wish to see in others. 

Take a time out. Excuse yourself from stressful situations. Don't get involved in conflict. Change the subject or leave the room. Go for a brisk walk.

Genuinely listen to others.

Everyone wants to feel important. We all want to be heard. Be the last person to speak and the first person to listen when you are at holiday gatherings. Become one with the speaker. Allow them into your heart. 

Be the love you wish to receive. Practice what you preach. Be your spiritually mature self. Release your feelings of envy, jealousy, and being unfairly treated in your journal. Allow peace, joy, and contentment to replace them.

Bless everyone. Take a moment and silently gaze at everyone around the table and be sincerely grateful. If each person had a message for you what would it be? Everyone is in your life for a reason. They are there to teach you how to love unconditionally. They will mirror both your positive and negative traits. The ones you might not see in yourself. Silently say, "Thank you."

Be merry. Be bright. Shine on!

Please share any thoughts that you have on how to make the holiday season merry and bright!

Do me a favor and nominate The Bold Life for the "Best Personal Development Blog of 2011." Leave in the comment box that your vote is for The Bold Life. Thank you in advance for sharing in my joy! 

Jen from Find Your Harmony is the winner of  the book Uncertainty by Jonathan Fields.

My friend Anastasiya, the founder of Balance In Me is giving away a free ebook today. Click here to visit Balance In Me and get Top 100 Ways to Make Your Life More Balanced.

Image by Chris Sharp

{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }

Cathy | Treatment Talk November 28, 2011 at 11:28 am

Hi Tess,

Wonderful list to get us ready for the holidays as well as life in general. We all can get caught up in the things of the holiday rather than the people. Great reminder to refocus and make the season more joyful! Thanks for sharing.
Cathy | Treatment Talk´s last post…Gratitude This Thanksgiving


Tess November 28, 2011 at 12:05 pm

Hi Cathy,
I was stuck in my family of origin stuff for years when I was young. I finally decided to choose how to spend the holidays rather than do what was expected of me.


Aileen | Kaizen Vision November 28, 2011 at 3:26 pm

“Spend Less Love More” I love this! This post is such great Holiday preparation. I do love the Holiday Season, yet I see it go so awful wrong sometimes. With the right mind set, and intention, we can have a much more magical and wonderful time during the Holidays – and you set our minds right!
Aileen | Kaizen Vision´s last post…Finding Gratitude – How to be Thankful in Difficult Times


Tess November 28, 2011 at 4:19 pm

Yes magical and wonderful…I’m all for it Aileen! Thanks for getting on board and your continued support! xo


Sandra / Always Well Within November 28, 2011 at 4:07 pm

What I love about you, Tess, is that you are really out to love the whole world and to encourage us to do so too. You don’t stop when it gets hard. You go beyond to see the divinity in each person. I liked these suggestions a lot because they really make us stretch ourselves.

“Difficult people need the most love and often get the least. Hold a vision of peace, joy, and happiness for everyone. Be kind to those who are unkind.”

“Be the last person to speak and the first person to listen when you are at holiday gatherings.”

All my love to you this holiday season. Hope you are in the top 50, you deserve it!
Sandra / Always Well Within´s last post…Three Potent Phrases for Transforming Challenging Emotional Patterns


Tess November 28, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Yes and I like stretching however I get sore sometimes;) Thanks for you loving support and all of your kind words. You made my day!


Paige Burkes November 28, 2011 at 4:49 pm

“Each day of the season is a new opportunity to celebrate.” I would like to carry that to each day of the YEAR! These are all awesome ideas to carry with us each day of our lives. So many seem to forget these concepts after the New Year when everyday life kicks back into gear.

Bless you and thank you, Tess, for continuing to shine your light on others!
Paige Burkes´s last post…Mindless Consumption: The Key to Growth?


Tess The Bold Life November 29, 2011 at 6:04 am

Hi Paige,
Yes I would also love to remember to celebrate each day of the year. We all forget now and then. The more we practice the better we get. The point to remember is progress not perfection. Thanks!


Betsy at Zen Mama November 28, 2011 at 6:10 pm

Hi Tess,
For the last few years we have spending less over the holiday season by re-gifting and shopping at 2nd hand stores and ebay. And we also love to give experiences! Keeping the junk at bay! You have a great list of ideas for our loved ones but I also love your ideas for sending love to others that we don’t even know.
Thanks for always sending great ideas our way!
Betsy at Zen Mama´s last post…Some Inspirational Buys And A Zen Mama Give Away!


Tess The Bold LIfe November 29, 2011 at 6:05 am

Hi Betsy,
I love giving experiences as well. My granddaughter wants to go see Wicked. I’m pondering that. Yes we can have a big effect on people we don’t know. Gift giving to the unknown! Isn’t live grand?


Alex Blackwell | The BridgeMaker November 28, 2011 at 6:36 pm

I love, love, love this list Tess because it doesn’t come from a Cyber-Monday website- it comes from the heart!



Tess November 29, 2011 at 6:06 am

Hi Alex,
Thanks…I want to grow my heart as big as yours, Alex! xo


Jen November 28, 2011 at 7:39 pm

Hi Tess,
First off…THANK YOU! I am so happy to have WON the amazing book by Jonathon!
Secondly, thank you for including such practical ways to de-stress and love during a season that has become frantic and anxiety ridden for so many of us.

For my family this year, we are ditching the gifts and going on an adventure. I will be sharing the journey along the way starting Christmas week! For gifts, we are doing a family CD, showcasing all our kids on their instruments and giving them as heartfelt gifts to grandparents. We asked everyone to NOT give us gifts this year. I am surprised how many people have commented about how they “couldn’t do it.”
We shall see. I am hoping love will win, and it will be the best holiday ever…full of memories, and the present of the PRESENCE of family and friends.
Peace and Harmony,
Jen´s last post…Cyber-Monday and BEYOND: Music and Books that make you smile!


Tess November 29, 2011 at 6:07 am

Hi Jen,
Your welcome! I’m sure J. would love a review from you. Continue to be the example you are. We all need reminders. Happy happy!


Lenia November 29, 2011 at 1:07 am

“Spend Less Love More” : I think you dot to the point. Sometimes we totally forget about love…Your post is revolutionary. thank you for sharing.


Tess November 29, 2011 at 6:08 am

Revolutionary? I love that. Thanks for stopping by to tell me how you feel. i appreciate you.


rita singh November 29, 2011 at 7:54 am

what a WONDERFUL GIFT you have PRESENTED us with dear TESS…a kind of a ‘TO DO’ list in life…if we REALLY take your advice and BLESS EVERYONE in our life then our PERSPECTIVES will CHANGE…we can DESTROY even our enemies by BEFRIENDING them…what a BRILLIANT FORMULA ’cause LOVE BEGETS LOVE….it just CANNOT NOT….GENUINE LOVE in the TRUE sense of the word is MORE ‘a GIVING’ of yourself and has nothing to do with spending money on buying gifts…A QUIET and ATTENTIVE ‘LISTENING’…spending REAL QUALITY TIME…REACHING OUT in difficult times…’BEING THERE’ for another when that person needs you…in times of JOY ‘A CELEBRATION’ and in times of distress ‘A STRONG SUPPORT SYSTEM’…comprises of GIVING STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART…..instead of giving expensive gifts ESPECIALLY to people who have it ALL one should apportion a part of that money to give to the less privileged ones…THIS IS NOT ONLY A HOLIDAY LIST BUT AN ‘EVERYDAY LIST’……many many THANKS for ENLIGHTENING US….GOD BLESS…MAY YOUR TRIBE INCREASE……


Tess November 29, 2011 at 8:09 am

You are so kind! I like your idea of an everyday list. I’m all for my tribe increasing. Thanks for holding that vision for me. I’m grateful that you’ve taken the time for you lengthy comment and support.


Megan Bord November 29, 2011 at 7:54 am

Tess, these are such terrific suggestions for how to gift others with love this holiday season. I’ll add (and hopefully follow through on!) being gentle and loving with myself throughout the Christmas season and all of winter, actually. I tend to hold high expectations of who or what I need to be, and if I miss the mark, I’m pretty hard on myself.

I want to gift myself with compassion, and from there, shine like a light for others to see.

Lots of love to you!

PS – I voted for you!


Tess November 29, 2011 at 8:10 am

Penguin steps my dear. We don’t have to be perfect…only loving! Believe me I know how you feel. Winters were especially difficult for me until I moved to AZ. I can’t believe how I used to struggling…looking back. I feel like I’m home. I was misplaced in the Midwest at birth. LOL love ya!


Bryan Thompson November 29, 2011 at 1:01 pm

Great reminder, Tess. And I find that if we put more emphasis on the “love” list than the “shopping” list, we find more creative and endearing ways to show our love to those people. It can make for stronger memories and much more sentiment. By the way, you had a great interview on Stuart’s blog. Hope you’re having a great holiday season.
Bryan Thompson´s last post…Ideas Spread like Viruses and If You Don’t Act Immediately, Someone Else Will


Tess The Bold Life November 29, 2011 at 6:26 pm

Hi Bryan,
Thanks for the compliment on my interview at Unlock the Door. If we put the emphasis on our love list our world would change, hearts would open up and we may get close to peace on earth!


Ken Wert November 29, 2011 at 4:02 pm

What a great list, Tess!

I especially loved this one: “Give yourself permission to shine.” People can be so intimidated by mean or pushy people. Love them anyway. Don;t withhold a part our love for fear of being rejected or ridiculed. What wonderful advice! I also loved the challenge to bless everyone. Every time we hear a siren, my 5 year-old little boy always says, “I hope everything is okay.” If that was the thought we had at the core of our hearts for everyone we met, it would revolutionize how we feel and how we interact with them.

Thanks for another inspiring post, Tess!
Ken Wert´s last post…5 Beliefs that will Radically Change Your Life Forever


Tess The Bold Life November 29, 2011 at 6:27 pm

Hi Ken,
I’m all for revolutionizing how we feel and interact. It seems to me more people are getting on board everyday! Thanks.


Paul Strobl, MBA (@CoachPaulStrobl) November 30, 2011 at 10:40 am

Great tips–I’ll be passing this on to my own family LOL One point I’d like to make, however would be on lowering expectations. The harder thing to do is completely let go of expectations and accept whatever comes. “Lowering” expectations sometimes has us looking for the negatives in others.
Paul Strobl, MBA (@CoachPaulStrobl)´s last post…38 Lessons in 38 Years


Galen Pearl November 30, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Alas, even after vowing to simplify, I ordered gifts online yesterday and still felt the pressure of going down my list and finding something for everyone on it. Still, I have simplified a lot from years past. Having the kids grown helped a lot. Guess I’m still a holiday work in progress. Lovely post.
Galen Pearl´s last post…Spiritual Simplicity


Chris Barba November 30, 2011 at 6:55 pm

Accept the imperfections of others and leave your ego at the door…bingo!

Yup, I want to do a lot more of this! Especially not letting my ego get in the way – stop taking things so personally.

I love your list Tess. This is a truly unique gift for the holiday season.


Karen December 1, 2011 at 8:42 am

You are right about being prepared. Though I feel great and happy, there are times that I let other people ruin my mood. I should accept that once in awhile this will happen and it is up to me not to be affected. I like all your tips, I would need spend time practicing them and I feel that employing them would really make people around me happy and me as well.
Karen´s last post…how to get a girl to like you


Rand December 1, 2011 at 11:41 am

“Be your spiritually mature self.”


Being around your age, I reflected back to the departed souls that were once a *mirror* of my ‘positive’ and ‘negative’ traits. I am *thankful* for them, and appreciate the reminder to let their spirit live within me in the form of my *mature self*.

I am simply thankful for life, and to be *here* to view myself through the eyes of all. And… when I allow for…to be a light onto others by being my mature spiritual self.

The events of our lives, and the life forms…all past and present. May this foundation continually strengthen and mirror a world of wise compassion and universal light.

Thank you :)


Kelly December 7, 2011 at 1:49 am

Hi Miss Tess,
I really admire your very inspiring posts…Lower your expectation—-hope that my expectation to others must be lesser;i have a personality that i will expect more,hope this personality will change;(“HOPE”…
Kelly´s last post…London


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