Good Bye To Guilt by Jerry Jampolsky,M.D.

by Tess


Creative Commons License photo credit: Fool-On-The-Hill

I was a young mom. When I was 34 years old, my daughters were 16, 14 and 12 years old. (twins) Our household was very chaotic. I didn't have inner peace, I certainly wasn't a calm mother!

Around this time, my friend Kay, introduced me to an author, Jerry Jampolsky. His book, "Goodbye to Guilt," was instrumental in the person I am today. You could say I was a "crazy women" looking for a way to become a peaceful mother.

What stood out for me in his book is the following:

"Heaven can be thought of not as a place, but a state of mind. It is the experience of oneness with each other and God, of limitless peace, joy and love."

Then there was a chart:







My copy of the book is worn, the pages are yellow and it has come apart in three places. The front cover has fallen off. 

I still pull it off the shelf for "quick, pick me-up" or when I'm struggling to forgive someone. I would recommend Jerry's book to anyone who wants to become a better person by being more loving. 

I need to warn…you may discover "heaven on earth."

You can purchase this book on Amazon. And I'm not making a dime on it.

Is there a book that has had a big impact on your life?

What are you currently reading?

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    { 31 comments… read them below or add one }

    Davina January 7, 2010 at 10:16 pm

    Hi Tess.
    Have you noticed that when you just let go of the mental chatter that all of those things in that list “just happen” naturally? It’s like they’re there all the time, but when we’re carrying a weight on our shoulders, or guilt as you’ve spoke about, they’re buried. This sounds like an excellent book. I love a book that has that well used look. It makes me want to pick it up and flip through its pages.
    .-= Davina´s last post…Mother Nature Waits for Nobody =-.


    Patty - Why Not Start Now? January 8, 2010 at 12:51 am

    Tess, I love your description of the book: worn, yellowed, falling apart. There’s so much life in the words you write about this tattered book that has been there for you through the ups and downs of life. I have a book like that too. It’s a play, actually – “The Trip to Bountiful.” (Also was a movie with Geraldine Page.) It’s about an old woman trying to get back home. She overcomes many hurdles and does finally get there, and she says, “It’s so eternally quiet. I had forgotten the peace. The quiet. And it’s given me my strength once more. I’ve found my dignity and my strength.” Reading those words always brings me to a place of peace and stillness.
    .-= Patty – Why Not Start Now?´s last post…Old Newsletters and Silt =-.


    Heidi Lyn January 8, 2010 at 5:55 am

    Sounds like an excellent read. Thanks for tip! Being a more loving person is my #1 goal this year.
    .-= Heidi Lyn´s last post…Jump on the Fast Track to Joy =-.


    Karl Staib - Work Happy Now January 8, 2010 at 7:06 am

    Yes! How to Stop Worrying and Start living by Dale Carnegie. There were so many great tools in there that it changed my life. It empowered me to take control of my own thoughts.

    I need to stop by the library and Jerry’s book. Sounds like something I would enjoy a lot. Thanks.
    .-= Karl Staib – Work Happy Now´s last post…Hard, Fun and Beautiful – Little Trooper Edition =-.


    Hayden Tompkins January 8, 2010 at 7:18 am

    I was going to say Viktor Frankl’s “Man’s Search for Meaning” but when I think about the book with the most impact, it is “Ender’s Game” by Orson Scott Card…which is weird because it is a science fiction novel.

    There is something about science fiction and fantasy books that really touch me on a heart level.
    .-= Hayden Tompkins´s last post…Cats! Evil? =-.


    Kristie Ryan January 8, 2010 at 7:46 am

    I’d have to say The Power of Now or The Art of Happiness. I read a lot of fiction, but these two books have really helped change my life. I feel lucky that I was able to discover them early on to change my life and the way I think and live.

    I will DEFINITELY be picking up your recommended book! I love recommendations, especially anything that is life changing :)


    Emily January 8, 2010 at 7:47 am

    Several books have had a huge impact on my life, but the one that pops into my head is one I read late last summer, “Don’t Miss Your Life” by Charlene Ann Baumbich. It helped me get my priorities straightened out.

    I’m currently reading books on developing financial freedom. Not exactly inspirational, but what my DH and I need at this point in our lives.
    .-= Emily´s last post…Instead of TV…In The Winter =-.


    Tess January 8, 2010 at 9:43 am

    Yes, yes but sometimes the inner chatter sticks like velcro! Arrghh! My addiction is books and I’m going to the library these days instead of the bookstore and I have the shakes. Is there rehab for people like us?

    I love those lines. I want eternal quiet now, now when I die;)

    Heidi Lyn,
    Being a more loving person will rock your world and those around you. I can’t imagine anything better than what you’ve chosen.

    I like both of the books you write of as well. What would we do without our inspiring books. My life would be dull!

    “Don’t miss your life,” it doesn’t get any clearer with a title like that! Thanks for the recommendation. It’s so fun to hear what everyone loves to read.

    Victor Frankl’s book has such deep meaning and speaks of the reality of the strength of the human spirit. I think that man is one of the bravest men that ever lived. It should be required reading in high school.


    Caroline January 8, 2010 at 9:51 am

    Don’t you love books like that? The Four Agreements is like that for me. Remembering to use my words wisely…and on the flip side, not taking them personally. Right now I am reading Jan Lundy’s book…”Your Truest Self.” Oh my…it’s waking me up!

    Here is the link to her book:
    .-= Caroline´s last post…Get uncomfortable…and break through =-.


    Jannie Funster January 8, 2010 at 12:07 pm

    What a beautiful-sounding book!! I will look for it today. At 4:15.

    A book that made a big impact on my life – is actually a series that I am currently re-reading with Kelly, 2 chapters a night. We’re now on “On The Banks Of Plum Creek” in the Laura Ingalls Wilder series.

    How the whole series has impacted me is to see the world with open eyes of gratitude for all I have. Their “simple” prairie life makes me grateful for all I often take for granted — running water, electricity, and grocery stores, to name just a few things. The books also leave me with soul impressions of how a simple life is best, and that family, love of keeping the environment clean and God are all-important.

    P.S. I want you to know I’ve been attempting to make an extra effort to be “impeccably groomed,” since reading your post on “60 Ways To Become The Person You Love” the other day. And keeping my car extra-clean!

    You’re making a great difference in my life, Tess. THANK YOU!!

    .-= Jannie Funster´s last post…Funny Typos, “Like A Bord on A Wire,” 14 =-.


    Peggy January 8, 2010 at 12:12 pm

    Hi Tess!

    I have a few books like that…”The Tao of Pooh” by Benjamin Hoff and “The Gift of Change” by Marianne Williamson. Both are dog eared, falling apart, underlined, highlighted, written in, talked back to, and both have been a huge influence on me and have helped me weather many personal storms.

    I’m currently reading “The Power of Now” and while it’s a bit repetitious, the repition is purposeful. “Life is a Verb” is the book that’s been patiently waiting for me, but last night, it really tried to get me to put Echkart Tolle down…

    .-= Peggy´s last post…Five Quotes =-.


    Erin January 8, 2010 at 4:09 pm

    Sounds like a book I would love to read. Just finished The Alchemist, and The Power of Less.

    Currently reading “A Thousand Days in Venice” (it must be the year of 1000), also 1001 Ways to Market and Sell Your Book, and 1000 Vegan Recipes.
    .-= Erin´s last post…The Spirit Within Us =-.


    Wilma Ham January 8, 2010 at 5:45 pm

    Yes, I too have a book I use as a life buoy, I clutch at when I am confused and for me it is ‘love without end’ by Glenda Green. I think we had 7 copies in the end, we kept buying it and we kept lending it out and not getting it back.
    It explains so much and it relates to my head and my heart and that is always good as those two still have their moments together.
    It ties all the other books I have read and am still reading together so that is an extra bonus as well.
    I also love as an equal the ringing cedar series by Vladimir Megre, that series of books is amazign as well.
    AND I loved your book as well Tess, honestly, you became alive for me through that and now you are my best friend for ever :)
    .-= Wilma Ham´s last post…Ann-Marie on Acceptance of What Is So =-.


    gochi January 9, 2010 at 6:49 am

    Hi Tess, I came across your blog while blog hopping. First off, I want to say that WOW you were a young mom. Secondly, I want to congratulate you for finally finding your inner peace despite all the chaos that surrounds you. I don’t have my own family yet, but work + my place + my immediate family + money problems can already be a handful for me. I definitely need to find my own heaven on earth and I hope to go on the same journey you did.

    P.S. Based just on the title, I thought you were recommending a diet book. :P


    Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord January 9, 2010 at 10:06 am

    That sounds like a great book, and I can’t imagine you as anyone other than who you are today. Isn’t that funny?!! Same goes for the person I used to be. I look at her and think, “Wow, really?”

    I just finished reading “The Moses Code” and it was similarly life changing. Or I should say “energy shifting.” The simple mantra of I AM THAT I AM accomplishes for us the same thing as what you mentioned in your post. We are the God we seek, and heaven on earth is all around us right now. We are always as powerful as we need to be, and remember this when we utter the phrase I AM THAT I AM. (There’s more to it than that, and I swear reading the book casts a spell on whoever is holding it. It’s pretty wild!)
    .-= Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s last post…Funny Cookies =-.


    Dawn January 9, 2010 at 10:25 am

    I might have to check it out. Not because I don’t already believe that…I have come a long way the last 10 years to find that kind of peace…I don’t really have guilt, I just don’t have control with my loved ones. ie: mother and husband…and that’s hard.

    I stopped trying to be the perfect mom, or perfect spouse..I’m me, and sometimes we don’t have veggies…sometimes the floor isn’t mopped…sometimes I can be a flake…and I’m ok with all of it…Soon, those around me will be too, because I will surround myself with those who can!!
    .-= Dawn´s last post…My Resolution~Learn to Let Love In =-.


    JACQUI JONES January 9, 2010 at 5:44 pm

    I honestly couldn’t say that there was one single book that changed my life. There have been so many! So many in fact, that I can’t remember them all! (Good job I’m talking about books and not lovers!). I’d probably recommend Kahlil Gibran “The Prophet” to anyone. It covers so many things. Very thought-provoking and expanding. I think books come to us at a time that is right in our life. What may be right for me may not be right for anyone else.
    .-= JACQUI JONES´s last post…Life is just a ride =-.


    suzen January 9, 2010 at 8:37 pm

    Hi Tess! I can relate to your earlier chaos and was a crazy woman right along with you, always looking/wishing for peace and a calm demeanor. I have it now. Now the kids are gone – gee, do ya think…..? Seriously, how many moms in the trenches do you know that have this calm demeanor thing going —- WITHout the prozac?

    I’m so glad you found a book to get you “there” – I think for me it was Wayne Dyer as a touchstone. I had his books on tapes and I’d plug into my walkman and breathe. For the last decade it’s been Eckhart Tolle’s work. I’ll get the one you recommended since I love how you cherished your copy – that is beautiful!

    What I am reading now is “The End of Food” and it is making me re-think everything I eat and shop for – and makes me realize why my grandpa gave up the farm!

    .-= suzen´s last post…Relax – Be the Water =-.


    Robin January 10, 2010 at 1:44 am

    Hi Tess – yes, heaven is indeed a state of mind, and guilt sure is a barrier to attaining it. Shakti Gawain’s Living in the Light was a regular read for me for many years.

    I just want to say thanks, Tess, for being part of my blogging life – I’m closing my blog. I’m sure I’ll still see you around cyberspace. Cheers!
    .-= Robin´s last post…My Last Blog Post =-.


    Walter January 10, 2010 at 10:08 pm

    I am always on the hunt for a good book to read. In fact I have many collection of books that tackles one’s soul. I shall consider this book and I would add this to the books I treasure. :-)
    .-= Walter´s last post…The essence of giving =-.


    Hilary January 11, 2010 at 4:55 am

    Hi Tess .. thanks for that recommendation and those of your commenters – good to know what others are reading. I am not a good reader of books at the moment – except reference books, journals etc .. I have a well thumbed Brewer’s Dicitonary of Phrase and Fable which has been around for nigh on 40 years .. I do have a lot of books here of varying genres. My reading list is rather long .. I’ve been reading parts of various books to my mother – mostly short journeys or chapters .. at least I read!

    Read on and tell us more ..
    Hilary Melton-Butcher
    Positive Letters Inspirational Stories
    .-= Hilary´s last post…Start of weather forecasting, some stats and memories … =-.


    alex - unleash reality January 11, 2010 at 7:13 am

    Tess you LEGEND!!

    Reading this made the hairs on the back of my neck spin in circles and get dizzy.

    guilt is such a big thing and stupid.

    I find it indescribably important to let go of disapproval I have of myself for things that have happened.

    Hope your new years was magic.
    And that all is well.
    Alex –

    p.s. WOW. your first kid at 18?! that’d mean i’d have a 2 year old. yikes.
    .-= alex – unleash reality´s last post…One Decision that Changes Everything =-.


    Jodi at Joy Discovered January 11, 2010 at 9:35 pm

    Hi Tess!
    I love how you describe your best-loved books. It cracks me up that the cover has come off of this one. It’s wonderful that you take it off the shelf when you need a pick-me-up. I love my books and have learned so much from so many of them. I mark them up, take notes, write blogs on them, write journal entries on them–but do you know, when I’m through with them I often never go back!? Isn’t that terrible? The only book that I have consistently gone to for deeper understanding and guidance is Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth.” I’m starting to consult Byron Katie more often, too. I’ll keep your habit in mind the next time I’m stuck on an issue–it’s such a great idea to consult our beloved experts.
    .-= Jodi at Joy Discovered´s last post…Shake Things Up! =-.


    Fatibony January 12, 2010 at 1:54 pm

    It sounds like an interesting book and I have just read a brief synopsis of it. So will be adding it to this months reading list. It seems to say a lot about developing a healthy perception of ourselves.. Thanks for the enlightenment :)
    .-= Fatibony ´s last post…Different Ways to Appreciate Someone =-.


    Tess The Bold Life January 12, 2010 at 2:35 pm

    Hi Caroline,
    The four agreements are the best. They changed my life. Anything of Jan Lundy’s is great as well. Don’t you just love books?

    Yes I love the simplicity of that series. I think one of the lessons of our economy is cutting back on things we don’t need and appreciating what we do have and need.

    I love my impeccably groomed and car clean friend!

    It shouldn’t surprise me that our community reads the same books The Tao of Pooh was so simple and powerful. Mariannes books have me at publication. I have to read them. And Tolle’s book is worn out as well. It’s fun to be on the same path.

    Are you writing a book? Something must be cooking because that book on marketing is pretty fat! I’m on the Power of Less for the second time. I need to clean off my desk the way Leo suggests!

    Wilma, (BFF)
    I haven’t read any of those books…you’re ahead of me, ya know. So I’m stepping off the pedestal and placing you on it. Thanks for the love!

    Thanks for stopping by! That’s funnt a diet book! Yes I know you’ll find inner peace if you take time out of your daily schedule to get it. That’s all you have to do is be still, remain calm and go with the flow! Sounds easy, eh?

    I haven’t read it but want to. I heard it’s scientific…is that true? Hmmm I struggle with those kind. Need to check it out because you’re not the first to recommend it. Are we glad we’ve morphed into new people?

    It sounds like you’re doing great to me? I don’t think any of us have control of others…just the way we think of them. I’m sure that’s what you meant right?

    Oh yes who wouldn’t love the prophet. That came to me when I was raising my children and to this day I remember what he writes about letting go of your kids who aren’t ours in the first place. I agree with the right books coming at us at the right time.

    I’m glad I wan’t the only crazy woman! Although a couple of my kids still do! On September 11, I was reading Wayne Dyer’s book, There’s a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem. Coincicdence, not! And Tolle…I just bought his book on CDs so I can keep getting it!

    Thanks for stopping by…I’m heading over to read your last post! I read her books back in the day as well. 20 years ago!

    According to your blog it doesn’t surprise me! Your wisdom has to come from a life of long learning!

    What a lovely thing to do…read to your mother. I know you’ll treasue these memories for a life time.

    You crack me up! I’m glad you found something on my blog that moved you so. A two year old? Yikes my granddaughter is 15…

    The reason I probably go back to my old ones is I’m not buying new! Simplifing. I love both books you mention. Katie is the best. When out of sorts I go to You Tube and watch her videos.

    Welcome to my blog…enlightenment available at all times. I appreciate you.
    .-= Tess The Bold Life´s last post…Good Bye To Guilt by Jerry Jampolsky,M.D. =-.


    Maryse January 12, 2010 at 3:47 pm

    I read “The Power of Intention” by Wayne Dyer in 2006 and it changed my life. It gave me my power back. It hasn’t been an easy ride but I’m happy and doing the things that make me come alive. Right now I’m reading Caroline Myss’ “Defy Gravity”.
    I’ll be back again.
    Would love it if you had the time to visit my blog: It’s a happy place. Inspiring, that’s my hope. Love,
    .-= Maryse´s last post…The Way Home =-.


    Angelia January 12, 2010 at 3:59 pm

    This says it all for me,“Heaven can be thought of not as a place, but a state of mind. It is the experience of oneness with each other and God, of limitless peace, joy and love.”

    Tess, I am glad you are part of my peace and joy. I love the wisdom I recieve here to live true, and bold.

    Happy Trails!
    .-= Angelia´s last post…It’s a Bloggy Bling Parade! =-.


    Katie West/The Levity Coach January 12, 2010 at 10:31 pm

    Hi Tess!
    for me it was Life’s Companion by Christina Baldwin
    Gosh I carried that everywhere until there was no cover. It was about journaling as a spiritual practice. It has been very formative for me–really beautiful book!

    With peace


    Norma Joy January 13, 2010 at 5:09 am

    I am reading “The pursuit of perfect” by Tal Ben-Shahar, which is actually about how NOT to pursue being perfect if perfectionism is making you unhappy. I love the idea you refer to here, that heaven and peace are states of mind, and we can learn to find them inside ourselves at any time.

    My latest blog post: Juggling With One Arm
    .-= Norma Joy´s last post…Juggling With One Arm =-.


    Tess The Bold Life January 13, 2010 at 5:54 am

    I’m a fan of both Wayne Dyer and Carolynn Myss. It sounds like you’re going in the right direction on your journey. No life is perfect no matter how much changing or spiritual practices are put into use. Keep on keepin on!

    I feel the same way about you and your writing. It’s fun to have all kinds of bloggers that relate to what we say. The bold life wouldn’t be the same without you.

    I read it and have it on my book shelve. It’s one I couldn’t give away. Never! I love journaling;)

    Norma Joy,
    Well thank you. I’m going to check out your blog as well. Heaven is here there is not other place. Heaven is now there is no other time. It’s a choice away in the sense.
    .-= Tess The Bold Life´s last post…Good Bye To Guilt by Jerry Jampolsky,M.D. =-.


    ventrilo server hosting January 21, 2010 at 3:55 pm

    Frankly, this sounds very suspicious to me – a lot of the same ideas are often touted by seriously freaky people, like Scientologists.

    But then, I do think guilt is a very, very unhealthy emotion.

    Especially if you’ve actually done no wrong.


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