Family & Relationships

Endless Summer Memories

Summer is the time when one sheds one's tensions with one's clothes, and the right kind of day is jeweled balm for the battered spirit. A few of those days and you can become drunk with the belief that all's right with the world. ~Ada Louise Huxtable   I've been all over the entire universe ... [Read more]

0 comments

Summer is the time when one sheds one's tensions with one's clothes, and the right kind of day is jeweled balm for the battered spirit. A few of those days and you can become drunk with the belief that all's right with the world.
~Ada Louise Huxtable

 
I've been all over the entire universe to find you. ~
Rumi

Who has not dreamed a world of bliss on a bright, sunny noon like this?  ~William Howitt

What greater thing is there for human souls than to feel that they are joined for life – to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories.  ~George Eliot

Breathless, we flung us on a windy hill, laughed in the sun, and kissed the lovely grass. ~ Rupert Brooke

Sisters is probably the most competitive relationship within the family, but once the sisters are grown, it becomes the strongest relationship. ~Margaret Mead

I wish you all happy summer memories!

Comments are closed today for Link Love! 

CJ Anyasor, from " High Life 2 B "  offers a new free e-book.CJ was featured in the video Car Dancing. He's the guy in the elevator.

Lori Franklin features Tony Single from Trottersville on her blog 
Jane Be Nimble, Front Porch: Dreams, Laughter and Inspiration


My Dad and His Tool Shop

photo credit: The-Lane-Team The following is a guest post from Hulbert Lee, author of "From Bottom Up." If you haven’t already, please make sure you subscribe to his RSS feed or follow him on Twitter. In my mind right now, I’m standing on a broken, cracked sidewalk. I can hear the noisy sounds of the cars zooming back and ... [Read more]

20 comments

Housing
Creative Commons License photo credit: The-Lane-Team

The following is a guest post from Hulbert Lee, author of "From Bottom Up.If you haven’t already, please make sure you subscribe to his RSS feed or follow him on Twitter.

In my mind right now, I’m standing on a broken, cracked sidewalk. I can hear the noisy sounds of the cars zooming back and forth on the main street. It’s always busy and the cars never stop. I see a blue whale. The complete side of the pawn shop wall is a drawing of a blue whale that seems to be swimming deep down in the ocean. It’s not a common site you’d see everyday. Growing up, I’ve always wondered why those people would paint the side of the wall like that. It kind of reminds me of someone buying a used car, getting some paint, and drawing a painting over the car’s frame. 

Across the street from this pawn shop, on the corner, is a fax machine store. It used to be part of my dad’s tool store, until we had to lease it out to other people in order for me and my brother to go to college. It’s no longer part of the corner property, so it’s kind of hard to access. To find my dad’s store, you can’t be in the back or you’d never see it. Instead you’d have to be driving out on the main street. And if you were quick enough, you might be able get a glimpse at a shabby old sign that reads, “Sun’s Tools”.

***

“Hulbert I need you to go to Makita and pick up some tools for a customer. Can you do that for me?” my dad asked. “Yeah, no problem dad,” I told him as I hung up the phone and got the keys to my car. This was great news. Whenever my dad told me to go pick up tools at the manufacturer, this meant that he had made a big sale to a customer, but didn’t have the tool in his shop yet. Basically, the customer would order a tool from my dad, my dad would call me, I’d go pick it up from the manufacturer company, deliver it to my dad, where he would then sell the tool to the customer. The process from leaving my house to getting to the manufacturer company, to getting to my dad’s store, and back to my house takes about 1 and ½ hours. 

The drive, however, seemed longer than expected today. There’s usually so much construction going on. I see a lot of giant trucks on the way, and it always feels sort of weird to squeeze through them driving a little, white Honda CRV and all, but I manage to make it to the back of the manufacturer company. I enter and see these men in their working uniforms. They see a clean shaved, skinny guy wearing a light blue t-shirt and dark blue basketball shorts. They look at me.

“Hi… I’m… here to pick up tools for… Sun’s Tools?”

“Will call for Sun’s Tools!”

I sign the papers. They bring out box filled with tools and close the door. Ugh! These tools are heavy! I manage to carry to box of tools down the steps and load them in back of my car. I drive off and pass the construction area. There happens to be more traffic than usual today, and I wonder if I’m able to get these tools back in time for my dad.

Finally, I get to my dad’s parking lot. I drive over the bumpy asphalt ground and pass through the chain fences. My dad hears the car and walks out. With a big sigh, I get out of my car, open the back door, carry the box out, and set it out on the back table for my dad. He took this box and placed it on the counter inside the store, and walked back out.

“Is there anything else dad?”

“No, that’s it, thanks.”

I was glad I was able to deliver the tools on time before his customer came to get it. It’s always been somewhat of a hassle to make money this way, and I’ve always wondered whether or not it’s all worth it. Day in and day out, I see my dad sitting at table waiting for customers to come in. To pass time, he works on the crossword puzzles in the newspaper or talks with best friend, Tom, an 84-year old Japanese repairman who has been working for my dad for 18 years. He’s retiring this month though. My dad says it’s about time.

There are days where there are customers though; the customers are usually greeted by my dad’s thick accent. We get excited for a moment, but the customers usually leave the store with their hands empty. “Thank you, have a nice day!” my dad would tell them in an enthusiastic voice as they were opening the door to leave. Other times, we get lucky. A few people might come in and buy a couple of drills bits, sandpaper, maybe even some grinding wheels, and a couple of dollars are made. It’s enough money to buy dinner for me and my brother when he gets home.

Dinner is always a nice time we share together. Me, my brother, and my dad sit around at a table and usually we eat takeout like El Polo Loco and a side of steam white rice that my dad makes. Odd combination I know… And although I enjoy writing, verbally, I’m quieter than my dad and my brother. But still, I enjoy hearing their voices. It’s nice to know in a world of strangers, there are people at home who still care about you and want to have a conversation about what went on during your day. This moment that we have together makes the house a little warmer. Today, however, the table is quieter than usual.

“Hulbert,” my dad says.

“Yeah?” I reply.

“You know those tools that you got for me today?”

“Yeah, how did it go?”

“Humph… Well today I was in the store waiting, and these two young guys come in the store.”

“Okay…”

“One of them wants to return a tool to me. He keeps telling me that he wants to return the tool. I tell him directly that he can’t. The tool that he had wasn’t from our store. It was from another one and he would have to return it there.”

“Yeah…”

“But he didn’t leave me alone. He kept wanting to return this tool and I told him no many times. I told him that he would have to go somewhere else, and he kept asking me, where… where? After talking to him for a while, they finally leave. It was then I saw our customer from a distant walking towards the store to get the tool he ordered today.

I got prepared to give it to him and I went to the counter, but the tool was gone.

I stop eating. “What…? What did you do then?”

“I started looking through all the shelves and looked around, but nothing. Then I remembered while I was talking to one of the guys, we were away from the counter.

“You mean…” I pause before I continue, “You think the other guy stole it?”

“Yeah, I think so. I went outside to chase after those two guys. But they were gone.”

“What about the customer who was walked in the store?”

“Well, he came in and asked, ‘Where are my tools?’ I said to him, ‘Sorry… I… I can’t find them.’ I had no choice but had to reorder another set from Makita for him and told him that he had to go pick up the tool there. I thought I could make an 80 dollar profit today, since the tool cost $189 and I was trying to sell it for $269. Instead, we had to order another one and basically lost 120 dollars.”

He made a laugh after he said these words, but I could tell that it wasn’t one of those laughs you make when something’s funny, it was more like one those laughs you make when know you have made a foolish mistake.

I clenched my first, and I gulped. I tried to force out a laugh too to comfort him, but I couldn’t. The only words I could find myself saying to him was, “It’s okay dad. Just try to be more careful next time.”

The next morning, my brother’s still sleeping. Me and my dad wake up early and have coffee and pancakes together at the breakfast table. No words were exchanged between us though. We just sit silently with our heads down eating our breakfast. I decided to turn on the TV; it was better than having awkward silence. I left the remote on the table in front of the TV and went back to the breakfast table. The Call was on – a show about investing and people talking about how money is exchanged in our world. For fifteen minutes, me and my dad watch them engage in conversation that’s filled with vibrant energy, as we slowly eat our pancakes and drink our coffee. I’ve always noticed the good looking business suits these people wear, and the colorful, elegant ties they have on. Suddenly, my dad gets up and walks to the door. He picks up the key, goes to his car, opens the garage door, and drives off for another day at the tool shop.

***

Boldness, to me, isn’t always about facing future danger. To me, it’s about moving on even when we may have a burden of pain inside of us every single day. Life is a constant struggle. You never know what’s going to happen and sometimes, the most unexpected moments can happen to us that carry with it nothing but misfortune. My dad has been working at that tool store for 25 years, around the same time I came into his life. I admire his ability to have worked all these years, even though, deep down, I know how his business is going.

Someday, I’ll have to support my own family.

From the first day my dad started working at that tool shop until the day I delivered those tools for him, I understand that supporting a family isn’t easy. But it’s those small moments that you have with your loved ones that make life worth living, whether this is driving 1 and ½ hours to potentially help them make a sale or drinking coffee for 15 minutes next to them in silence. Knowing that there’s someone willing to do anything for you, just so you can get a chance at life is something that I wish to carry down to my children one day.

But in order to carry on, I’ve learned we can’t be weak when things aren’t going the way we want them to, we can’t stop in our tracks when suddenly face a wall ahead, and we can’t run away from our happiness when somebody else out there wants to steal it away from us; we have to be able to take whatever life throws at us and be able to wake up the next day, walk out that door, and keep on working. That’s what I learned from my dad. I’ve taken a piece of his boldness and put it inside myself to do the best that I can with it, so one day I can give the same opportunities to my children, as he has given to me.

Hulbert Lee is an aspiring writer who writes about the rising stories of influential people over at FromBottomUp.com. He enjoys finding about ways to inspire people and help them out in life. If you haven’t already, please make sure you subscribe to his RSS feed or follow him on Twitter.

Why I Love To Blog

Things I love about blogging: The people I've met  The friends I've made The things I've learned The wisdom gleaned Ideas being born Creativity unleashed The pages read The window into so many lives Doors being opened Touched at soul level The technology learned The support  received Laughing out loud Being brought to tears  A you to ... [Read more]

26 comments

5/365

Things I love about blogging:

The people I've met 

The friends I've made

The things I've learned

The wisdom gleaned

Ideas being born

Creativity unleashed

The pages read

The window into so many lives

Doors being opened

Touched at soul level

The technology learned

The support  received

Laughing out loud

Being brought to tears

 A you to all who have touched my life and made this possible. You mean the world to me! If there is anything I can do for you please contact me.

Today I'd like to invite you to check out my guest posts and meet Dani and Steve at Positively Present and Change Your Thoughts.

   photo credit: kimberlyfaye  Is your primary relationship struggling right along with the economy? Do you worry, stress and fill your free time listening to negative media making it the primary topic in your home? Is the economy killing your sex life? If your answer is yes the following 12 Tips can help you get out of ... [Read more]

19 comments

Is Love in the Cards? (218/365) (064/365) [Explored]
Creative Commons License  
 photo credit: kimberlyfaye 

Is your primary relationship struggling right along with the economy? Do you worry, stress and fill your free time listening to negative media making it the primary topic in your home?

Is the economy killing your sex life?

If your answer is yes the following 12 Tips can help you get out of your slump and in the mood. You may not have control over the stock market but you do have control of the following:

Be Friends. Treat each other like best friends. Smile and show interest in each others lives.  Suggest and plan fun things to do together. Dress up and look good for each other. Smell good as well! When you look good you feel good. You have the power to bring a spark to the relationship and ignite the fire.

Lighten Up. Refuse to take life so seriously. Stop watching the news and quit worrying about the economy. It is what it is. Do something about what is in your control and let go of the rest. Take one day, hour or minute at a time.

Don’t Keep Score. Go the extra mile, again and again and again. One up each other only when it comes to kindness. Learn to recognize when you need to let things go. Surrender. Forgive.

Express Love Often. Look for ways to be loving. Think and speak loving thoughts. Write love notes. Make love. Be the first to initiate loving acts in every area of your lives.

Express Yourself, Heart to Heart. Don’t expect someone to know what you’re thinking. Become an expert at speaking up and listening. Have empathy and compassion for each other.

Create a safe place where expressing oneself is honored. Sit facing each other knees touching, one person talks the other listens. Then reverse it.

 Give each other positive feedback. Use please, thank you, I’m sorry, that’s great, and other uplifting phrases. Memorize them and practice them daily.

Over Look the Small Stuff. We all have things that bug us about the other. Pick up his shoes even though they’re his. Put oil in her car even thought it’s hers. Help each other. Look for opportunities to help each other.

Be Low Maintenance. My husband has always called me low maintenance and a “cheap date” because I don’t  demand a lot of things. I can go withut manicures, pedicures, and the latest and the greatest gadgets and stuff. On special occasions I allow him to treat me. Keep it simple and you’ll have less stress.

Make Him/Her Look Good. Look for opportunities to praise your significant other. Always give them the credit and let others know how great he/she is. They will shine so bright it will reflect back on you. Always speak kindly to and about each other.

Play. Find methods to have fun even when money is scarce. We played cards on a card table (also our kitchen table) when we were young. Any time spent in nature is free. Walk in the rain, hike a mountain, take your bikes and run errands. With a playful attitude even work can be fun.

Be Grateful Together. Together talk about what you are grateful for and how blessed you are. Do this for 10 minutes every evening. It will put you in a sweet slumber.

Let Go of Being “Right.” Ask yourself, In thT Big Picture Is This Really Important?” If not let it go. Refuse to have the last word. Be happy to give it away.

Treasure Each Other. When you treasure each other you both feel valued, important and precious. Tell the other person, “I treasure you!” Your relationship will be strong and healthy. Your focus will be on the positive and what’s right.

How are you keeping the sparks burning in your relationship?

What do you do to keep things positive when your partner is feeling down?

The Power of Apologizing

photo credit: MShades "An apology is the superglue of life.  It can repair just about anything.  ~Lynn Johnston" One way we can begin the new year with a clean slate is to apologize and make amends to someone we've offended. With this simple action we can let go of old issues and the same stories we tell ourselves ... [Read more]

3 comments

Uniqlo t-shirt
Creative Commons License photo credit: MShades

“An apology is the superglue of life.  It can repair just about anything.  ~Lynn Johnston”

One way we can begin the new year with a clean slate is to apologize and make amends to someone we’ve offended. With this simple action we can let go of old issues and the same stories we tell ourselves that continue to haunt and hurt us.

Think of it as an opportunity to have a great impact on your relationships with your family, friends and coworkers.

Because we have all hurt others and know what it’s feels like to be hurt it’s important to be brave enough to offer and receive apologies. Holding grudges, distancing ourselves and wanting revenge is detrimental to our mental and physical health. Offering and accepting apologies is crucial to our well-being.

When we apologize we offer healing and peace of mind to ourselves and the other party involved. Loving relationships require us to make apologizing a habit, a integral part of daily life. For relationships to grow and progress it is essential that we take ownership and correct our errors, blunders and transgressions. Failure to do so will eventually suck the energy out of even the best of relationships.

How to apologize:

1. Be timely, the sooner you apologize the better. However it’s never too late.

2. Empathize by putting yourself in the other persons shoes.

3. Take 100% responsibility for being hurtful, rude or wrong. “I accept responsibility for…”

4. Don’t give excuses. “But I was tired.” An apology with an excuse is not an apology. Anything after ‘but’ is BS!

5. Show respect and sencerity through your words, attitude and the use of  your body language.

6. Express remorse. Say exactly what you did wrong. “I’m sorry I hurt you by not returning your phone call” not “I’m sorry I did that.”  The words “I’m sorry,” begins to rebuild trust.

7. Offer a clear plan for improved behavior. “In the future I will ____________(behavioral change).

8. Remember actions speak louder than words. “What can I do to make it up to you?”

9. Ask for forgiveness. This gives the power back to the other party.

Benefits:
You will feel better.
You will lighten guilt and shame.
You will be less likely to make the same mistake.
You will no longer waste energy being stuck in the past.
The harmed person feels emotional healing.
You will stop the problem from snowballing to something bigger.
You feel free to be vulnerable.
Less likely to repeat the offense.
When we apologize we teach others to do the same

“We can not tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens in us -how we take it, what we do with it- and that is what really counts in the end.-Joseph F. Newton”