Overcome Fear and Claim Your Abundance

southwest airplane

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Do you have the guts to claim your abundance? How many times have you walked away from what was rightfully yours?

My daughter works for Southwest Airlines. As her parent, I can fly standby, free of charge, so long as there is an empty seat on the plane. But there is a pecking order: employees have first dibs, then parents and then those with buddy passes.   

When I want to fly, I have to arrive at the gate two hours early and ask to be put on the standby list. It’s best to be first on the list. 

Ten minutes before the plane leaves, the flight attendant calls out the names on the list and announces who gets a seat. 

A few weeks ago, I was flying from Portland, OR. to Phoenix, AZ. There was a flight leaving at 6:00 am. I arrived at the airport at 3:30 am, allowing plenty of time to get through security and to the gate. 

I was in line with one other parent. I tried to start a conversation with her but she was not interested.

An hour and 50 minutes later, 10 more people were standing in line with us. It was crazy busy and the air was filled with anticipation and anxiety. I had a good feeling about getting on and remained calm.

At the last minute, the other parent looked at me and told me her daughter was having surgery in a couple of days and she was on her way to be with her. She had her fingers crossed. 

Two seconds later, the flight attendant announced there was one empty seat available and called my name. I was on! 

I felt compassion for the woman who didn’t get on the plane. I know the feeling of disappointment from past experience. 

Yesterday, I was flying from Detroit, Michigan to Phoenix, Arizona with Hubs. Again, we arrived early and already there were several people in line for standby. Again, I had a good feeling that we’d both be getting seats. 

There were only three empty seats. Ten minutes before take-off, the flight attendant called Hubs. Then another mother who was traveling with her young son was called. But her son was not. They couldn’t travel together because the third name on the list was mine. 

It was clear they were both upset. The flight attendant explained that she had to follow the order of the list and that her son was after me. 

When the woman decided not to get on the plane without her son, I was assigned the last seat! I cheerfully took it. 

We’ve been flying free and standby for nearly seven years. There have only been a handful of times when we didn’t get on. We know from experience the best times and days to fly. We know what cities to avoid. 

We know how to show up and claim our abundance.

Holding back out of fear 

There are times in life when we hold back and miss out because of fear, guilt or feelings of unworthiness. At the same time, we complain, whine and feel left out or unfairly treated.

How you may be resisting your abundance: 

  • You don’t put yourself first because you feel undeserving or unworthy. 
  • You turn away help and support because you insist on doing things yourself. 
  • You have too many false beliefs: I can’t. I’m afraid. There’s not enough for me.
  • You say “no thank you” when you are offered what you want.
  • You don’t ask for your needs to be met even though others are willing to meet them.
  • You don’t accept compliments or gifts.
  • You take a back seat because you’re afraid of being seen and heard.
  • You turn down a job because you don’t feel qualified.
  • You make excuses about why something can’t be done.
  • You see the cup half empty instead of overflowing.
  • You hold back out of your need for perfection. 

There are infinite possibilities, opportunities and blessings waiting for everyone. Everyone is worthy and deserving. Everyone has the right to flourish. 

How you can step up and claim your good: 

Be bold. Don’t be afraid to go first, stand out or be heard. When an opportunity presents itself, put your name on it. Claim it. 

Be a giver. Help others get what they want. Be kind. Give of your time, talents and money. Never pass up an opportunity to be generous. Givers always gain. 

Don’t be afraid to fail. So what if you make a mistake? So what if you fail. Rise up again. Keep trying. What’s possible for others is possible for you. 

Don’t be afraid of success. Know that things will change as you succeed. You’ll be required to leave behind familiar people, places and things.

Expect good things to happen. Stop imagining the worst. Believe that the best is yet to come. Anticipate your needs being met. 

Be open to receive. Learn to say “yes please!” Go through life with an open heart and open hands. 

Let go of false beliefs. Believe in yourself and your dreams. Do what it takes to think, speak and act in a positive manner. Don’t underestimate your abilities and strengths. 

Release perfection. Get out of your own way. Start where you are and do your best. Let the rest go. You can improve as you go. 

Take responsibility for your life. Be willing to go the extra mile. Stop making excuses. Quit whining and complaining. No matter how difficult it gets, keep going. 

Abundance is everywhere. When you are afraid, muster up a few minutes of courage, face your fear and move beyond it.  That’s where breakthroughs happen. That’s when you notice unlimited good. Each step out of your comfort zone expands your growth, expands your life and expands you abundance. Don’t miss out!

Share you thoughts below.

Please help spread my message by sharing on Twitter and Facebook! I’m forever grateful to all bold life peeps, the wonderful flight attendants and Southwest Airlines!

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Cathy Taughinbaugh July 23, 2013, 1:27 pm

    Hi Tess,

    Great perks with Southwest Airlines. That sounds wonderful. I especially like “Take responsibility for your life.” For me that covers it all. Thanks for the inspiring tips!!

  • Alex Blackwell | The BridgeMaker July 23, 2013, 5:01 pm


    I’m finally learning the lesson that when I open up and surrender, great things come my way. Thanks for sharing your stories of abundance.


  • Suzie Cheel July 23, 2013, 7:16 pm

    Brilliant Tess and Yes I am finally stepping up to claim mine- just got off the phone from getting a brilliant reduction on our car Insurance- . like you I am opening up and surrendering allowing the floodgates to open.
    Love how you fly 🙂
    Big Hugs

  • Evelyn Lim July 24, 2013, 1:46 am

    How lucky you are! It is a wonderful perk that you are getting. I would love to have the chance to travel so often.

    Oh yes, abundance is everywhere. If only we let ourselves open to it. Incidentally, I am stepping up to offer my assistance to those who have difficulties believing in themselves and who are experiencing blocks to financial abundance. I am so looking forward to rendering help in this area!

  • Barbara July 24, 2013, 6:20 am

    Thanks for the list of ways you might be resisting your abundance. There were a few on this list that made think,

  • Fran Sorin July 24, 2013, 11:14 am

    Love your travel stories ~ and that you used them as a metaphor for showing up ‘to yourself and for yourself’. I can identify with more than one of the behaviors you mentioned ~ I am working on catching myself in ‘false beliefs’ – man, that’s a killer.

  • Bryan Thompson July 25, 2013, 12:07 pm

    Hi Tess! It’s been a while! We are counterculturally taught that taking things for ourselves is selfish and wrong. We’re taught if someone offers us something free, we don’t take it. We either are taught not to trust them or to not appear greedy/needy. But I had a talk with a self-made millionaire who owns a multimillion dollar enterprise who shared some “secrets” to wealth-building. One thing he said is, “It’s okay to take what you need. You can’t give to others unless you have something to give.” and “If someone offers you something, you ALWAYS accept. They wouldn’t offer it if they didn’t mean it.”

    I lived in Phoenix for a year (LONG story I’d love to tell you someday) and loved it. Sorry I was never able to connect with you! But I hope you’re well!

  • Nneka, Working Mystic July 25, 2013, 2:03 pm

    “You turn away help and support because you insist on doing things yourself.”

    This seems to be a theme for me. Grrr. I’m changing fast though. I’m learning over and over again to ask for and embrace help. Got it again U:-)

  • Jessica July 26, 2013, 7:30 am

    Getting to the root of your fear will help you to rid yourself of it for good. Great post – love it!!!

  • Corinne Rao July 27, 2013, 7:08 am

    I love reading your posts. They always give me something to work towards and help me realize that I can be bold and take control of my life. Thank you.

  • Emma July 28, 2013, 5:45 pm

    I can really relate to what you’re saying. So much of what we want in life is there for the taking if only we remain open to the possibilities.

  • Leonard Thompson Jr July 31, 2013, 12:07 pm

    When I was reading, I was thinking ” Yeah, I dont think I could have gotten on the plane. I would have felt too much guilt” (more for the lady whose daughter was getting surgery).
    Guilt can be a HUGE barrier to claiming abundance.
    I speak from experience. For most of my life, i have been more “others” oriented rather than “me” oriented in a lot of ways. If i didn’t put others first, I would feel guilty and selfish.
    I still feel this tension between claiming what I deserve in business, and life, and not being selfish and egotistical.

    As always good food for thought.

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