The BridgeMaker: Alex Blackwell

by Tess on October 13, 2010

Today's guest  Alex Blackwell, husband, father, blogger and author is a good friend of mine. He recently asked me to write the forward to his new e-book, How to Love Consciously. I believe the first thing that drew me to Alex was his commitment to his wife and children. He openly writes about his personal stories and struggles and invites you to do the same.


What inspired you to begin your blog, The BridgeMaker?

I started The BridgeMaker in September, 2008 as a creative outlet for my love of writing and to see how I could begin to make a difference in the world, one person at a time. Since launching the blog, I have created a purpose statement, or a “why I blog” statement: To share my heart and to touch the heart of others. 

It is named "The Bridgemaker" because I want the blog to be a place where people can travel from where they are today to where they want to be tomorrow. All of us have the capacity to be “bridgemakers” when we extend our experiences, faith, inspiration, and more important, our love to others.

Briefly tell us about your new e-book and how it would benefit us.

loveConsciouslyAd250 The BridgeMaker: Alex Blackwell

My new eBook, explores the power and joy of love. It gives practical advice for improving relationships, inspiring romance and showing how love can continue to grow over a lifetime (Mary Beth and I have been married for over 25 years and we are still going strong).

"How to Love Consciously," provides eight straight-from-the-heart written chapters for creating lasting love in your life. The eBook is also absolutely free and the best part is the Foreword is written by you – Thanks Tess!

What spiritual practices do you use regularly to “keep the faith?”

For me, “keeping the faith” is acknowledging my past while continuing to move forward. There is a recurrent theme in many of my blog posts that goes something like, “You must acknowledge what you want to change or heal.” So, I keep my faith by knowing I have come a long way. And while I still have a ways to go, my life is full of abundance and love – two things that keep me faithful because they tell me that I am indeed worthy to be loved and to have my heart’s desire.

What about your life will I not find in your bio or on your about page?

You will not find I’m an avid baseball fan. However, living in Kansas City is tough this time of year because I see the other teams in the playoffs and I know the Royals have so far to go. You will not find I love to run and workout. In fact, I’m currently training for a Thanksgiving Day 5K race where I hope to finish in less than 21 minutes. You will not find I have a professional job as a marketing director in the publishing industry. You will not find I love lazy Sunday afternoons lounging on the couch, watching football and sipping a glass of wine.

What is the best advice you would give to couples who want to improve their relationship?

The thing that saved my marriage seven years ago is when I started putting my wife’s needs before my own. This doesn’t mean I don’t I matter in the relationship, it just means when I put effort in ensuring Mary Beth has what she needs to be happy and successful. When I do, I find my needs are naturally met. When both partner’s needs are being met, then things like anxiety, hostility and bitterness leave the relationship. And things like intimacy, friendship and romance enter it.

Is there a defining moment in your life that changed everything?

Yes. While attending a personal development seminar seven years ago, I learned all of the garbage I had been carrying my entire life was costing me the happiness I deserved. Feeling guilty for my brother’s accident; not being able to keep my mother from alcohol; and tormented for wearing eyeglasses and speaking with an impediment as a young boy, had created so much toxic shame that I had lost myself in it. I tossed the bag of garbage that day and reclaimed my dignity; my confidence and discovered self-love. And I haven’t looked back.

What legacy will you leave behind?

The legacy I want to leave behind is for people to know it is okay to be positive and nice. You can have a good job and be nice, too. You can disagree with someone, but still find something positive in the resolution. Life is short and happens quickly. We can either choose to be disappointed with what we have or we can choose to see the goodness in everything around us. I choose to see the goodness. I choose happiness. I choose love. And I hope others will, too.

Alex Blackwell writes for his incredible readers at The BridgeMaker. Be sure to download his free eBook, How to Love Consciously.

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    { 14 comments… read them below or add one }

    Clearly Composed October 13, 2010 at 9:18 am

    I just recently discovered Alex’s blog and it is great to have a peek into the man behind it. Love is a pretty sweet legacy to leave behind. Great questions and I look forward to prowling around the blog and getting the ebook too! :)
    .-= Clearly Composed´s last post… Nutrition Spotlight- Soup =-.


    Dandy October 13, 2010 at 1:49 pm

    Wow, what a great post. I love the idea of tossing out shame and guilt like a bag of garbage and choosing happiness intead. Very inspiring and insightful. Thanks!


    Sandra Lee October 13, 2010 at 3:49 pm

    Tess and Alex,

    This is such an inspiring interview. This line really moved me: “The thing that saved my marriage seven years ago is when I started putting my wife’s needs before my own.” It seems to me that so much fear can come in a relationship when we are worried about getting our own needs met. Shifting the focus to the other person is a profound way to get out of your own ego and your own self and can really help you cultivate love and compassion.

    I was also touched by the legacy your would like to leave – so simple but so powerful.

    Now, I’m going to run off and download the ebook. Thanks so much to both of you.
    .-= Sandra Lee´s last post…My magic potion for knocking anxiety on its head =-.


    Lori October 13, 2010 at 4:49 pm

    Hi Alex,
    Great to learn more about you here. I have to admit I breathed a sigh of relief when you mentioned the casual glass of wine. Ahh…

    I love what you had to say in response to Tess’ awesome line of questioning (great questions, Tess!). I like your style! Keep up the great work, and thanks for your time and honesty here.
    I’m downloading your ebook, looking forward to a great read. :)
    .-= Lori´s last post…Shifting Sand =-.


    Joy October 13, 2010 at 5:41 pm

    Hi Alex,
    Your blog is one I look forward to visiting each me it’s as refreshing as that glass of wine you enjoy..and as encouraging and insightful as listening to a close friend speak..
    You have such a kind and generous manner, you share from your heart..and your love and dedication to your wife and family is such a shining example to me because I haven’t personally experienced that in my own life.. I love your *story* and I love what you share..peace, love, joy, hope..I lead with my heart and not many people understand it’s nice to visit and hear all of the ways you do the’ve touched my heart and encouraged me on my path….thank you for all that you share!


    Betsy at Zen Mama October 13, 2010 at 8:29 pm

    Thanks for featuring Alex, Tess! I just went to his website and really enjoying reading through it.

    Alex, I’m looking forward to reading through your ebook!


    Angela Artemis October 13, 2010 at 9:09 pm

    Tess – you picked one of my favorite people to interview!
    Alex, I really enjoyed the interview and learning even more about you. I like your approach to marriage. I think when we put someone’s needs ahead of ours – they tend to start doing the same for us; which I think creates wonderful relationships. I love your explanation for why you named your blog The Bridgemaker. I now have a beautiful image in my mind of leaving old habits, and useless attachments on one side and walking across the bridge to a brand spanking new life!
    .-= Angela Artemis´s last post…5 Exercises to Tap Into Your Intuitive Genius =-.


    Alex Yong October 13, 2010 at 10:36 pm

    Tess & Alex,

    Three words – truth, sincerity, unique – attract me to your blogs. Both of you are fabulous.

    Though I’ve only come to know both your blogs recently, your articles have already made some positive changes in my life and I thank both of you for all the great inspiring posts. Please keep ‘em coming. I’m sure they too will make an impact to some souls out there.
    .-= Alex Yong´s last post…Go MOH and Make Others Happy Today =-.


    jonathanfigaro October 14, 2010 at 12:45 am

    Great interview. Truly inspiring words. Just keep on keeping on Alex1


    Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord October 14, 2010 at 4:43 am

    Twenty-five years – wow! That’s impressive, and you have a nice calm energy about you, which shines through your words. I think it’s great that you’ve written and are sharing an e-book for free. Such generosity! May everyone, everywhere live the lives they deserve as Divine beings, and may love abound.
    Thank you, Alex, and thank you, Tess!


    The Exception October 14, 2010 at 9:49 am

    Tess – Thank you for another great blog to add to my reader!
    Alex – It is wonderful to know a little more of the person who writes. I am drawn to bridges – they build connection and serve as symbols of the connectedness that exists between each of us and our world at large.
    Thank you


    Tony Single October 15, 2010 at 6:07 am

    Great interview, and a pleasure it is to meet you sir. :)


    Keith October 15, 2010 at 6:48 am

    Tess, thanks for introducing me to Alex!

    Hi Alex, I look forward to viewing your blog. These words you shared, for me, say it all “And while I still have a ways to go, my life is full of abundance and love…” Awesome.


    Alex Blackwell October 15, 2010 at 10:24 am


    Thank you for your warm welcome and encouraging comments. I appreciate the kind words more than you know!

    Tess – you are wonderful! Thanks so much for the opportunity to meet your readers.

    Take care everyone,



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