Today's interview is with Vironika Tugaleva, author of The Love Mindset. She is also a speaker, reformed cynic, people lover, and a very different kind of spiritual teacher. Inspiring and wise beyond her years, Vironika helps people heal their minds and discover their inner strength.
What is a love mindset and why is it important to have one?
We need love to live. We need our minds to know this in order to get it. It is like this for all living things. To make a tree live, you have to know it needs water and sunlight as well as how to get water and sunlight. To make a human being live, you have to know they need love, what love is, and where to get it.
The love mindset is, quite simply, a state of mind that knows these important things. Without this, we starve. The mind separates from the body and goes wandering off to do some other thing like pursue status, while the body and spirit starve.
This is such an important part of our evolution because, without an understanding of what we need and how to get it, we mistreat ourselves and we mistreat each other.
The love mindset is the solution to many modern-day problems, because it outlines what the problem really is. It’s not that we are genetically flawed or behaviourally incapable of curbing our cravings. We are just hungry and desperate.
The love mindset helps us feed that hunger.
Who is your book The Love Mindset written for?
This book is for the modern-day overthinkers. It is for people who are just like I used to be.
I’ve found that there are four central qualities that define the perfect reader of The Love Mindset.
1) Intelligent in a brilliant, fiery way that other people don’t understand
2) Isolated, mentally and/or physically from others
3) Hurt or traumatized in some way they haven’t healed
4) Holding onto a shred of hope.
I have run into these people of all ages, races, and genders. They often believe that they are suffering from being broken or inherently flawed somehow. In reality, they are just suffering from love deprivation.
Why is there an epidemic of fear in our society and how can we find our way out?
Fear is our emotional immune system. Just like our biological immune system protects us from dangerous bacteria, our emotional immune system protects us from dangerous situations.
The trouble is – we don’t know who we are, so how can we know what is dangerous and what isn’t? I used to think that getting up on a stage would kill me. I also thought that the pain from quitting smoking could kill me or the pain of heartache.
When we misunderstand ourselves like this, fear becomes an autoimmune disease. It attacks perfectly healthy experiences by deeming them as dangerous.
To find our way out of this terrible social illness, we need to learn about ourselves. We need to discover how powerful and resilient we really are. We must drop this illusion of pain or discomfort having the capacity to destroy us. We are so, so much stronger than that.
What fears have you faced on your journey? How have they helped you grow?
I used to feel quite alone in all of my struggles, my doubts, my worries. I suspected that there wasn’t anyone like me in the world.
Every time I would put something out there which revealed me as a flawed, imperfect human being who was still learning, I felt like I was doing to drop dead, right then and there.
But I never did. I only realized my strength more and more.
Each time I have allowed myself to just be authentic, let myself be seen, and step into my dreams, I have heard those thoughts which told me to stop, told me I wasn’t strong enough, told me I couldn’t.
Each time I have allowed those thoughts to be, without listening to them, I have realized how strong I’ve always been. I have discovered my inner power by listening to my inner wisdom, not my neurotic mind.
What can we do to help others be more courageous?
Speak less, do more.
We can talk about courage until the dawn breaks. Talking is easy. It is standing in the face of the unknown and taking a step forward which really, truly inspires people.
I think real leaders are people who show others what they’re made of by being examples of what’s possible.
We all know, intuitively, that when something is humanly possible, it is within our reach. And thus, providing these images of possibility to others is, truly, the greatest legacy we can leave in this world
What advice do you have for people who are struggling with healing and happiness?
Let go. Allow what’s already happening to happen.
This is the hardest thing to even conceive of doing. We’re so used to pushing and pushing, going uphill, using pure willpower to get our own way. When we stop doing, we stop moving.
This is how we end up going against the force of life, against change, and against ourselves.
Whatever you need to do in order to feel better is already happening without your will or input.
Listen to your symptoms. Listen to your emotions. Listen to your intuition. Find out what is already taking place and release into it. Surrender control and trust yourself, trust life, trust change.
It is exhausting to be in charge of yourself all the time. And the good news is that you don’t have to be. You’re already programmed to heal and be happy. Trust this and your life will change.
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