change your relationship to fear

How many of your thoughts are fearful? I want you to notice how many times per day you find yourself fearfully obsessing about what might or might not happen in your life. 

Do you worry everyday about your job, children, life partner or your business? Notice what you fear the most and how often you recycle the same fears.

Track your fears in a notebook or on your phone. Become aware of just how fearful you really are.

Living in fear is an addiction. Worrying about the future is worthless. It’s a choice to hang on to fear. It’s what we tend to do when we think we’re unworthy, incapable or unwilling to surrender.

Would you be willing to put the same time, effort and energy into your personal growth, living your dream or helping others?

How would your life be different if you changed your relationship to fear?

Take a few minutes today and get a clear picture of what your world might look like. What would you be doing differently?

Fear steals our energy, our dreams and our opportunities. Fear keeps us stuck in procrastination, projection and a self-made prison. It distorts our past, present and future. Fear is blinding and binding.

It's time to shake things up and change your relationship with fear. Here's how:

1. Dig deep for courage and confidence. Remind yourself of previous brave times. It's time to take the action that you need to make living more enjoyable, adventurous and fun.

2. When you feel better go back to your plan. Stop taking phone calls and stop reading emails. Stop working. Sit with yourself in a quiet space and go within. Breathe. Pray. Meditate. 

3. Tell fear to take a back seat. Nip it in the bud. Don't give it the breathing room to survive. Starve it and allow it to shrink to nothing.

4. Let go of your story. Tell fear, "The End!" Focus on the task or step in front of you. Relax into the moment. That's where life happens.

5. Lean into your fear. Ride it out. It will lead you to your next step, a potential gain, new knowledge or a bigger perspective.

6. Stop making it hard. Change your thoughts and believe! If you want it to be easy, belief that it can be. Don't listen to everything your mind says. Talk back to it.

7. Write down what has gone right in your world for the last 24 hours. We usually focus on a problem or two, and forget all of the good stuff. 

8. Write down what you got right in the last 24 hours. Forgive yourself for what you did wrong or any mistakes you've made. Count your successes. What did you do right? Miracles happen when you shift your perception. 

9. Do something that scares you. Show fear who's the boss. You'll get more confident and stronger. You will grow your courage muscles, spirit and dreams.

10. Bet on yourself. Believe that you'll be able to handle whatever comes up. Know that you can get through anything. Talk yourself out of your fear. Think, speak and act your way to success.

11. Get help. Take a course. Hire a courage coach. Create a plan. You are the inventor. You determind your future. Make it grand!

12. Venture beyond known territories. Visit new places. Make amazing friends. Try something new. Stretch your limits. Widen your comfort zone. Make life exciting. Be courageous. There's a whole new world waiting for you!

Join me at Be Your Best Women's Retreat & Celebration in Portland, Maine with other amazing women! Click here to find out more! 


begin again

We have it in our power to begin again

Tragedy happens. People die. Relationships end. Jobs are lost. Parenting feels like a thankless job. The life you have may not be like you expected it to be.

Pain, loss, setbacks and disappointment are a part of life. You feel paralyzed by fear.

Life isn’t always smooth sailing.

Sometimes, when things get tough and the pain feels unbearable, you only need to take the step in front of you.

Be courageous. Decide to take one step at a time. Move through your fear. Choose to begin again.

One step at a time is enough for the path in front of you to become clear. Eventually the light will shine again. I can promise you that.

Begin again when:

You lose a friend or two. Things change, they move on. You're cut off. Mourn. Make new friends. Begin again.

You lose a job or get laid off. You make a bad investment and you're drowning in debt. Reinvent yourself. Begin again.

You end a relationship or your spouse files for divorce. Your adult children won't speak to you. Forgive everyone.  Include yourself. Begin again.

You fail. You mess up a project. Nobody cares. You lose your time, energy and money. Learn from it. Begin again.

You are angry. You were overcharged. You lost your receipt. The line is long. You're kicking yourself. Let it go. Begin again.

You feel distant from people. You ignore the ones you love. You meet your friends for a drink. One turns into five. Stop drinking. Get help. Begin again.

You get sick. A friend gets cancer. Your pet is aging. A parent dies. You question the meaning of life.  Be kind to yourself. Begin again.

You are exhausted. Your sink is clogged. The car is in the shop. You're behind in your house payments. Make a plan. Begin again.

You gain weight. You're too tired to exercise. You are unmotivated. You're dying inside. Take a deep breath and one tiny step. Begin again.

You cannot quit crying. Your son is on drugs. Your purse is missing. You feel like a failure. You hate life. Reach out. Begin again.

You cannot calm down or get it together. You isolate and sleep too much. You feel like a mess. Make a plan. Begin again.

The difficult times are the very ones that can break us open and help us blossom. ~ Elizabeth Lesser

Here’s how to begin again:

Surround yourself with people who care. Allow yourself to lean on someone. You don’t have to suffer or struggle alone. Receive the kindness that others offer you. Simply say thank you.

Sit in silence. Don’t numb you pain. Get quiet. Let it bubble up. Breathe. Lean into it. Keep breathing. It will pass.

Change your perspective. Replace your fear with love. Commit to love. Love is an attitude. Love is a verb or a way of life. Love is an activity. Participate in it. Your world will change.

Surrender. Don’t hang on to anger. When you feel like you are being unfairly treated or when you feel like you’ve been left behind, surrender. Trust the process.  Life has an ebb and flow. This too shall pass. It always has. It always will.

Take good care of yourself. Go to the gym. Eat right. Get enough sleep. Pamper yourself. In difficult times be your own best friend.

Get help. Find a support group. Hire a coach. See a therapist. You may want someone to help you sort things out. You can’t see the whole picture. You may not know how to start over. Reach out.

Take responsibility. It’s up to you to be strong and keep going. It’s up to you to make a plan. Nobody is coming to save you.

Help others. There is always someone who needs help even more than you do. Being of service will leave you with a natural high. Look around and find someone who needs you.

Find joy and lightness. Look for a reason to smile. Notice beauty everywhere. Take long walks. Watch small children play. There is meaning and beauty to be found even in the midst of pain. 

The wonderful thing about life is that you can begin again anytime you wish. You can wipe the slate clean. Get back on the horse. Carry on. Again. And again. And again. Isn't life grand?

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marc and angel fear quotes

Marc and Angel, a beautiful husband and wife team began their blog Marc and Angel Hack Life in 2006. Ever since they have been inspiring, teaching and coaching thousands of readers with stories of success, love, life and relationships

I had dinner with Marc and Angel last summer and found them as inspiring and authentic as they come across on their blog. I love following them on social media

They continuously post fabulous and fun photos of themselves enjoying life. They never fail to make me smile and wish that they were my next door neighbors!

They have 100 thousand raving fans, 1000 - 100 thousand subscribers, 100 million page views, and growing! 

Their first book, “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently“ is a focused collection of short, concise tips and reflections on the little things that make a huge difference in our daily lives.  It’s available online on Amazon.

Note: And then there were three! From Angel's Facebook page last Thursday: "It wasn't easy… It was amazing. It was magical. It was worth it. Introducing Mac Austin Chernoff. Born Thursday, July 10 at 9:25 pm, 6 lbs 14 oz, 21 inches. We are in LOVE. 

Here are a collection of 16 inspirational Marc and Angel quotes that will inspire you to get over your fear and on with your dream! Don't forget to share them with your friends.

Marc and Angel Quotes

1. Your biggest fears are completely dependent on you for their survival. Marc and Angel 

2. Regardless of fear or actual real world barriers, whenever you want to achieve something, you have to envision it and declare it. You have to keep your eyes open and focused specifically on what you want. It’s simply impossible to hit a target you haven’t declared, or get anywhere worthwhile with your eyes closed and your vision blurred. Marc and Angel

3. Don’t be afraid of facing your fears. They’re not as scary as you think, and they’re not here to stop you. They’re here to let you know that what you want is worth fighting for. Marc and Angel

4. So get up, get out in the stormy weather of the real world, and kick fear as hard as you can right in the teeth.  Do so by staring at it dead in the eyes and then walking right through it into the storm. Let the rain kiss your skin. That’s the first step. Because once you’re wet, you won’t fear the rain anymore. Marc and Angel

5. Failure is not falling down; failure is staying down when you have the choice to get back up. Ultimately, what you need to remember is that you are in competition with one person and one person only – yourself. Your toughest competitor is simply the voices in your head. Marc and Angel

6. You have to stop worrying, wondering, and doubting every step of the way. Laugh at the confusion, live consciously in the moment, and enjoy your life as it unfolds – struggles and all.  You might not end up exactly where you intended to go, but you will eventually arrive precisely where you need to be. Marc and Angel

7. You want to be stretched to the edge of your ability sometimes. It needs to be hard and uncomfortable. That’s how your brain grows. We learn when we’re in our discomfort zone. Marc and Angel

8. Breath by breath, let go of fear, expectation, anger, regret and frustration. Let go of the need for approval too. You don’t need any of it. The world is as we are inside. What we think, we see, and we ultimately become. Marc and Angel 

9. There’s no use in wallowing in negativity. You simply can’t expect victory while planning for defeat. Marc and Angel

10. You need to take small chances every day. It’s the best way to face any problem, crush every fear and overcome life’s greatest challenges. And you get just about as many chances in life as you’re willing to take. So never let your fear decide your future. Marc and Angel

12. Because your obstacles are your opportunities. Obstacles are put in your way to help you determine if what you want is really worth fighting for. ~ Marc and Angel

13. Move forward with gusto. Remember that the extent to which we sometimes allow fear to rule our lives is truly startling and unnecessary. Especially when you consider one very important fact about fear: It’s a total figment of your imagination. Marc and Angel

14. Great challenges make life interesting; overcoming them makes life meaningful. When tomorrow comes, today will be gone forever. In its place will be something that you have left behind. Let it be something worthwhile – something you are thankful for. Marc and Angel

15. When your efforts are met with failure, you know you are on to something; because on the flip-side of that failure is a real, substantial accomplishment that doesn’t come easy. Your failed attempt is simply evidence that you are reaching higher. And “higher” is always the best direction to travel in. ~ Marc and Angel  

16. If you only remember two words from this whole article, let them be: “Stretch” and “Observe.”

Stretch:  As in… stretch yourself. Always push yourself to the edge of your ability, so you can expand it and grow. 

Observe:  As in… observe your mentors and those who are more skilled than you, so you can take notes and emulate them. ~ Marc and Angel

17. Believe that the answers are out there waiting.  Believe that life will surprise you again and again.  Believe that the journey is the destination.  Believe that it’s all worth your while.

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