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Book Review: Fearless The 7 Principles of Peace of Mind

"Just a few years ago, opportunities seemed endless…We felt safe and invulnerable. Today fear is running rampant and our anxieties can come from our unstable economy, war, greed and other rapid changes that are happening all over the world."

With Fearless, Dr. Shoshanna has created a unique guide to understanding how fear works.  Combining the teachings of East and West, including real-life anecdotes and practical exercises, it provides the psychological, spiritual, and practical guidance for attaining a life of growth, fulfillment, creativity, and well-being. No matter what your fears are: fear of love; loss; or confrontation, unemployment, etc. Dr. Shoshanna shows how to convert this constant sense of dread into peace of mind.

                                             

Author: Dr. Brenda Shoshanna has been a practicing psychologist and therapist for over twenty-five years. She is also a relationship expert and has contributed to iVillage, and has appeared frequently on national television (ABC, CBS, NBC, and MSNBC) and print media (Cosmopolitan, Mademoiselle, and Allure).

For more information go to www.Becomingfearless.homestead.com

Fearless is divided into 3 parts, and includes a preface and a epilogue. The book contains 210 pages of powerful wisdom, insights, stories and exercises. By incorporating the creative solutions into your life your fear will lose it's grip and you'll regain your courage.

The first part of the book contains 7 chapters, one for each principle of peace. In each chapter you are taught a principle an how to dissolve the related form of fear and gain courage. Studying the principles and doing the exercises will bring you a sense of safely, well-being and trust.

Each chapter also concludes with a universal truth to be mediated upon, and applied daily.

You will want to keep this book close to use as a daily resource. When fear strikes you can return to the principles to restore your peace of mind and address whatever obstacles life puts in your path.

There is so much meat in this book it's difficult to give you an over view of each chapter or principle. Instead I'm am going to quote or paraphrase some of Barbara's powerful words. I'll leave the new and unique exercises each another treasure, for you the reader to unearth on your own.

Chapter and principle 1: The Courage to Be Who You Are

In this chapter you will unearth your authentic self. "We create masks to meet the masks of others. Then we wonder why we cannot love and why we feel so alone…When you let go of that which is unreal, your authentic self will appear all by itself. The more exercises you do in this book, the more you are planted in the truth of who you are."

Chapter and principle 2: Letting Go of Attachment and Grasping

In this chapter you will learn change is not loss…it is simply change. "Empty hands are precious. When your hands are empty, not grasping, they become supple and available. They can feel, they can touch, reach out to others, give and accept gift in return.Let go of grasping and unhealthy attachment. Open your hands, your mind, your heart."

Chapter and principle 3: Recognizing the Voices Within

What Brenda shares in this chapter really hit hard, "There is nothing wrong with falling down, being wrong, making a fool of yourself. Nothing. Just do it. Take action. Get up. get out, engage with life, and do something. Take one step and then the next, no matter how you feel. Fear will fight you on this. It will tell you to wait, think it over, hide, get ready, prepare postpone–make all the conditions right."

Chapter and principle 4: Finding a Safe Harbor

In this chapter you will learn how to handle the pain in your life and more. "Is is very important to distinguish between healthy, life-giving, constructive challenges and those that arise from attachment to danger, suffering, and harm. Some challenges tear you down, others help you grow upright and strong."

Chapter and principle 5: Blessing Others: Deeds of Love

In this chapter you will get to the root of self-hatred, anger and your shadow, the practice of forgiveness and self-respect and more. "Deeds of love heal wounds and prevent fear from arising. Love is a verb, an action you can take no matter 
your feelings. When you offer deeds of love you are receiving protection against the effects of anger."

Chapter and principle 6: Letting Go of Control and Domination

Here you are introduced to healthy control and so much more. "There is another way in which you can relate to others. You allow yourself to be fully aware that the other is also a person. You make room for her uniqueness. You welcome her difference."

Chapter and principle 7: Discovering Your Perfect Nature: Becoming a Friend

When you become your own friend there is no need to come out on top or be the most beautiful or the most brilliant. You'll learn how to drop rivalry, malice and fear in your relationships. "The battle with others has only been a distraction from the real battle going on within."

Part 2: Becoming Whole

Chapter 8: Finding the Precious Jewel

This chapter is about mindfullness, gratitude, forgiveness and more. "You know how to find the precious jewel of your life. You know who you are and what is needed. You have always known and always will know. No one else can teach you. No one else can hurt you. You are the prize you are seeking, just as you are."

Part 3:  Workshop for Dissolving Fear

The workshop is filled with rich, fresh and powerful exercises. "Given the state of the world there is nothing more important one can do than be dedicated to dissolving fear and cultivating love and peace." Brenda states, "The exercises in this book are simple and enjoyable and more powerful than any weapon you can find. Simple tasks will change your life. Begin today to claim the full beauty and power of who you are."

Epilogue: Living on a New Basis

Brenda discusses God, the gift of peace and more.

Resources, Bibliography and Index

I have read two powerful books this year. This is one of them. For all those who struggle with fear, I ask you to purchase the book and do the exercises. By doing so you will grow exponentially. When that happens everyone in the world benefits.

I am not an affiliate for this product.

I will be gifting the person who leaves the most powerful comment with a copy, of Fearless.

What is your biggest fear? How do you alleviate your fear?

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photo credit: Alan Light

In Bird by Bird, Anne Lamott writes, “Jealousy is such a direct attack on whatever measure of confidence you’ve been able to muster. But if you continue to write, you are probably going to have to deal with it, because some wonderful, dazzling successes are going to happen for some of the most awful, angry, undeserving writers you know—people who are, in other words, not you.” 

It’s no secret the road to blogging success is a strenuous one. It’s easy to get overwhelmed, exhausted and doubt your best efforts.  

Every once in a while we discover a gifted blogger whose writing is so funny, touching or beautiful your heart races, your hands sweat, the earth moves and you’re left breathless.

Tara at Wiseliving is gifted beyond her years, Katie at Momentum Gathering blogs with wild abandon, Sean at Writer Dad gets inside the heads and hearts of all parents. Marianne Williamson’s words spill over with shocking truth.

On a good day I soak up their articles like the warm sunshine on a cool fall day. I savor each insight like it was the last chocolate bar on earth. Their words, ideas and stories make my toes curl, heart swell and soul sparkle and shine. It’s what I call a bloggasm!  

I’m ecstatic to be cast under their magical spells. The finest posts I print out  and tuck them in my journal for further reflection. They stir my own writer genius.

On a bad day, my ego comes out in full force, I relentlessly compare myself to these and other demigods and swear I’ll quit while I’m ahead. Blogging makes me feel as depleted as a marathoner who collapses before crossing the finish line. I’m grateful these moments are far and few between.

My ego questions, “Why can’t I write like that? How did he/she get so great?

Why do I always miss out…blah…blah…blah.”

What causes me to soothe my inner writer and carry on?

Knowing I’m not alone. I don’t know a human that doesn’t experience negativity, jealousy and inadequacy.

 Debbie Ford, a contributing author of, “The Shadow Effect” refers to herself as the “Champion of Shadow Work.” 

In the new book, Ford reminds us to not only pay attention to our shadow side but to our light side as well. Our light shadow includes the positive qualities we’ve buried deep within. For example, we’ve learned to hide qualities like powerful, brilliant, and wise when we become fearful of our own light. Maybe we’ve been told not to brag, or be “full of ourselves.” Or maybe we’ve been accused of being too positive. We dim our light to fit in.

When we admire our colleague’s blogs and think “yes, yes this is brilliant” we are projecting our light shadow. We see their beauty and light in their words because we own our beauty and light in our own writing..

When we feel jealousy, left behind or discouraged by reading other’s blogs we deny their light because we deny our own as well.

I remind myself I’m more than these feelings or emotions. When I read a great blog I remind myself, “I am that.” Unless I have it I can’t see it.

It’s our ego or lower-self that convinces us of the need to stand out, be special and impress others. I don’t experience peace or joy when I write from that space.

When I remember I don’t need to imitate anyone, create a best seller or obtain fame to be a great writer.

We become amazing writers, attract more readers and sell more books by owning our greatness and staying in the present moment. Where I am is perfect for the “Bigger Plan.” When we flip on our own “light” switch miracles happen.

When I first read Marianne’s book, Return to Love, I called hubs at work and stated, “I could’ve written that book!” He replied, “Tess, there is nobody stopping you from picking up your pencil!” Soon after I began writing for a Women’s Magazine which led to, “Flying By the Seat of My Soul.”

We project onto each other universal qualities that belong to everyone.

To get beyond self-doubts, envy or rejection, learn to acknowledge and reclaim your own wisdom, wild abandon and truth.

Drink in the beauty of another without comparing. Comparison is one of the greatest causes of human suffering. It’s self inflicted. It’s my authenticity that will touch the people who can learn from me.

We have the opportunity to unearth the treasures we buried that have been begging to be brought forward and expressed in our writing. 

When we take back our traits of “light,” doors fling open to infinite opportunities for an unimaginable future.

What brilliant bloggers to you admire? What qualities do they reflect for you? Please leave their links in your comments.

photo credit: Alan Light

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