Change Your Life: Get the Fear Out of Here

by Tess


(Source: twogirlsheretohelp, via the-starring-role)

Fear is a wellspring for growth. If the thought of quitting a job, meeting new people, or speaking in public makes you shake in your shoes, you have found a treasure trove. 

These bold living activities are opportunities to change your life and expand your comfort zone. When you do the things you fear to do, you send a message to the world that says, “I’m ready!” 

When you act, the universe responds and matches your actions with support, opportunity and serendipity. Your life will transform as you activate your personal power and share your talents, gifts, and unique self with others. 

The decision to take action becomes a turning point. Turning points are the moments you decide to make change happen. It’s the moment you quit your job, join A.A., end a relationship, get married, move to a new location, or get a degree. 

One of the biggest turning points in my life was when I decided to get counseling. I was 27 years old. I was miserable. I was failing as a wife and mother. I was tired of being miserable. I knew there had to be a better way. 

At the time, I didn’t know that one choice would lead to my own master’s degree in counseling psychology and a private practice. 

At the time, I didn’t realize that the personal growth I committed to would change my life in every way imaginable. I only new I was ready. 

What you can do or think you can do, begin it. For boldness has magic, power, and genius in it. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe  

Don’t allow fear to hold you back from the life that you deserve. Don’t allow fear to rob you of your happiness, passion, and purpose. 

You become fearless by facing your fears. Look fear in the eye and tell it to back off. Say it with power and conviction. Don’t fall for its false messages. Build your courage muscles with persistent and consistent action. 

Don’t fear failure. You’ll live through it. Never back down. Never quit. If you mess up you can try again. If you lose your house you can get an apartment. If you lose your money, you can earn more. If you lose your friend, you can make another. It’s never the end of the world!

We have resources. We have each other. Remember that you are brilliant, talented, and worthy. Remember your purpose and your commitment. Remember that you are strong and capable. 

We are not on this earth to accumulate victories, things, and experiences, but to be whittled and sandpapered until what’s left is who we truly are. This is the only journey that can get us to fearlessness.  ~ Arianna Huffington 

Keep moving in the direction of your best life. Go after it with all of the gusto you can muster. Believe you can do anything and watch what happens. I’ll be cheering for you!

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{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }

Brenda May 6, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Thank you for helping us operate at our highest level!!!


Tess May 7, 2012 at 5:42 am

You’re welcome. Thanks for stopping by!


AJ | OpenPsychic May 6, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Hey Tess! I really love this story! I just decided to begin journalling about what the turning points in my life have been and what my biggest fears are.

My favorite quote in this article (which I feel like tweeting about) is “If you lose your house you can get an apartment. If you lose your money, you can earn more. If you lose your friend, you can make another.”—way to break it down into simple reality!
AJ | OpenPsychic´s last post…What is an Empath?


Tess May 7, 2012 at 5:42 am

Hi AJ,
Journaling is powerful! Very powerful. Good for you for taking action to free yourself and soar. Thanks for your support. Tweet Away!


Betsy at Zen Mama May 7, 2012 at 5:14 am

What a wonderful post! Begin now and don’t fear failure! It was good to read a little of what you went through at 27, too. As I recall, you had a lot on your plate!! Did you life turn around quickly? Or did it take a little while?

Thank you, Tess, for your usual inspiration! I always come away with a message!
Betsy at Zen Mama´s last post…The Ying And Yang of Helping


Tess May 7, 2012 at 5:45 am

Yes I sure did! My 4 daughters were 9, 7, 5 and 5. And I was soooo young. The good thing about being young was I had a lot of energy. With counseling the most difficult part was deciding to go. We wanted to change our crazy household so bad that we drove 45 minutes to the place, paid $50 out of pocket, and hired a sitter.

We got to exercises to practice at our first appointment. It changed the energy in our home within 6 months. That may seem like a long time but it’s not when you thing of the rewards of a calmer family over the years. Thanks for asking Betsy. xo


Shannon Steffen | Human SEO May 7, 2012 at 6:13 am

Thank you so much, Tess! I really needed your post this morning.

My father is going through his first surgery to remove a cancerous tumor on the back of his tongue and my husband is unable to move this morning due to a pinched nerve (we think) in his hip. Add to this that I’m a Fibromyalgia Warrior and I’m currently taking my business to the next level and… behold… fear abound!

I have to remember to keep going and to not let my feelings overrule my dreams and goals. I’ve been through fear so many times before and have triumphed. This is no different.

I must remain focused and let the universe deal with my fears. I must remember the power that exists deep inside my very soul and tap into it to turn those fears into miracles.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Shannon Steffen | Human SEO´s last post…How The SEO Panda Works [Infographic]


Tess May 7, 2012 at 1:11 pm

I’m sending you blessings and good energy. Don’t forget how strong you are and how loved you are. Be gentle with yourself. xo


Paige | simple mindfulness May 7, 2012 at 11:42 am

Being a mom to small children, many things you said here reminded me of the story of The Little Engine That Could. The Little Engine looked at the big mountain that he had to get over and all kinds of fears came up. He kept repeating, “I think I can. I think I can” on his way up the steep slope. There were many doubters since he was such a small engine. Once he made it over the top and overcame all his fears, it was an easy downhill trip.

Having faith that we can make it past our fears is so important. I think I can. I think I can. :)
Paige | simple mindfulness´s last post…Letting Go


Tess May 7, 2012 at 1:13 pm

I think I’m on the downhill trip now;) It is so much easier. However I have so many good memories in spite of the difficulties of our earlier years. It’s true when people say, “You’ll look back on these as the best times of your life.” Sometimes I do.


Susan Gregg May 7, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Aloha Tess,

Early on in my spiritual journey I realized that my fears were road signs that pointed toward my personal freedom. The bigger the fear the greater the freedom was on the other side. I began to walk toward my fears rather than avoiding them. What a difference that made in my life.

My favorite quote about fear is, “We have nothing to fear but fear itself” Winston Churchill.

Thanks for another great post.
With love and aloha,


Tess May 7, 2012 at 1:14 pm

It’s so true isn’t it? And to think we have control of our own freedom is pretty amazing. I like that quote as well! Thanks for stopping by.


Jodi Chapman May 7, 2012 at 10:11 pm

What a great post, Tess! So inspiring and so true!
I am ready to kick my own fear on the butt and soar! So happy to have you on my team! You truly inspire me. XO
Jodi Chapman´s last post…What’s Your Story?


Tess May 8, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Hey Jodi. Thanks and me too!


Stuart - Limitless Believing May 9, 2012 at 7:55 am

Hi Tess, a very strong post here!

I particularly liked the Arianna Huffington quote – I feel that I’ve taken her advice without realising it. I don’t do what I do for results, or to accumulate success after success, experience after experience, whilst making it all about me. Instead, I work because I enjoy it.

Work is not hard for me if I know it’s what I’m truly meant to do :-)

Take care Tess!
Stuart – Limitless Believing´s last post…Throw Off The Shackles And Set Your Imagination Free


Ciara May 9, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Hi Tess I loved this post a reminder to live life to the full. I have a lot of challenging events coming up with the publication of my new book and was starting to ask myself why do I do these things that make me feel sick with nerves. The answer is because it makes me feel alive and it’s what I was born to do! Embracing Fear and Nerves!
Ciara´s last post…Chaos to Control Section 2: Awareness


Christopher Foster May 11, 2012 at 11:52 am

Your words are always very clear and compelling Tess. But what I always find most clear and compelling when I visit your blog is your tangible, victorious, and above all genuine spirit.

You’re an inspiration. Thanks.
Christopher Foster´s last post…Saying “yes” to life — one woman’s inspiring story


Jt Clough | Big Island Dog May 11, 2012 at 11:57 am

A picture can speak a thousand words! The image along with your thoughts gives me yet another boost. I know i can always come to your blog and get that with one of your posts!

KEEP GOING. I’m writing something new. Something to be published and something I’ve created a whole program around. ReVIBE! And “keep going” was an appropriate boost this morning!

Jt Clough | Big Island Dog´s last post…Ulitmate Success is All in Your Head


Debi @MysticPassage May 12, 2012 at 6:36 am

As a recovering perfectionist, fear of failure kept my paralyzed in a lot of areas for a long time. If I couldn’t learn enough to do it right the first time, I was somehow letting myself and others down. I realized I missed a lot of opportunities in my life and now that I’m over 50, I’m getting a grasp on the fact that every mistake can be a learning experience and that mistakes are OK and welcome. I keep reminding myself that inventors don’t usually get it right the first time and that trial and error are good things that help us get it “just right”.
Debi @MysticPassage´s last post…Thanks, Mom


Nikky44 May 13, 2012 at 6:04 am

“I was tired of being miserable. I knew there had to be a better way. ” I think I have to read this every single day, many times a day, maybe that would help the change i so need
Nikky44´s last post…That’s Nothing…


Lynn Hess May 14, 2012 at 7:55 am

Every big and scary decision I have ever made (usually after too much agonizing!) has ended up being the right one and bringing me to a better place and a truer self. Thanks for the reminder that the road will ALWAYS rise to meet us!

And I love that quote from Arianna Huffington…hadn’t heard that one before. So true!


Emma May 14, 2012 at 1:51 pm

I just did two things that fear had prevented me from doing in the past. I have no resolution to either one but I got the ball rolling on both. I then read your great article. I could smile as I read it because i had already moved forward on a couple important things.

Thanks for your encouragement.




Ali January 31, 2013 at 12:59 pm

I have this fear dat don’t let me go for what I want to do it holds me back from a lot of things I feel dat I’f I don’t work on takin this feat away I’m never gonna go nowhere n be stock u said some good things but wut would b a good step to start this n get this feeling go away?


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