Photographer: Arvind Balaraman
We often take the people closest to us for granted. We put high expectations and demands on friends, family and coworkers. We become arrogant and impatient and forget to use the manners we were taught in preschool!
For me this process gets even worse when I'm under stress! Today I'm writing this as a reminder for myself and thought you may be able to relate as well.
Sandra from Always Well Within states, "Take time to establish your motivation each day – the wish to help and the desire not to harm. For example, every morning make a conscious heart-felt aspiration to help and not to harm in all that you do that day."
Sandra sums up in those two sentences how to live a life of happiness and meaning.
Use the powerful and positive phrases below to increase your joy.
Instead of expecting and demanding things from others use the word please. You'll find others eager and willing to help you. Say please when making both large and small requests. We never out grow the need to be kind.
2. Thank you
People feel appreciated and want to do more for you when you say, thank you. When thanks is not expressed your kind deed or words feel taken for granted leaving you disappointed.
3. You're welcome.
When you use the phrase your welcome, it tells the other person you heard and accepted their gratitude. I am happy to help. Smile and say your welcome with joy.
4. I am wrong.
When you make a mistake take 100% responsibility for it. Make your apology timely and allow the words to come from your heart. This simple phrase creates an opening for healing. We are perfectly imperfect, we all make mistakes. You will discover a profound change in yourself when you can allow yourself to be vulnerable and humble.
5. You betcha.
Exactly! This statement lets the other person know you are in agreement. It's a statement of certainly that says, "You are absolutely right about that."
6. I love you.
Declare your love for others clearly, with honesty and often. Miracles and healing come from love. Be sincere and come from the heart. Maya Angelou believes, I love you are three of the most important words in the English language.
7. I trust you
Trust is developed by experience. When someone tells the truth and keeps their promises trust is established. Listen to others talk. Then listen more. Be the last to speak. People will respect you. befriend you and want to partner with you.
8. I'm proud of you.
Do you remember when you were a child learning to swim? You would leap off the side of the pool in the shallow end and scream to a parent or grandparent "watch me, watch me." Children look for recognition. It propels them forward to try better and more daring things.
Adults are no different, we like recognition. Notice the achievements big and small of your coworkers, friends and family members. There is a kid in us that is saying, "watch me, watch me." Saying I'm proud of you promotes more growth. It also takes you out of envy and into joy.
9. I'm sorry.
It washes away anger, pain and resentment. Sincerely stated, I'm sorry, helps the other person move into forgiveness. These three words offer the possibility of moving the relationship forward in a loving matter. They are also used to benefit others: I'm sorry you didn't get the raise, I'm sorry for your loss, I'm sorry I couldn't attend your party.
10. I care about you.
I'm here for you. I care about what happens to you. Let me know everything is OK. People thrive when they know they are cared for and loved.
11. I support you.
I've got your back. Be there for others in good times and bad times. Ask, "How can I help you." Supporting others creates love, unity and comfort. It nurtures the spirit.
13. I respect you.
Show respect and interest in others by talking less and listening more. Let them know that you hold them in high regard. Respect their right to be different and think differently than you do. It's an honor to bestow respect on the people in your life.
14. I need you.
Everyone needs to feel needed. Our culture teaches us we're better than people with low-paying jobs. We are interconnected. Try living without clean restrooms in an airport or hotel room, the janitor in your office building, the bus driver who takes your children to school, or a dishwasher in a restaurant.
I need you tells makes others feel important and worthwhile. When we tell others we need them, it raises them to a new level. They feel good and want to do more for you.
15. You can do it.
When you are filled with fear and hesitant about your next step is there anything better than being encouraged with, "You can do it?" It reminds me of the Dr. Seuss book, Oh, the Places You'll Go, "You're off to Great Places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So…get on your way!"
16. I believe in you.
Telling someone you believe in them is an energy boost more powerful than five energy drinks. Richard DeVos, one of the wealthiest men in the world states, "The most powerful force in the world is the will of people who believe in themselves."
Using these small phrases will have a profound effect on all of your relationships. They lead everyone to more self growth, discovery and joy.
My friend Karl at Work Happy Now has an article on respect I think you'll enjoy!
What powerful little phrase would you like to add to the list?