Are you ready to free yourself from the idea of rejection for good? Sounds crazy, doesn’t it?
Everyone experiences rejection, including you, me, Bill Gates, President Obama and Oprah Winfrey. Maybe you didn’t get the job, a date or the answer you wanted.
Unless you understand the power you have over rejection and learn to use it, you’ll continue to cheat yourself out of grand adventures and awesome opportunities throughout your lifetime out of fear of being rejected.
Without knowledge and a plan of action you can easily feel devastated, dejected and undesirable. Seek out rejection. When you do understand it, a whole new world opens up for you.
You feel unstoppable and undefeatable. You live a bold life!
Like Oprah Winfrey put it so eloquently, “I don’t want anyone who doesn’t want me.”
Rejection is a lie, an illusion and a story that only exists in your mind. It steals your future.
It’s hard to believe that the best is yet to come when you turn down possibilities and opportunities to do great things out of fear of rejection.
We cause our own pain by re-living and re-experiencing the story of rejection in our minds and in the stories we make up and tell others.
We believe our own stories! We blame ourselves, whine about our inadequacies and beat ourselves up relentlessly. We put up walls and crawl into deep holes of depression. This only deepens the pain we cause ourselves.
I no longer take rejection personally. Yes it can still sting but I don’t allow it to take me into a negative story of fear or a pity party. And I certainly don’t allow it to stop me from savoring and living each moment of my life out loud in vivid and living color!
Here are some things you can do to avoid the fear and rut of rejection.
Remember who you are. You are a magnificent being. You are worthy and lovable. You are strong and resilient. You can get through anything that feels like rejection. Nothing and nobody can change these facts.
You can’t see the big picture. You don’t get turned down because you weren’t good enough. You got turned down due to the circumstances, the position or the timing. It’s not about you. You have no idea what’s really going on.
Everyone has the privilege to choose and to say no. Remind yourself that it’s not about you! Don’t take it personally. Making choices means just that – it’s a choice made by another person. It’s not a rejection. Think about the numerous people and things you turn down each time you make a choice.
Invent an exciting life. We are all inventors. Train yourself to believe that there is something better for you. Watch your negative self-talk after you’re rejected. Adopt the mantra, “Oh well, so what, this or something better!”
Choose to feel good. The “no” word can throw you off your center. Give yourself a break. Take a nap, go for a walk or listen to music. Change your emotional state. Practice this often.
Don’t block solutions. Don’t over-analyze it, don’t worry about what others think, don’t dwell on it. Ruminating on rejection is a waste of time and energy.
Use rejection as an opportunity to grow. You are stronger, wiser and tougher. Look for the lesson in the situation. What can you learn or do differently next time? Remain optimistic.
Soothe your emotional pain. Stay in the present moment. Stay out of the pain of the past or fear of the future. Relax. Take a time out, regroup, refresh and renew. Breathe. Smile.
Ask repeatedly. Ask often. Think of rejection as an effort instead of failure. When you shift your perception it gives you the momentum to keep asking. When someone tells you “no”, nothing has changed. You’re in the same position you were in before you asked.
Seek out rejection. When you dare to do the unthinkable, when you have big dreams, when you live on the edge, you will be rejected more often. For every “no” you receive, you’re closer to your “yes”. Look for your next chance. It just might be your “yes”. It’s as simple as that.
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photo image: Sira Anamwong