Delays, Detours and Dreams: Oh My!

by Tess

detour

Guest post from Joanna Warwick

Nothing makes me feel more stuck and frustrated than delays.

Delays don’t have to mean you won’t achieve your goals but, sometimes, to achieve the end goal, you must have a detour, to experience something you need to learn, to help you get where you want to be.

A few months ago I went on a great snowboarding holiday, but when travelling home I got stuck in a series of events that had nothing to do with me, starting with missing the flight.

I just wanted to get home, but instead I had to sit in traffic for hours on a crowded bus, and then wait around for hours for another flight now having to be redirected to Birmingham, then endure a five-hour train journey to where I had originally parked my car, and then a two-hour drive to my home in Cornwall.

My journey went from an easy four hours to a frustrating fourteen hours, and added an extra £350 to my costs.

I could have seen it as my punishment for having a good time – and honestly this is something I may have believed in the past.

Life’s Resilience Tests

Instead, I just saw it as a test of my resilience: how I can cope with life’s winding path and not being in control. Actually, it turned out to be a bit of an adventure as I met some really nice people, was inspired by randomly meeting a very successful creative business entrepreneur, and even met a guy I went on a couple of fun dates with afterwards.

In the end, my travel insurance covered most of my costs and so, overall, I gained more than I lost.

With hindsight, I can make sense of it and know how it panned out – which I couldn’t see when I was in the situation. All I could do then was trust that I would get home eventually.

When it came to launching my new business/ blog site, I was again faced with delays that were out of my hands. Some were due to other people, some due to technical issues, and none were mine to resolve.

The way I coped with it demonstrated how much I have changed. How much more confident, stronger and calmer I am than I used to be. I was able to roll with it, not get stressed out, and let things sort themselves out – and, of course, everything got resolved in time.

These small reminders and tests are all part of a life lesson I’ve had to learn the hard and painful way.

I fell deeply in love nearly four years ago, but deep down I knew I wasn’t ready for what that meant.

My fears made me stubborn, so I tried my hardest to be ready and, the more I pushed to make it happen, the more we couldn’t connect, the further and further apart we became. The more I fought, the worse the situation got, and more painful it became.

The timing just wasn’t right.

I tried really hard to ignore it, because I was scared I would lose out if I didn’t hold on tightly; I was scared I would miss out on love!

It felt as if I was fighting tooth and nail against life and the universe; a mighty heavyweight opponent. I became utterly exhausted, as if I had been paddling upstream, or against the current. When I finally was too tired to fight any more, I gave in and accepted I wasn’t in control.

For a long time I believed it was because I wasn’t good enough and I was making mistakes and this was my punishment. Now, safely out on the other side of the struggle, I know the truth.

My heart’s desire was right; I just wasn’t ready to live it yet…

Gradually my life began to change and I began to see my dreams unfold, one small step at a time. As I grew stronger and more confident, my trust and patience grew also.

My journey since then, as with my whole life, has been full of detours.

Sometimes I didn’t want to take those detours; it felt as if I was being pushed and shoved by a greater force. Oh, how I resisted, and hurt and bruised myself in the process: now, I understand it was all for my own good.

Slowly I began to reconnect with my faith ~ faith in the knowledge that I am loved.

I may not have liked it or enjoyed it, but every push, shove, detour, diversion or delay was a demonstration of tough and soft love by life, the universe, by love itself, to make me ready for my dreams and guide me to my future and all that is waiting for me.

Yes, have dreams and goals, follow your heart, take action where you can, believe and really go for what you want.

When you find that life is getting in your way though, blocking your path, slowing you down or diverting you, remember it is not about rejection, punishment or even abandonment; it is simply life loving you.

Life is trying to guide you.

Yes you are worthy of your dreams and yes you may think you are ready to achieve them. However life knows better and this is life’s way of showing you you’re just not quite ready yet, but you will be…

As every good comic knows timing is everything, but in life we have little control over that. So just find a little faith, let go of your fears and trust that it will all work out in good time, just as it is meant to.

Bio: Jo Warwick is a writer, healer and believer in the magic of life…

Do you want to fall in love with life again? Discover how to bring freedom, fun, excitement, joy and love back into your life. Visit Rediscover the Magic: download for FREE  Tess Marshall’s interview part of the guest expert interview collection.

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{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

Elle May 6, 2013 at 4:36 am

I’m a lover of detours ever since I discovered that when a detour occurred as I drove I often found myself driving along lovely roads I’d never experienced before and I decided why couldn’t life be like that. Detours taking me to where I was headed, just down a more beautiful path.

Enjoyed reading this Jo and thanks to Tess for sharing you.

Love Elle
xoxo
Elle´s last post…Help…I Can’t Stop My Negative Thoughts.

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Jo Warwick May 6, 2013 at 4:52 am

Thanks Elle – once seen as enemies now I am also a lover of detours. One of my greatest pleasures when I have the time is to go and get lost .. and see where I end up :) Jo x

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Debbie May 6, 2013 at 11:58 am

I like this Jo. Life is a journey and when we learn ‘like you say and give up the control’ we can find ourselves on a wonderful road full of beautiful experiences.

Life does guide us in the right direction when we let it. Thank you for the reminder and I am glad that you made it home safe.
Debbie´s last post…12 Reasons Why I Am Not Sharing My Booty With You Tonight

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Jo Warwick May 7, 2013 at 5:43 am

Hi Debbie,
Thanks for the comment – I think your so right the key is ~ when we let it!
Jo x

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David Stevens May 6, 2013 at 5:08 pm

Hi Ladies,
Detours are the fun part of Life. You never know what pleasant surprises await you. I believe that “detours” are often the flexibility that we need in our sometime rigid life. Thankyou.
Be good to yourselves
David
Life Coach. Listener. Solution Finder.
David Stevens´s last post…9 outstanding Life “rules” to live and learn by

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Jo Warwick May 7, 2013 at 5:46 am

Hey David,
Thanks for the comment. Loved this yes – FUN is the important bit and that comes form being a little scared, not in control and above all open to the surprise like being on a rollercoaster …unfortunately our historic early and basic fears can get a little in the way sometime and when we remember that we can be bold, free and curious as happy children life becomes a playground… thanks Jo x

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Cathy Taughinbaugh May 6, 2013 at 9:54 pm

Hi Jo and Tess,

Detours can be annoying and they can also be interesting, depending on where you end up. It can turn into an adventure of sorts. I learned from teaching to always have a Plan B ready in your back pocket as you never know when you will need it. Take care!

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Jo Warwick May 7, 2013 at 5:48 am

Hey Kathy,
Thanks for the comment. Yes a plan C , D , E & F can help too :-)
Jox

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Emily May 7, 2013 at 4:50 am

I’ve realized so much that a lot of life has to do with the detours and the derailments that we’ve taken. But, that’s where the most fun is! (Mama always told me not to look into the eyes of the sun…) I like to call it wandering aimless with direction.
Emily´s last post…The Breath of Life + MORE

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Jo Warwick May 7, 2013 at 5:50 am

Hey Emily, Loved that -beautiful expression.. thank you for sharing… it truly captures the essence of being in flow and having desire without clinging attachment..:-)
Thanks
Jox

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Bill Apablasa May 7, 2013 at 7:16 am

Jo,

This line of yours…

“I may not have liked it or enjoyed it, but every push, shove, detour, diversion or delay was a demonstration of tough and soft love by life, the universe, by love itself, to make me ready for my dreams and guide me to my future and all that is waiting for me.”

…priceless.

What an empowering way to look at life. Thanks for a wonderful article.

Bill

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Jo Warwick May 8, 2013 at 10:05 am

Hey Bill, Thank you :-)

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Miss Britt May 8, 2013 at 8:31 am

Delays are harder for me than detours. I get impatient when it feels like I’m not moving! That’s definitely when I have to practice trusting in timing and destiny.
Miss Britt´s last post…Actually, You Do NOT Have to Love Yourself to Be Loved By Others

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Jo Warwick May 8, 2013 at 10:06 am

Hey Miss Britt, Yeah that being stuck feeling is hard and delays can really push that button of being powerless..thanks for commenting :-)
x

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Anne-Sophie May 8, 2013 at 11:45 am

This is a very timely post for me. Everything you say is true, but it’s so hard to realize it and to go with it. Patience is key, I guess and trust, trust that everything’s as it’s supposed to be! The universe knows best and we just have to continue on our way believing that we’ll get what we want.
Anne-Sophie´s last post…028 Your Life Your Success – Living a Location Independent Life with Natalie Sisson

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jo wariwck May 9, 2013 at 5:11 am

Hey Anne-Sophie, Thanks for sharing. I find it helps to keep reminding myself that love is an act and that one way to demonstrate it to ourselves and the life/universe etc is to trust and believe. If we are loved, and of course we are then it is also being demonstrated back to us with each little step – unconditionally…Jox

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Gabrielle May 10, 2013 at 10:08 pm

Thank you for the wonderful article. It’s important to remember that we are all loved. However, it is difficult to let go of your fears and sometimes simply trust. Rely on you deep down gut feeling. Thanks again for sharing.

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Sebastian Aiden Daniels May 14, 2013 at 4:13 pm

Thank you for this post. I think it is fascinating how when we look back we can see how the timing for everything was meant to be, yet in the moment we don’t understand anything. We need to learn to let go of expectations and just do what we got to do and enjoy the ride. Easier said than done, but something worth striving for.

I enjoyed reading this.
Sebastian Aiden Daniels´s last post…Traumatic Childhood! How it affects a person and how to heal from it! Part 2.

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