Life Lessons for My Younger Self

Abubakar Jamil, has invited me to write about “Life Lessons” or what I wish I knew when I was younger. Because we can only do better when we know better, I have no regrets. I see my life as a continuous adventure in learning how to be a more loving person. That’s all that really matters.

01

1. It’s OK to put yourself first.

I wish I knew I was the most important person in my world. I wish I knew I was deserving of love. My friends were shame and guilt. Today I know that I can only love others as much as I love myself. Guilt and shame are a waste of energy. Today I believe, I am enough, I do enough, and I have enough.

"I am a powerful loving person and I count. I have a Divine legacy. I choose to acknowledge my value."

2. Not fitting in is a good thing.

Growing up it was painful being different but it made me stronger. Today I wouldn’t have it any other way. I didn't have the same beliefs as my family-of-orign. I questioned everything. Today I appreciate my unique self.

"I am living the life I was destined for. I fearlessly walk through life daring to go against the crowd."

3. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Growing up with six beautiful sisters it was difficult not to compare my short curvy body to their lean and tall bodies and my scraggly thin and fine hair to their long and lush locks. Their hand-me-downs were ill fitting and gave me an unkempt look. My self-image suffered! 

"Devaluing myself creates a nagging discontent about what's wrong with me and my life. I choose to acknowledge my value."  

 

LOVE

4. People who hurt others are hurting.

I didn’t know when I was young that bullies weren’t as tough as they seemed to be. Put downs were about others and had nothing to do with me. Today I internalize love nothing else matters. I believe today my safety lies in my defenselessness.

It's easy to fall into who is right and who is wrong. It's easy to get sucked into the political arena. I remind myself we are all one. If I'm unhappy with someone who is running for office, I am unhappy with myself.

"We are all one. It impossible to reject people unless you believe a story about them."

5. I have ADHD. 

My impulsivity and hyperactivity were out of control. I was misunderstood and troubled through no fault of my own. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get my act together. I’ll never forget my first therapist who said, “This isn’t your fault!” I sobbed! Some people are against medication. I am one who is not, and am not afraid to say so.

"What is right for me may be wrong for you. What is wrong for you may be right for me. Nothing is more important than I feel good." 

Personal Data.

6. I am capable.

I never thought I was smart enough. Living on the farm work was our No. 1 priority, studies came second. Unfortunately the work was never finished and my grades suffered. 
 

In my early twenties a friend advised me to attend college. It took 9 years to get my undergraduate degree while raising four daughters. While they were in high school I attained my Masters Degree in counseling psychology.

"I know what I want, I know what is available. I'm excited about the bright future I'm creating for myself."

7. It’s a wonderful world.

My father was very fearful man. If I had ten children and two full time jobs I’m sure I would’ve been as well! I grew up in the shadow of his fear. For years I was also afraid. Then I learned a better way. Now I know fear is a choice or better yet an illusion.

"I feel a peculiar sense of excitement, appreciation…mixed strangely with excitement and peace as if something amazing is about to happen."

8. I am wise.

As a result of my troubled childhood I gained strength, insight and wisdom. When I was in my late 30’s family and friends sought my advice. They openly shared what a beautiful and wise person I’d become. They encouraged me to write my stories and wisdom down. My book, “Flying by the Seat of My Soul” is the result of that advice.

"I have a Divine assignment. Others need what I have. I am unlimited, vibrant, empowered and creative."  

9. I am a "good enough" parent. As a young parent I made many mistakes. However, we began seeing a therapist in our late twenties. We hired a child sitter, drove forty-five minutes to his office, and $50 per hour, out of pocket. My faimily is my passion.

We took parenting classes when the girls were young and again when they were teens. I can look back and say we did our best. We are imperfectly perfect.

"Like my parents I don't owe my children perfection, only good enough."
 
10. I wish I knew I’d live happily ever after.

I met hubs when I was nearly sixteen years old. We married when I was pregnant and seventeen. We were the parents of four little girls when I was twenty-two. January 14th, 2011 will be our thirty-ninth wedding anniversary. One may think I’d regret getting pregnant. I think it was the best thing that ever happened to me! My oldest daughter would agree. 

hair raising experience


"I create an inner haven of safety and peace in all of my relationships. The quality and energy of my relationships is up to me, determined by the ways that I love and respect myself."

Creative Commons License photo credit: Patrick Hoesly
Creative Commons License photo credit: Nina Matthews Photography
Creative Commons License photo credit: highwaycharlie
Creative Commons License photo credit: Xhanatos     

Is there something you wished you knew when you were younger?

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Tony Teegarden August 15, 2010, 11:39 am

    4. People who hurt others are hurting.

    Such a strong statement that resonates. I wish I would have been more compassionate with these people (as I do make effort to do today) in the past.

    Strong list, very concise yet very warm & intimate.

    Yes it IS completely ok to put yourself first. Each topic could stand on it’s own however I feel this one resonates the most with me.

    Thank you for sharing. 🙂
    .-= Tony Teegarden´s last post…The My Guide to Finding What You Love To Do And Getting Paid For It =-.

  • Farnoosh August 15, 2010, 11:47 am

    Tess, you brave strong wise woman! Thank you for writing and sharing all of this wisdom with us. I am touched and amazed by your determination to raise a large family and tend to probably a million things while attending college! My mom finished her college degree with me and my brother and I am SO proud of her. And everything about others hurting, being our own self, and LOVING ourselves, so perfect. Thank you for doing the life lesson series. I am working with Abubakar on the ebook and we are going to love using some of your beautiful writing as quotes.
    .-= Farnoosh´s last post…A Movie Contest- Why do You Love your Favorite Film =-.

  • Abubakar Jamil August 15, 2010, 1:01 pm

    Touching post.

    I am grateful for your awesome contribution to the Life Lessons Series.

    Thank you Tess.

  • Tess August 15, 2010, 2:58 pm

    Tony,
    Thanks so much for commenting and complimenting my work. I appreicate you. Intimate is correct and after I finished I thought maybe it was too intimate…but hey that’s what makes us real to each other…So thank you!

    Farnoosh,
    Thanks so much and I know exactly how proud you are because all of my children being at my graduation was awesome. I know they finished college because I set the example. I also read about a 95 year old woman graduating last June. Simply amazing what we can do if we don’t talk ourselves out of it. Thanks for thinking my quotes are good enough for your ebook. I’m blessed by your thoughtfulness.

    Abubakar,
    Thanks for taking the time to personally invite me. I wasn’t moved to do it until then. I guess I needed a penguin nudge!

  • Dan August 15, 2010, 4:41 pm

    Love this Tess!!

  • Wilma Ham August 15, 2010, 4:56 pm

    Oh Tess, what a tribute to you and your own growth and how appropriate. YOU have taken responsibility to give yourself this respect and love and what an example you are. You can only give love which s the most precious gift, if you have it. You can only give respect when you have respect to give.
    I wish I would have know that, love thyself so you can truly and freely love others. I wish I would have known that I did not have to deserve love but could love and take care of me too. However that conditioning is changing and how awesome it is to feel the way you do and I can shout a great ‘yes, me too’ to all what you have written here so beautifully. I am grateful for you for putting into words so beautifully what my heart feels. You are wise, clever, capable, generous and beautiful and I am pleased that you know that, so you hear what I am saying. xox Wilma

  • Stacy August 15, 2010, 5:08 pm

    This is a great list! I would have loved to understand number four growing up, that it is those who are hurting that hurt others.

    By nature I was very quiet and introspective which seemed to be a neon sign inviting mistreatment. I often found myself in relationships with controlling and mean types, even employers like that honed in on me.
    .-= Stacy´s last post…How Do You Deal With Grief =-.

  • Sandra Lee August 15, 2010, 5:19 pm

    Dearest Tess,

    What an incredible piece of writing you have contributed to the Life Lessons series—full of beauty and wisdom. I feel such an overflowing sense of love for you and all that you share. You make being human divine!

    This is one line that I truly treasure among so many precious gems:
    “I believe today my safety lies in my defenselessness. ” So much to learn from this truth.

    You give so much on your blog. I am always moved deeply by your generosity.
    .-= Sandra Lee´s last post…7 link challenge plus =-.

  • Jaky Astik August 15, 2010, 5:31 pm

    What a wonderful set of affirmation was that. Loved them. We all need to put ourselves first. Because if we don’t, someone else will. We should take time to make ourselves happy, or that time will be taken by someone for something else. It’s we who is to decide what we ought to do.
    .-= Jaky Astik´s last post…The perfect way to end your weekend =-.

  • Keith August 15, 2010, 5:42 pm

    Hi Tess,

    The wisdom you have gained through the years is evident in this post and illustrates how much you have grown along the way. You move me and amaze me all at once. The pain you felt growing up really comes through in your writing, but you know what’s so cool (besides you) about all of this? How you plowed through that pain, turned it all around and are now a major force in helping others work through their pain! Isn’t that so cool?!

    I simply cannot single out on particular point in this post because my heart resonates with them all. Thank you Tess!

  • Angela Artemis August 15, 2010, 6:00 pm

    Tess,
    What a life you’ve had! I can see how it all contributed to you becoming the great person you are though!
    So many life lessons and wisdom to share.
    I really admire you for going back to school when you had 4 children! School is a wonderful place. I bet you found you that you were brilliant when you back to college too.
    Thanks so much for sharing this with us.
    Angela
    .-= Angela Artemis´s last post…How to Walk Through Walls =-.

  • Karen August 15, 2010, 6:13 pm

    Very beautiful, Tess!

    Four beautiful daughters and going on your 39th anniversary – amazing! Congratulations 🙂
    .-= Karen´s last post…How to Get Your Own Personal Freedom…Starting Today! =-.

  • Evita August 15, 2010, 6:14 pm

    Hi Tess

    This is splendid Tess, I am so glad you were part of Abubakar’s project. His idea was so awesome as through it we all learn something more today, that we don’t necessarily have to wait to learn in the future, a harder way perhaps!

    I love your story of how you started a family and there is nothing more true and good about being not only okay, but a most awesome thing to do to put oneself first. I always remember the saying … we really cannot take care of anyone else properly, unless we first take care of ourselves.
    .-= Evita´s last post…Stories from an Unconditionally Generous Heart =-.

  • Brenda August 15, 2010, 6:41 pm

    Tess,
    You did it again! Wrote a post that made me tear up. Loved them all and I commend you on your beautiful writing and your honesty.

    If only we all knew as a kid that “hurt people hurt people” and that we
    are good enough and that self-care is important and that not “fitting in” may be even better than “fitting in” because you have to be kind of mean to “fit in”… but these are our life lessons and we get where we are by learning them…

    Isn’t it nice we get to all hold hands and stick together!

    Love to you and everyone else!
    brenda
    .-= Brenda´s last post…My Most Important Life Lessons =-.

  • Lance August 15, 2010, 7:21 pm

    Tess,
    What you share is insightful and deeply meaningful. Being a parent, and knowing that some days I’m just not as “up to par” as others…your words on parenting land upon my heart.

    And I love that you have written a quote to go along with each of these. So wonderful…
    .-= Lance´s last post…Sunday Thought For The Day =-.

  • Robin Easton August 15, 2010, 8:14 pm

    Dearest Tess,This is sooooooo beautiful, deep, moving and poignant. I could so easily picture that little girl, the young Tess, and I find her so touchingly endearing. What gem. You wrote this with so much heart. It really reflects your personality and inner strength. You’re very beautiful in the most unique and powerful ways. I love you, Robin

  • suzen August 15, 2010, 8:46 pm

    Hi Tess! Wow – that is damn brilliant, youngin! LOVED it and its quite doubtful I could add anything to that list. Oh wait – yes one thing. I wish I knew THEN that my creative imaginary friend was just me!
    hugs
    suZen

  • Tony Single August 15, 2010, 10:29 pm

    Tess, you have learned much it seems, and are still learning. I’m learning to learn, if know what I mean. Great list! 🙂

  • Alex Blackwel August 16, 2010, 5:42 am

    Thanks for sharing your list Tess. Number Six, “I am capable” is one from your list that I would also put on my list. I spent the first 40 or so years of my life doubting myself. Now approaching my 50s, I better understand who I am, where I am going, and I now feel capable in so many areas of my life. I appreciate your courage in sharing your life lessons.

    Alex

  • Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord August 16, 2010, 5:47 am

    Tess, when I was younger I wish I knew that the magic and make-believe I dreamed of wasn’t unattainable. My surroundings instilled in me doubt, and a certain sense of embarrassment for my fantastical beliefs. As an adult, though, who has seen magic in her life, I’d love to travel back in time, hug the little girl I was and tell her, “Everything’s possible… Absolutely everything. Just ‘wish’ it so, and watch it manifest.”

    Loving you lots, Tess!
    .-= Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s last post…New Web Site =-.

  • Joshua Noerr August 16, 2010, 7:46 am

    I wish I would have known, or been able to tell myself, “Your Dad is going to be right 99% of the time. Listen to him.”

    I’ve only started realizing how wise he is over the last 5 years or so.

  • Stacey Shipman August 16, 2010, 8:57 am

    This is a great list that you shared. #4 resonates most. I was bullied as a kid. One of the greatest things I”ve learned over the years is exactly what you write – those who hurt are hurting. I’ve learned how to have more compassion.

    In addition I would add:
    Don’t let anyone tell you “you can’t”
    It’s ok to stand up for yourself and believe something different.
    .-= Stacey Shipman´s last post…Feel Good Living at 5200 Feet =-.

  • Lori August 16, 2010, 10:08 am

    Hi Tess,
    Right at the top of your post you say you have no regrets. I think that really says it all. When we can look back and see our lives for what they are and not regret any of the decisions we’ve made.
    **Beautiful**

    I loved reading the comments here, too. Megan, I totally agree! Joshua, you bet ‘cha (me too)!! Wilma, you are so wise and awesome! (OK, I’ll stop filling your comment box now, Tess.) 😉

    I’m loving the photo at the bottom of your post!
    Great job, Tess. You’re awesome.
    .-= Lori´s last post…No Tom Toms in Trottersville =-.

  • Amit Sodha - The Power Of Choice August 16, 2010, 10:41 am

    Hi Tess,

    That really resonated with me, especially point two because that is the theme of my new book…I put it across a slightly different way but I’m willing to bet that all the bloggers yourself and I will all attest to the fact they were different in some way when they were younger…it’s partly that which has lead us to choose this kind of path.

    Thank you!
    .-= Amit Sodha – The Power Of Choice´s last post…How To Be A Rebel Personal Development Guru Without A Cause =-.

  • rob white August 16, 2010, 11:42 am

    Hi Tess,
    Yes I love #2 also. I love being a bit eccentric… its a lot of fun. The idea of fitting in makes me cringe. Everybody that is labeled “different” is simply expressing their authentic, creative nature. Who wouldn’t want to be different when one considers the alternative?

  • marion August 16, 2010, 11:46 am

    Tess
    This is beautiful and I can resonate with so many. I particularly like “people who hurt others are hurting”. It is so true and makes such a difference to your life when you realize it.
    Excellent post. I thoroughly enjoyed it

  • Peggy August 16, 2010, 12:39 pm

    Dear Tess,

    What a beautiful letter to yourself and to all of us who need to be reminded that today we are who we are because of our yesterdays. Today is made up of all the moments that got us here.

    The biggest thing I wish I could tell my younger self (wait, I am telling my younger self this right now!) is that’s it’s more than ok to make mistakes. Go ahead and try this or try that and if you don’t get “it” the first time around, that’s ok, you can try again.

    Love you Tess!

    Peggy
    .-= Peggy´s last post…The Scientific Method of Assumptions – Part I =-.

  • Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord August 16, 2010, 3:03 pm

    I second Lori’s sentiments that the comments here were great. Loved reading them as much as the post, itself.
    And Lori, you’re as awesome as Tess is! Two beautiful, wise, willful women – I love it!
    .-= Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s last post…New Web Site =-.

  • Karl Staib - Superpower Coach August 16, 2010, 3:12 pm

    Are you so very beautiful. You embody the spirit of love. I like that you aren’t afraid to talk about your dad who was a big bully and your own ADHD. We all have faults.

    I believe the more we open up to our faults the more other people can love us and the more we can love ourselves.

  • Preeti @ Heart and Mind August 16, 2010, 4:18 pm

    Tess,

    I am glad you did the life lesson series, it is great to learn from our past and others. I like the last one the best, ” i wish I knew I’d live happily ever after”, I too wished that I knew that.
    .-= Preeti @ Heart and Mind´s last post…Enlightment- An Awareness and Understanding =-.

  • Chris Akins August 16, 2010, 4:50 pm

    Hi Tess,

    All valuable lessons. I can relate most to the parenting lesson, only because my wife and I have a 14 month old, and she is our only child. Its very easy to question what you’re doing, especially when kids do not come with instruction manuals. I think the fact that I am a graduate student in clinical psychology actually makes things worse, because I have seen first hand the results of shoddy parenting!

    My wife is great, though. She brings me back down when I start to worry too much. She is a natural mother, as if she’s done this in many past lives.

    Chris
    .-= Chris Akins´s last post…Free Deep Relaxation Meditation MP3 =-.

  • Aileen August 16, 2010, 6:14 pm

    I loved reading that you have no regrets – having that in mind as I read your post gave it a sweetness inside the depth and strength.

    I love the affirming quotes that are entwined through out.

    This is such a beautiful and inspiring post. Thank you for writing it and giving it to us, your readers 🙂
    .-= Aileen´s last post…The Leg­endary John Wooden Series- Intentness =-.

  • Joy August 16, 2010, 8:33 pm

    Hi Tess,
    I *love* what you reflect here..and all that is shared in the comments..
    Such insight..but what touches me most are your affirmations…
    Well, and the *love* that is shared so openly, joyfully here…you inspire me, you inspire us all…thank you Tess!

  • Katie August 16, 2010, 9:25 pm

    Wow, not only is this a wonderfully inspiring post full of wisdom, but you’ve blown me away with your life story (married so young, kids, happily ever after). I love it, love knowing more about who you are and what makes you tick. Thank you for sharing your personal story. It is beautiful.
    .-= Katie´s last post…A Simple Guide to Living Life with Wild Abandon =-.

  • eJobsViet August 17, 2010, 3:58 am

    thank for this article

    Thanks
    .-= eJobsViet´s last post…Nh?ng y?u t? giúp b?n tìm vi?c thành công =-.

  • Tess The Bold Life August 17, 2010, 10:07 am

    Dan,
    Hey, Thanks!

    Wilma,
    But we know now and all those good qualities…you reflect them for me and me for you. I’m so happy we’re friends.

    Stacey,
    Yes it would have made life so much easier. You were too gentle for the wolves. Isn’t life grand when we know better!

    Sandra Lee,
    You make my heart happy. I admire your blog and wisdom as well and am so glad we found each other!

    Jaky, Yes we get to design and create our lives exactly as we choose. Awesome!

    Kieth,
    You are an amazing human as well and a wonderful friend.

    Angela,
    Yes school was great but nooooo I didn’t feel brilliant. I felt scared and fearful of the work and writing. But I made it and probably it was the beginning of really understanding my power, wisdom and who I was without being mom.

    Karen,
    Yes my life is amazing…it was difficult then and even painful but now I feel like I’m on easy street.

    Evita,
    Yes if we can learn to take care of ourselves we always feel full and don’t have be needy of others.

    Brenda,
    Thanks so much for the love. Yes we are all good enough deserving of our own self care and of course first place in our own life.

  • Tess The Bold Life August 17, 2010, 10:14 am

    Lance,
    Oh yeah parenting after all that knowledge then they become adults and we have to learn to unparent! LOL

    Robin,
    You’re a great friend! All those kind words. I’m rereading them often;)

    Suzen,
    That’s a great one…creativity is me…100%! Why didn’t I think of that?

    Tony,
    Yes and we get to keep learning until we die;) I ask the Universe for gentle lessons all the time;)

    Alex,
    Oh yes 40’s and then 50’s we become sure of ourselves. My friend says when she turned 60 her thoughts were “whatever it is you want in life” you need to get going in your 60s!

    Megan,
    I’m calling you the manifestin queen because we’re all watching you do it. New blog on the horizon?

    Joshua,
    Thank you and yes 99% of the time dad was right but then so was mom;)

  • Tess The Bold Life August 17, 2010, 10:21 am

    Stacey,
    Thanks for adding those lessons. We have so many I can see why Jamil is writing a book.

    Lori,
    You’re the best and you know exactly who to make me feel great about life.

    Amit,
    Yes I’m all about different forever!

    Rob,
    Why does this not surprise me about you?!?

    Marion,
    Thanks and when we have awareness we have power.

    Peggy,
    No kidding and this was perfect advice for me today.

    Karl,
    Yes honesty is the only way to go…when I’m honest everyone benefits.

    Preeti,
    Yes I decided I’m living happily ever after and so far it’s working for me!

  • Tess The Bold Life August 17, 2010, 10:25 am

    Chris,
    Not to worry I’m betting you’re a good enough dad and you’ll learn as you go along!

    Aileen,
    Nope no regrets and it sounds like you feel the same.

    Joy,
    My job is to inspire you. I’m glad it’s working for you.

    Katie,
    Thanks for visiting me and thanks for witnessing my story. Everyone has one and we all fit together to make a tapestry!

  • Mark August 17, 2010, 10:56 am

    Tess,
    I loved all of the wisdom that you shared here! There are many lessons for us all to learn.

  • jonathanfigaro August 18, 2010, 7:56 am

    Tess, i must confess
    you honesty makes me less depressed
    Its nothing but your early life was a mess
    to some who believe this lie
    you have testified your soul
    and with this reply
    i say, you did well
    when other who have been in your position died
    from the inside….

    Great work MOM

  • Belinda Munoz + The Halfway Point August 18, 2010, 4:42 pm

    These are all such wonderful lessons and once again, you inspire me. I guess you could even sum everything up in #10 — which, for anyone and by anyone’s standards, is a beautiful gift!

    I struggle with #9, because there’s a part of me that wants to kick ass at parenting, but there’s a big part that also believes that I can’t take responsibility for how awesome my child is — our children, they have their own lives. The best we can do is LOVE them in the best way we know how.
    xoxo

  • Alien Ghost August 19, 2010, 5:15 am

    Hi Tess,

    It seems for many people the struggles of childhood and teenage years are similar and also seems that we can always learn from each other since we follow a similar path in life when it comes to internal feelings.

    Great post! Lots to learn from it 🙂

    Raul
    .-= Alien Ghost´s last post…Master of Your Own Universe =-.

  • Marko -- Calm Growth August 19, 2010, 1:06 pm

    Hi Tess, great lessons, I will pay attention only to some of them that I especially like 🙂

    1. Oh, of course, this is very important life lessons that I learned the hard way. Guilt and shame are very negative phenomenons, and I try to avoid them as much as I can.

    2. Basically, everyone is different. Everyone is unique. It is a cause for celebration, not for grief.

    4. Bullies are weak. “Strong person” would not burden himself with with thug actions. But there will always be bullies… I try to remind myself that I had the same beliefs as the people that today I do not agree.

    6. I strongly believe that EVERYONE has the potential to create whatever they can imagine. 😉

    7. No one can deceive us, as we can ourselves.

    10. Everyone has their cards in the poker of life, and regret never help.
    .-= Marko — Calm Growth´s last post…Achieve Tranquility of Mind- Important Things To Consider =-.

  • Jannie Funster August 19, 2010, 3:03 pm

    Dearest Beautiful Tess,

    Happy almost 39 years of marriage. That sure is a long wonderful time.

    I don’t know how you keep topping yourself, But I LOVE this post.

    The idea that something amazing is always about to happen is a wonderful way to see the world. I like that a lot!!

    xo

    And hey — SUPER Alexa rank!!!
    .-= Jannie Funster´s last post…Doesn’t EVERYBODY Practice Guitar In Their Bikini =-.

  • Suzie Cheel August 19, 2010, 5:17 pm

    Tess,
    I loved reading your No 10 and what a wonderful life you have, such joy I love that you shared that.
    No 8 is wonderful and yes you are so wise. I love the affirmations you have at the end of each point. I love no 1- yes not always easier to put yourself first even when it serves others:)
    love
    Suzie
    You have inspired me to write a post for this series.
    .-= Suzie Cheel´s last post…How Do You Fuel Your Creativity =-.

  • Tammy August 19, 2010, 7:33 pm

    Great post Tess. I really like the way that you placed an affirmation at the end of each lesson. My lesson? The quiet time that I spend each moment is fuel for my day.
    .-= Tammy´s last post…It’s Only Funny Until Someone Gets Hurt =-.

  • Patricia August 19, 2010, 8:30 pm

    I so resonated with this post and all your affirmation at the end of each section was just the icing on the cake…

    I am thinking strongly about the folks that hurt others are also hurting, because I so want the financial folks who hurt so many to be punished – I do not want to believe that they are hurting….then I look at Bill Gates and his foundation and I know that the wall street folks must be in horrendous shape…and I laugh at myself.

    I do have one lesson I wished I had learned in my younger years – not connected to regret I am happy to say – I wish I had known that my parents were not going to change even for my need….they were who they were and they did the very best they could, but I surely wish they had supported and hugged me a few more times along the way….I wish they had been better able to use their emotions rather than give me that burden to carry. Though I am turning that burden into quite the gift

    thank you for sharing such a wise and wonderful post – you are a gem 8()

  • Chris Edgar August 19, 2010, 9:04 pm

    Hi Tess — I definitely resonated with what you said about putting yourself first — I know that, when I put my own desires first, I seem to become more desirable for others to be around. It’s one of life’s odd paradoxes.

  • Joyce at What Would You Do In Heaven August 19, 2010, 9:43 pm

    Thanks for sharing this Tess. It’s quite uplifting, especially now that I feel a bit sick today. Many people judge us and tell us we shouldn’t value ourselves that much, but what do they really know? Is it wrong to feel valued and loved?
    .-= Joyce at What Would You Do In Heaven´s last post…It’s When You Lose Yourself That You Find Happiness =-.

  • Truong August 21, 2010, 6:20 am

    thank you for share!!!

  • Betsy @ zen-mama.com August 21, 2010, 1:32 pm

    Hi Tess,
    I really have enjoyed reading through your site today. I love your life lessons to your younger self. I’m always thinking about that. Your interview was also insightful and I, too, love the authors you recommended in the post that follows. I will continue to browse through now. I found you through Straight up Living.
    Betsy

  • Sashia August 24, 2010, 7:20 pm

    1. I wish I’d known you!

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