Bold Changes for Bold People

Very enlightened
Creative Commons License photo credit: RachelH_

Daphne @ Joyful Days had the winning comment for last weeks Magic Monday and is the winner of Jonathan Mead’s book!

“Nothing changes until something changes.”– Earnie Larson

I believe everyone has an area in their life they need to change. If we didn’t we’d be perfect or have a perfect life. I don’t know anyone like that. Do you?

What is it you need to change but fear doing so? Do you live in an unhappy relationship yet fear reaching out for help? Do you need to save more yet continue spending to avoid looking within?

Are you reluctant to tell your teenager or two year old “no” because of you fear they will hate you?

You’ve probably already know what you’ve been refusing to look at or change. Today I want to encourage you to look within, make some bold decisions and take the action needed. Only then will you be able to get out of your rut. Doing so will put you on the path that leads to happiness.

I get bored with ruts. I get anxious and begin to feel like I’m missing out. I also get anxious about making needed changes as well.  

I’ve discovered methods to turn my fear and anxiety into excitement through out change. When we sold our home in Michigan to move to Arizona we went down on our price twice. It made me crazy. Yet my gut said get out now or be left behind.

In order to turn my anxiety into excitement I began flipping through magazines choosing colors for paint, pillows and furniture.

I turned my anxiety into my vision of what my new friends, home and garden would look like.

Change can be exciting if you allow it to be. If you need to lose weight dream about the things you’ll do with your new body. Get a new bicycle, roller blades or running shoes. Put them to good use instead of feeling cheated and deprived.

Instead of focusing on any discomfort focus on the results you want and will soon see.

There is no way of avoiding fear when you make changes. We feel uncomfortable because we are taken out of our comfort zone. We fear the unknown. It’s human nature. Change requires that you stretch yourself.

A favorite quote is, “Leap and the net will appear.” Yet we want just the opposite. We want to see the net and then we’ll leap. Change requires faith and trust.

If you believe in yourself and trust others it’s easy to take the first step. Once you do others will appear on your path to help and show you the way.  Your Higher Power and the laws of the universe will move into full swing and provide you what you need.

When I reflect on some of the major changes I’ve made in my life they were always proceeded with fear and anxiety yet I took the leap anyway.

We all have examples of fear and changing inspite of our fear. Some of mine are:

  • When I was 17 and pregnant I married my boyfriend.  I was a kid but determined to finish high school and be a good wife and mother. I did and I was.
  • When we found our relationship was in trouble we found the courage to seek counseling. We’ve been married 37 + years.
  • I knew we didn’t have the parenting skills needed to do a good job. We attended workshops and took parenting classes, listened to tapes and got more therapy.
  • I was afraid I wasn’t smart enough to attend college. I went back part-time while raising my children and graduated nine and a half years later.
  • I immediately went to grad school for a degree in counseling psychology but was afraid I couldn’t do the writing required. I found the tutoring center.
  • We were required to diagnose clients for the insurance companies. I feared making mistakes. I sought a mentor who helped me.
  • I feared my children would make the same mistakes I did in life. I discovered they had a right to their own mistakes and lessons. I gave up control and allowed them to grow wings.
  • When I wanted to write a book I feared I wouldn’t find a publisher. I self-published.

No matter what, we need to keep growing and going forward. We all have struggles. Failure isn’t making the wrong choice. Failure is making no choice at all.

I  encourage you to reflect on your life and think of the times you “walked through fire.” Give yourself credit. Draw from the strengths of your past.

Remember the times you thought you’d fail and never did. Go back as far as learning how to ride a bike at five years old. Refuse to leave any change uncounted. Discover your diamonds in the rough. Use them to leap forward.

A personal change I’m currently working on today is causing me fear yet I have more fear not making the change.

Ask yourself 3 questions concerning something you need to change:

What is the best outcome that can happen?
What is the worst outcome that can possibly happen?
What is the result of remaining the same?

Go for it. Just do it. Leap and the net will appear. Have faith, trust and ask for help. I’ll see you on the other side.

Leave a comment:
What milestones can you give yourself credit for and use to propel yourself forward?
What was the bravest thing you ever did?

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Lance April 1, 2009, 7:36 pm

    Hi Tess,
    I LOVE this post! Leap and the net will appear – this is great, and fits so well.

    At the beginning of this year, I chose a word that I would focus on for the year. My word: courage. And it’s been amazing how this has come up on my life, in just the last three months. And specifically, in the last couple of weeks. So, I’m going to go with the bravest thing I’ve done this year: and that was a very personal speech I did in front of about 100 people. It was taking me way outside of my comfort zone – and specifically because I was getting up in front of all these people and talking about fears – and in this case – my fears – and how they were holding me back – until started to believe in myself. Admitting all of this in front of so many people was extremely difficult for me – yet, it turned out so wonderfully. I did jump and the net did appear! And that gives me strength going forward – I have this to look back on – and know that I CAN do whatever I’m trying. Will it always work? Probably not, but that’s okay. It’s better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all.

    Another thing I’ve done in the past – that has helped me in this getting out of your comfort zone idea – was skydiving. While this was only a one time thing, taking that step out of the airplane was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Jump and , in this case, the parachute will open. And once I took that step, what an exhilarating ride!

    ….much like life – if we jump – it we take those chances – if we really believe in ourselves – then our life can be an exhilarating ride!

    Tess, thank you for this today!

    Lance’s last blog post..Money Does Grow On Trees

  • Vered - MomGrind April 1, 2009, 9:43 pm

    “What was the bravest thing you ever did?”

    I love this question. I think for me the answer is changing careers from a lawyer to a writer. Leaving a good career, one I invested so much in, took a lot of courage.

    I loved your personal examples, by the way. You have lead an interesting life so far!

    Vered – MomGrind’s last blog post..Suffering For Beauty

  • Jannie Funster April 1, 2009, 9:57 pm

    Well, I haven’t jumped out of a plane like Mr Super-Hero up there 🙂 (love ya, Lance!)

    But…

    I sure like this post. And Tom Volkar of Delightful Work had a great post the other day too, about being authentic and letting that fear happen anyway. I told him sometimes I just want this on-going freaking discomfort associated with stage-fright and fear of failing (whatever failing is,) to STOP. But I realize if I did that, I’d go back to sitting on the sofa eating ding-dongs all day long — a.k.a. not going for my dream.

    And what you wrote here (to follow,) ties right into that!… “Instead of focusing on any discomfort focus on the results you want and will soon see. ” YES!!!!!

    Oh, I was quite brave once when I ran a mile on a strange dirt road when I was 10 to ask some people to use the phone, to save my grand-mother’s life. She didn’t have a phone yet and was having some kind of an attack. I ran so fast and so hard. I done pretty good, I think.

    And in freshman year I took on the chocolate cream pie eating contest and won! There were only 4 contestants but still there was stiff competition – “Maggie the Muncher” (reigning pie champion,) was giving me the evil eye to psyche me out but – I put my hands behind my back, my face down in that goopy stuff and didn’t stop gobbling until the bell rang and I was pronounced Winner! Is there no limit to what we can do when we are brave??

    Jannie Funster’s last blog post..Like a bord on a wire, 6

  • Giovanna Garcia April 2, 2009, 12:01 am

    Hi Tess

    I love the question you asked, “What was the bravest thing you ever did?”
    I would say one of the bravest thing was I left my family and home in Hong Kong . I didn’t speak any English, and I came to Untied States by myself at 16 years old. To reinvent myself, to create a better life.
    I love your message of living bold, it is a wonderful message. Cheers to a bold life!!
    Thank you,
    Giovanna Garcia
    Imperfect Action is better than No Action

    Giovanna Garcia’s last blog post..A quiz to see what is important.

  • Stacey Shipman April 2, 2009, 8:01 am

    The bravest to date is probably leaving the corporate world behind – without a net to catch me. Since then I have faced so many of my fears – public speaking, writing, saying yes to things I may have said no to in the past. Three years of discomfort has turned into 3 of the most exciting years of my life.

    Like you, I’m about to self-publish my first book. Why not? The learning experience is invaluable and I know that someday soon, I will have an agent/publisher.

    And in 2005 I literally did “walk through fire” in a firewalk which really was a big turning point in my life.

    Thank you for sharing your boldness, too.

    Stacey Shipman’s last blog post..Podcast Wednesday: Are You Ready to Eat Without Guilt? Interview with Dinneen Diette

  • Liara Covert April 2, 2009, 9:40 am

    As a huan being realizes he has infinite energy within, it also becomes apparent that free will enables him to channel this energy in any direction. You choose which emotions to feel and which emotions to dissolve. You choose which experiences set the parameters of your learning curve during physical existence. You underestimate the nature of how you control energy. Periodic revelations are part of the healing and growth processes.

    Liara Covert’s last blog post..How does soul progress?

  • Tess The Bold Life April 2, 2009, 9:45 am

    Lance,
    Isn’t life grand when we decide to make it so. I only know you through our blog but my guess is your “charismatic” which is a great quality for a speaker to have. It’s so weird that most would rather die than speak in public. Which means one would rather be in a casket than give the eulogy. Way to go!

    Skydiving? How brave! I would love to try it just once. Thanks for your usual inspiration.

    Vered,
    I agree that was brave in more ways than one. When I think about the letting go and surrending one has to do to change careers after putting that work into getting there…one word comes to mind…COURAGE!

    Jannie,
    Stage fright and fear of failing? You look as cool as a cucumber in that video you have posted! You are sooooo hilarious I look for you in all comments on blogs so I can have a good laugh.

    Giovanna,
    Wow that was beyond brave…there isn’t a word for doing that at 16. You are an inspiration to everyone who needs to reinvent themselves.

    Stacey,
    Let me know if you need any help with your book. I will put an add on my blog if you like!

    Tess The Bold Life’s last blog post..Bold Changes for Bold People

  • Dustin@BeatingtheGrind.net April 2, 2009, 12:32 pm

    There are a million saying to describe that act of doing but one of my favorites is

    “You can’t see the fruit until you go out on a limb”

    We do things by faith everyday – yet the things we should do, no need to do, we have no faith in. Solutions and opportunities present themselves when we step out on those limbs.

    It’s not magic – it’s just the way the world works.

    Thanks for a great article!

    Dustin@BeatingtheGrind.net’s last blog post..How to Increase Productivity by Doing Less (Part I)

  • Davina April 2, 2009, 1:58 pm

    Hi Tess. This was encouraging! The bravest thing I’ve ever done
    I’ve been doing it for for over a year now. Being committed to the entrepreneur’s journey. It is calling on more courage as time passes and money threatens with worry knocking at the door. I continue to move forward. I’m adamant that I want to support people through my life coaching business and editing. In the past month I’ve acquired more coaching clients and a good proofreading contact. Trusting is difficult, but in the end all a person can do is to keep walking and making connections.

    Davina’s last blog post..Good Advice in Tough Times

  • Patricia April 2, 2009, 3:16 pm

    I wanted to let you know I came here and read your words and your comments, and I took myself off all the medications yesterday and am just sitting still in that decision today….not ready to make any plans.

    The bravest thing I ever did – I am torn between – picking myself up and dusting myself off and continuing on and or every time I yelled out “I am HERE – SEE ME” to my parents, or teachers, or peers, or others….

    Patricia’s last blog post..Heeheehee!

  • Alik Levin | PracticeThis.com April 3, 2009, 5:39 am

    Tess,
    Change your response, improve your outcomes, eh? 😉
    Very good writeup with real world examples – just what i like.

    Alik Levin | PracticeThis.com’s last blog post..What Aristotle Could Teach You About Consulting

  • Jannie Funster April 3, 2009, 11:08 am

    Oh Tess, YOU are the WONDERFUL ONE!!! I admire you so much. And am loving your book you sent me. I plan to review it on my site. Sometime. I only say “sometime” because of my May 10th tunnel vision.

    Jannie Funster’s last blog post..Like a bord on a wire, 6

  • janice April 4, 2009, 7:51 am

    Loved the personal sharing here, Tess. Bravest thing I’ve done since having the kids was to invest money in the first local ‘Train to be a life coach’ course I ever attended. We’re not wealthy and it was a commitment to a life change as well as an investment in my future. I didn’t learn much on the course that I hadn’t already discovered myself through reading, but my confidence got a much needed boost. So as not to throw away the money we’d spent, I then took the deeper plunge of becoming certified. The practical exam part terrified me – experienced coaches sitting ‘in judgement’ of my tapes. Passing gave me a huge boost, but also, during the process, I made wonderful new friends and was offered my first writing gig – so that first bold move brought me unimaginable joy!

    And you’ve Thesis-ed!! (You mentioned a wee while back that you were spring cleaning and updating. ) The site’s looking great and I love the site map. Good to see all of your posts laid out like this. I’m struggling to catch up and get to know all the new bloggers I’ve discovered so pages like your site map help!

    “A personal change I’m currently working on today is causing me fear yet I have more fear not making the change.” If there’s anything I can do to help with this, please let me know.

    janice’s last blog post..On Gaining a Day…

  • Tess The Bold Life April 4, 2009, 10:08 am

    Dustin,
    Magic and the way the world works are the same to me. I love the fruit out on the limb!

    Davinna,
    I believe everyone starts out that way. Congratulations for going with your dream. I love your blog and know things will work out well. Hold you vision and do a happy dance.

    Patricia,
    Wow. That’s a pretty big move. I hope you do well with it. I love the “picking yourself up and dusting yourself off.” It’s very brave. The opposite would be a victim.

    Alik,
    I like real world examples as well. Why not show how we walk our talk.

    Jannie,
    I think May 10 is most important! If your too busy with your success after that I will remind you;)

    Janice,
    Congratulations on all. I checked out your blog and think it’s lovely. I look forward to reading more from you. Thanks for stopping by!

    Tess The Bold Life’s last blog post..Bold Changes for Bold People

  • Robin April 6, 2009, 12:10 am

    It’s funny, but I’ve done a few things other people thought were “brave” (or silly), such as leaving school teaching, or living on very little money, but to me the alternative was far too unbearable to contemplate.

    The bravest things I have done were speaking to groups, I suppose – first as a young school teacher and later as a tour guide.

    Robin’s last blog post..Calling All Gods And Goddesses!

  • frnk April 9, 2009, 7:07 am

    I needed this. Thank you. Maybe this will get me over the hump.

  • Janene Dalton August 26, 2009, 8:44 am

    This is an excellent post. The bravest thing I ever did was make a move to another country without knowing what to expect. I had become tired of living in my small town in Florida, so I decided to just pickup one day and head to the Caribbean. I am now in Jamaica and it had to be one of the best experiences ever.

    There are more things to come in the future which may be braver than that, but we shall see.

    Simply amazing blog by the way

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