overwhelm remedy

Do you feel like you’re overwhelmed, drowning or being buried alive? Do you know anyone today that doesn’t feel this way? Anyone? Neither do I! Well okay, maybe the neighbor’s dog!

We’ve lost the ability to feel consistently calm and relaxed.  

We only have ourselves to blame. 

There are more cell phones than people in our world and we’ve convinced ourselves that we have to be connected at all times. 

We have a false sense of self-importance as we bring our phones into restaurants, movie theaters and even restrooms and bedrooms. We’re willing to risk killing each other in order to send and receive texts while driving.

We’ve convinced ourselves that there is not enough time in the day.

We are losing our ability to pay attention. 

We are in touch with Facebook friends and out of touch with the most beloved people in our lives.

We are a culture out of control. We are addicted to a false sense of importance and connection. We are addicts. We have become slaves to technology.

Overwhelm is an illusion.

It’s a story that we tell ourselves. It’s an excuse. It allows us to be victims; we don’t have to change. We tell ourselves stories of overwhelm  in order to continue our bad behavior. It lets us all off the hook.

If you are tired of the roller coaster ride, if your world is spinning out of control, and if you want to feel less overwhelmed, here’s what you can do.

Completely unplug.

Do it for 24 hours, once a week. Fast from your computer. Don’t return email. Turn off your phone. It CAN wait. Turn off your television. You can watch it tomorrow. Give up the idea that you have to be connected 24/7.  Take control of your availability and your life.

Create face-to-face and skin-to-skin time with your family and friends, sans technology.

No technology can ever replace the quality and uninterrupted time you spend with those you love. When you’re truly present, miracles happen. Love and connection change who we are as people at a cellular level. Replace overwhelm and work with love.

Know the difference between urgent and important.

The thing that needs your immediate attention and action is what’s urgent. Do it in the morning when you have the most energy. Completely forget about what’s important until everything that is urgent is finished.

Do nothing. Stop the doing, doing, doing.

Stop planning every moment of your time. Constant busyness feeds your ego and narcissistic tendencies. Let go of chaos. Get comfortable with peace.

Create time for meditation.

There are an unlimited number of ways to meditate. You can listen to a guided meditation, focus on a mantra, an object or your breathing. Choose something that resonates with you. Begin with three to five minutes a day. Increase your time in five minute increments, up to 20 minutes.

Remember sacredness.

We’ve forgotten how to connect with our higher selves, a Higher Power or God. Connect with a power greater than yourself. Connect with yourself. We are sacred beings. It takes quiet time, so create it. It will not only change your day, it will change your life.

Build community.

Find someone to serve. Give of your time, talent and money. Do things for people who cannot pay you back. Go out of your way to visit the elderly.  Teach a child to read. We’ve forgotten what’s important. It’s time to remember.

Practice deep breathing.

Breathe in very slowly. Take in more oxygen. Breathe out very slowly. Release tension. Focus on your breath and you’ll feel less stress and overwhelm, and more calm and peace. You can’t go wrong.

Take a mental break.

Walk away from your desk or work. Mentally bring up past memories of good times. Revel in a happy place. Get into the feeling. Bring the feeling back to your work.

Do a worry dump.

Write down your negative thoughts and worries. As you empty your mind, your mind calms down. There’s a release that comes from putting it on paper. When you realize that most of what bothers you is unimportant, out of your control or will never happen, you’ll feel an instant relief.

Shift your perspective. Be willing to see things differently. We forget that we can’t see the whole picture. We don’t know what anything is for. We don’t have all of the answers. Life’s a mystery. 

Get a mantra.

A mantra is a statement that is repeated frequently in order to center yourself. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. All is well.  Release and relax. Oh well, so what. Repeat your mantra when you’re feeling overwhelmed, when your thoughts are out of control.

Focus on right now.

There is no past or present. Anytime you feel overwhelmed, bring yourself into the present moment and focus only on the task at hand. Then move on to the next. Do one thing at a time. Life happens moment by moment. That’s it.

Take a walk in nature.

Escape the stressful situation. Blow off steam. Clear your head. Reframe the situation and relax. You’ll get a natural high from released endorphins. Nature is healing. Nature teaches us that no matter what, life goes on. 

Overwhelm is a choice. It has become a lifestyle. Remember you have the freedom to change. You don't have to live in overwhelm. Ever. 

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change your relationship to fear

How many of your thoughts are fearful? I want you to notice how many times per day you find yourself fearfully obsessing about what might or might not happen in your life. 

Do you worry everyday about your job, children, life partner or your business? Notice what you fear the most and how often you recycle the same fears.

Track your fears in a notebook or on your phone. Become aware of just how fearful you really are.

Living in fear is an addiction. Worrying about the future is worthless. It’s a choice to hang on to fear. It’s what we tend to do when we think we’re unworthy, incapable or unwilling to surrender.

Would you be willing to put the same time, effort and energy into your personal growth, living your dream or helping others?

How would your life be different if you changed your relationship to fear?

Take a few minutes today and get a clear picture of what your world might look like. What would you be doing differently?

Fear steals our energy, our dreams and our opportunities. Fear keeps us stuck in procrastination, projection and a self-made prison. It distorts our past, present and future. Fear is blinding and binding.

It's time to shake things up and change your relationship with fear. Here's how:

1. Dig deep for courage and confidence. Remind yourself of previous brave times. It's time to take the action that you need to make living more enjoyable, adventurous and fun.

2. When you feel better go back to your plan. Stop taking phone calls and stop reading emails. Stop working. Sit with yourself in a quiet space and go within. Breathe. Pray. Meditate. 

3. Tell fear to take a back seat. Nip it in the bud. Don't give it the breathing room to survive. Starve it and allow it to shrink to nothing.

4. Let go of your story. Tell fear, "The End!" Focus on the task or step in front of you. Relax into the moment. That's where life happens.

5. Lean into your fear. Ride it out. It will lead you to your next step, a potential gain, new knowledge or a bigger perspective.

6. Stop making it hard. Change your thoughts and believe! If you want it to be easy, belief that it can be. Don't listen to everything your mind says. Talk back to it.

7. Write down what has gone right in your world for the last 24 hours. We usually focus on a problem or two, and forget all of the good stuff. 

8. Write down what you got right in the last 24 hours. Forgive yourself for what you did wrong or any mistakes you've made. Count your successes. What did you do right? Miracles happen when you shift your perception. 

9. Do something that scares you. Show fear who's the boss. You'll get more confident and stronger. You will grow your courage muscles, spirit and dreams.

10. Bet on yourself. Believe that you'll be able to handle whatever comes up. Know that you can get through anything. Talk yourself out of your fear. Think, speak and act your way to success.

11. Get help. Take a course. Hire a courage coach. Create a plan. You are the inventor. You determind your future. Make it grand!

12. Venture beyond known territories. Visit new places. Make amazing friends. Try something new. Stretch your limits. Widen your comfort zone. Make life exciting. Be courageous. There's a whole new world waiting for you!

Join me at Be Your Best Women's Retreat & Celebration in Portland, Maine with other amazing women! Click here to find out more! 


begin again

We have it in our power to begin again

Tragedy happens. People die. Relationships end. Jobs are lost. Parenting feels like a thankless job. The life you have may not be like you expected it to be.

Pain, loss, setbacks and disappointment are a part of life. You feel paralyzed by fear.

Life isn’t always smooth sailing.

Sometimes, when things get tough and the pain feels unbearable, you only need to take the step in front of you.

Be courageous. Decide to take one step at a time. Move through your fear. Choose to begin again.

One step at a time is enough for the path in front of you to become clear. Eventually the light will shine again. I can promise you that.

Begin again when:

You lose a friend or two. Things change, they move on. You're cut off. Mourn. Make new friends. Begin again.

You lose a job or get laid off. You make a bad investment and you're drowning in debt. Reinvent yourself. Begin again.

You end a relationship or your spouse files for divorce. Your adult children won't speak to you. Forgive everyone.  Include yourself. Begin again.

You fail. You mess up a project. Nobody cares. You lose your time, energy and money. Learn from it. Begin again.

You are angry. You were overcharged. You lost your receipt. The line is long. You're kicking yourself. Let it go. Begin again.

You feel distant from people. You ignore the ones you love. You meet your friends for a drink. One turns into five. Stop drinking. Get help. Begin again.

You get sick. A friend gets cancer. Your pet is aging. A parent dies. You question the meaning of life.  Be kind to yourself. Begin again.

You are exhausted. Your sink is clogged. The car is in the shop. You're behind in your house payments. Make a plan. Begin again.

You gain weight. You're too tired to exercise. You are unmotivated. You're dying inside. Take a deep breath and one tiny step. Begin again.

You cannot quit crying. Your son is on drugs. Your purse is missing. You feel like a failure. You hate life. Reach out. Begin again.

You cannot calm down or get it together. You isolate and sleep too much. You feel like a mess. Make a plan. Begin again.

The difficult times are the very ones that can break us open and help us blossom. ~ Elizabeth Lesser

Here’s how to begin again:

Surround yourself with people who care. Allow yourself to lean on someone. You don’t have to suffer or struggle alone. Receive the kindness that others offer you. Simply say thank you.

Sit in silence. Don’t numb you pain. Get quiet. Let it bubble up. Breathe. Lean into it. Keep breathing. It will pass.

Change your perspective. Replace your fear with love. Commit to love. Love is an attitude. Love is a verb or a way of life. Love is an activity. Participate in it. Your world will change.

Surrender. Don’t hang on to anger. When you feel like you are being unfairly treated or when you feel like you’ve been left behind, surrender. Trust the process.  Life has an ebb and flow. This too shall pass. It always has. It always will.

Take good care of yourself. Go to the gym. Eat right. Get enough sleep. Pamper yourself. In difficult times be your own best friend.

Get help. Find a support group. Hire a coach. See a therapist. You may want someone to help you sort things out. You can’t see the whole picture. You may not know how to start over. Reach out.

Take responsibility. It’s up to you to be strong and keep going. It’s up to you to make a plan. Nobody is coming to save you.

Help others. There is always someone who needs help even more than you do. Being of service will leave you with a natural high. Look around and find someone who needs you.

Find joy and lightness. Look for a reason to smile. Notice beauty everywhere. Take long walks. Watch small children play. There is meaning and beauty to be found even in the midst of pain. 

The wonderful thing about life is that you can begin again anytime you wish. You can wipe the slate clean. Get back on the horse. Carry on. Again. And again. And again. Isn't life grand?

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