How to Overcome Your Three Biggest Fears

We’re all afraid. We're wired that way. It’s part of being human.

When you get that…really get that, everything changes.

It appears that we are afraid for different reasons. We doubt ourselves. We doubt others. We don't trust ourselves. We don't trust others. We don't love ourselves. We don't love others. 

We are all afraid for the same reasons.

We all have three fears or three irrational beliefs.

I am not enough. I don't do enough. I don't have enough.

These three irrational beliefs mess with your mind. They mess with your ability to live in the present moment. They make you do crazy things. They rob you of your sleep. They turn friends into competitors. They destroy your self-esteem. They drive your addictions. 

Begin today to challenge these beliefs and move beyond your fear.

I am not enough. I am enough.

I don't do enough. I do enough.

I don't have enough. I have enough.

Write your new beliefs on an index card. Carry it with you or put it on your bathroom mirror. Write them on the top of your to-do-list. Every day. Your other tasks will look and feel easy once you ground yourself in your new beliefs.

If I were to get a tattoo, it would be these three lines. 

Once you believe that you are enough, that you have enough, and that you do enough, you begin to believe it about others. You begin to sleep at night. You serve others without thoughts of what you can get in return. You smile more. Your fear fades and your days begin to flow.

Grounded in your new thoughts, the following steps become easy to do:

Share your stuff. Do it in small and big ways. Help. Serve. Surprise others. Yesterday, my husband went into the gas station for a few minutes as I waited in the car. 

I noticed a man standing on the sidewalk. He was old, worn and missing an arm. His other arm didn’t look very good either.  Diabetes I think. I phoned my husband and asked him to pick up a bottle of water and a sandwich. I asked him to give it to the guy on the sidewalk when he came out. The man smiled, accepted it and walked away. It’s that simple. Are you willing to share your time, talent, wisdom or money today? Giving is personal, give in your own way. (I have enough).

Shrink your fear.  Look your fear in the eye. Tell it to back down. You have work to do, people to see and connections to make. Tell your fear who you really are. (I am enough).

Live it now. What does success feel like? Get into the feeling. What does success smell like? Wear the perfume. What does success look like? Dress the part. Go where successful people go and do what successful people do. (I am enough).

It's your choice. We make hundreds of choices every day. Become aware of the choices you make and the consequences of your choices. Choose to get up an hour early. Choose to use your gifts and talents. Choose to go the extra mile. Choose to ask for help. Choose to leave your mark on the world. Choose to rise one more time than you fall. Choose to move beyond your fear. (I am enough).

Talk it up a notch. Use encouraging words. Create affirmations as reminders. Post them everywhere. Read them. Memorize them. Louise Hay is 85 years old and she continues to use affirmations. That’s how she built her empire. Never underestimate the power of positive self-talk. (I am enough).

Unprocrastinate. Do what you need to do today. Act like you're capable. Don’t hesitate, delay, or isolate. Apologize, take the high road, and accept responsibility for all that you do and all that you don’t do. Life is messy. So what! Learn from your mistakes and move on. 

Choose to feel safe. So what if it doesn't work out? So what if you have to begin again? So what if you are afraid? Sometimes life will demand that you crawl one more inch and sometimes life will allow you to soar. Continue to move. Enjoy it all. Nothing is as serious as we make it out to be. (I have enough).

Knock down the doors. When things go wrong, get back up. When doors don’t open, kick them down. When there’s a detour, climb a fence. When somebody tells you, “no,” ask again. Keep going back and keep moving forward until you get what you want. Each “no,” is a step closer to a “yes.” (I am enough).

Stand out. Tell the truth. Keep your promises. Make others aware of your strengths. Be persistent. Be yourself. Listen to your heart. Follow your dreams with integrity and love. It’s a powerful combination. (I am enough).

Take a break. Untether. Everyday! Shut off your electronics. Retreat. Regroup. Relax. Clear your mind. Let go. Surrender. (I have enough).

We don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Or the next minute for that matter! Color your life bold. Do it your way. Make a change. You are responsible for the quantity and the quality of your life. Create and live your grand adventure today!

Photo contributor Exsodus

Please leave your thoughts below. Help me inspire others by sharing this post on Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Vidya Sury September 24, 2012, 10:06 am

    Wonderfully wise words. No matter how much encouragement we get, in some form, fear can always creep up – when we’re outcome-anxious, or unprepared. Thanks for the great inspiration as always, Tess.

    • Tess September 25, 2012, 6:09 am

      Vidya,
      Yes fear does have a way of creeping in for me as well! My affirmation cards are worn out. Literally. I’m making new ones with a friend in October!

  • Elle September 24, 2012, 12:26 pm

    You are spot on Tess. As a recovering procrastinator it’s a tiger that I have by the tail…haven’t entirely let go yet, so your words and ideas are music to my ears and reminders to my heart.

    This was a great read for me today and I thank you.

    Love Elle
    xoxo

    • Tess September 25, 2012, 6:12 am

      Elle,
      You have such a way with words! I’m grateful that our paths have crossed. Love your wisdom!

  • Arvind Devalia September 24, 2012, 2:56 pm

    Tess, this is an outstanding post! In mho one of your best ever:-)

    I am enough.

    I do enough.

    I have enough.

    Amen.

    • Tess September 25, 2012, 6:13 am

      Arvind,
      Thanks! You’re the best;)

  • Fran Sorin September 25, 2012, 5:52 am

    Tess-
    As far as I’m concerned, this post says it all. I’m going to print and keep on my kitchen table to read everyday and DO at least one of the suggestions.

    Love the Louise Hays mention. 85 and still doing affirmations? That’s a motivator if I’ve ever heard one. xxoo

  • Tess September 25, 2012, 6:14 am

    Fran,
    I love Louise. Check out her facebook page! She’s always posting photos of her garden and her newest book is Divine! xo

  • J.D. Meier September 25, 2012, 7:12 am

    Beautiful — I really like how you focused on three.

    > If I were to get a tattoo it would be these three lines.
    I say go for it.

    I’m a fan of shifting beliefs to get results. Not because I’m a fan of positive thinking, but ultimately because i”m a fan of positive doing, and I think our feelings shape our thoughts, and in turn, our thoughts shape our actions.

    Sadly, I know many people that do not have enough. They make choices between eating and healthcare, food vs. shelter, etc.

    I think a powerful belief to have is …
    I’ll find a way.

  • Sara September 25, 2012, 7:17 am

    Nice post!
    I am enough.
    I do enough.
    I have enough.
    thank you! 🙂

  • Cathy | Treatment Talk September 25, 2012, 10:52 am

    Hi Tess,

    Such an inspirational post. You are really leading us through our fears. I love your tips on having enough. We can get caught up in thinking we need more, but the reality is that most of us do have more than enough and can give to others Thanks for another amazing reminder!!

  • David Stevens September 25, 2012, 4:48 pm

    Thankyou Tess,
    be good to yourself
    David

  • Galen Pearl September 26, 2012, 9:07 pm

    Great post. Simple thoughts to change. I am not enough. Delete! I am enough. And so on. Even reading the words make me feel more positive and powerful.

  • Betsy/Zen Mama September 27, 2012, 1:31 am

    Tess,
    I love your three statements. I’ve been working with my children and positive affirmation for the things they’d like to achieve. The statements are similar to your first one. An “I Am” statement. So far it’s worked very well with my oldest and youngest. Now for my middle child… 🙂

    Thank so much for this post!! I love it!

  • meditation guru November 11, 2012, 8:54 am

    Fear is never in active present. It is always about past or future. Fear is imagination. If you watch fear then it melts away and disappear. Fear mean we become victim of our own imagination. Well written post. I like this!

  • remove fear March 26, 2013, 4:57 am

    Positive thinking: You can’t be successful if you’re ruled by fear. positive thinking is the best way i found..

Next Post:

Previous Post: