“I like myself best when I am with you.” Dennis Waitley
In elementary school for Valentines Day, my classmates and I would receive a box with our name on it to decorate with pink and red hearts. On February 14,th we would sing songs, eat candy and drop our valentines in each other’s boxes.
What would our closest relationships look like if we celebrated love everyday by dropping kind words, good deeds and delightful gestures into each other’s lives? What if we put energy and time into being our most genuine, fully alive and generous selves?
Practice these tips to sky rocket the love in your life.
1. A generosity of spirit. When we love someone, it’s not difficult to let go of what we want for what they want. Love is being surprisingly thoughtful with time, good wishes and consideration. Love is tuning into the needs of others and become uncommonly caring.
2. Focus on love. When you think and act on love, you begin to feel more loving. Practice recalling loving times. Plan a love-filled future. Make love your top priority.
3. Apologize. Learn to say, “I’m sorry. I was wrong. I care about you,” with warmth, courage, and sincerity. Repeat often.
4. Keep your promises. Keep track of your commitments. Do what you say you’re going to do. Be someone others can count on and lean on. Trust is something you build, one brick at a time. It’s easily lost and difficult to regain.
5. Recognize what separates you from love. Turn criticism into praise, frustration into patience, and judgment into acceptance. Shift your perception, drop your story, and become a strong and centered supportive force.
6. Be present. Turn off your computer, phone and iPod. Shut out distractions. When you hideout, you miss out. Learn to savor the sight, presence and essence of others. Create a ritual of eating together, slowly. Join with each other in a light and love filled space.
7. Stop striving and start living. Spend quality time with those you love. Track how much time you spend striving vs. thriving. A favorite lesson of mine is, “happiness is now, there is no other time. Happiness is here, there is no other place.”
8. Shimmer with freshness. Break out of your routine. Create a “pushing daisies list,” include what you want to see, do, and experience before you die. Be spontaneous, inquisitive and fun.
9. Hold a vision. See each other smiling and succeeding throughout the day. Learn to expect the best and give your best to each other. Plan good times and watch them unfold. Be invested in your future together.
10. Become emotionally open. Learn to be silent in moments of despair, centered in moments of confusion, and comforting in times of grief. Be excited in moments of happiness, cry in moments of joy, and grateful in moments of peace. Hold and comfort each other with understanding eyes and wide open hearts.
11. Little delightful gestures. Give a hug, a wink, a neck massage or a touch on an arm, shoulder or back. Touch creates intimacy. Affection feels good. Love follows.
12. Speak and be silent. Learn how effective silence can be. Know when to speak up. Give yourself a time-out to calm down. Create space to chill out. Never fight over the last word. Choose happiness over being right. Communicating effectively is a powerful way to inner and outer peace.
13. Celebrate who you are and what you have. Only when you accept yourself, can you accept others. Appreciate differences, accept annoyances. Celebrate the qualities that make each of you unique.
14. Offer forgiveness. Nobody is perfect. At the end of the day let go of anything that didn’t go well, drop grievances and offer second chances. Life is too short for a cold heart.
15. Do good. Help with everyday monotonous tasks. Take out the garbage, do the dishes, make the bed, pick up the laundry. Share routine responsibilities. Be mature.
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