In Bird by Bird, Anne Lamott writes, “Jealousy is such a direct attack on whatever measure of confidence you’ve been able to muster. But if you continue to write, you are probably going to have to deal with it, because some wonderful, dazzling successes are going to happen for some of the most awful, angry, undeserving writers you know—people who are, in other words, not you.”
It’s no secret the road to blogging success is a strenuous one. It’s easy to get overwhelmed, exhausted and doubt your best efforts.
Every once in a while we discover a gifted blogger whose writing is so funny, touching or beautiful your heart races, your hands sweat, the earth moves and you’re left breathless.
Tara at Wiseliving is gifted beyond her years, Katie at Momentum Gathering blogs with wild abandon, Sean at Writer Dad gets inside the heads and hearts of all parents. Marianne Williamson’s words spill over with shocking truth.
On a good day I soak up their articles like the warm sunshine on a cool fall day. I savor each insight like it was the last chocolate bar on earth. Their words, ideas and stories make my toes curl, heart swell and soul sparkle and shine. It’s what I call a bloggasm!
I’m ecstatic to be cast under their magical spells. The finest posts I print out and tuck them in my journal for further reflection. They stir my own writer genius.
On a bad day, my ego comes out in full force, I relentlessly compare myself to these and other demigods and swear I’ll quit while I’m ahead. Blogging makes me feel as depleted as a marathoner who collapses before crossing the finish line. I’m grateful these moments are far and few between.
My ego questions, “Why can’t I write like that? How did he/she get so great?
Why do I always miss out…blah…blah…blah.”
What causes me to soothe my inner writer and carry on?
Knowing I’m not alone. I don’t know a human that doesn’t experience negativity, jealousy and inadequacy.
Debbie Ford, a contributing author of, “The Shadow Effect” refers to herself as the “Champion of Shadow Work.”
In the new book, Ford reminds us to not only pay attention to our shadow side but to our light side as well. Our light shadow includes the positive qualities we’ve buried deep within. For example, we’ve learned to hide qualities like powerful, brilliant, and wise when we become fearful of our own light. Maybe we’ve been told not to brag, or be “full of ourselves.” Or maybe we’ve been accused of being too positive. We dim our light to fit in.
When we admire our colleague’s blogs and think “yes, yes this is brilliant” we are projecting our light shadow. We see their beauty and light in their words because we own our beauty and light in our own writing..
When we feel jealousy, left behind or discouraged by reading other’s blogs we deny their light because we deny our own as well.
I remind myself I’m more than these feelings or emotions. When I read a great blog I remind myself, “I am that.” Unless I have it I can’t see it.
It’s our ego or lower-self that convinces us of the need to stand out, be special and impress others. I don’t experience peace or joy when I write from that space.
When I remember I don’t need to imitate anyone, create a best seller or obtain fame to be a great writer.
We become amazing writers, attract more readers and sell more books by owning our greatness and staying in the present moment. Where I am is perfect for the “Bigger Plan.” When we flip on our own “light” switch miracles happen.
When I first read Marianne’s book, Return to Love, I called hubs at work and stated, “I could’ve written that book!” He replied, “Tess, there is nobody stopping you from picking up your pencil!” Soon after I began writing for a Women’s Magazine which led to, “Flying By the Seat of My Soul.”
We project onto each other universal qualities that belong to everyone.
To get beyond self-doubts, envy or rejection, learn to acknowledge and reclaim your own wisdom, wild abandon and truth.
Drink in the beauty of another without comparing. Comparison is one of the greatest causes of human suffering. It’s self inflicted. It’s my authenticity that will touch the people who can learn from me.
We have the opportunity to unearth the treasures we buried that have been begging to be brought forward and expressed in our writing.
When we take back our traits of “light,” doors fling open to infinite opportunities for an unimaginable future.
What brilliant bloggers to you admire? What qualities do they reflect for you? Please leave their links in your comments.