Comments on: The Rewards of Honoring Commitments

By: Tess Bold Life

Tess Bold Life — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 21:18:59 +0000

I know you can get through this and I hope you find support. Reach out and ask for it. If you give me your snail mail address I’ll send you a copy of my book at no cost. God Bless! xo
Tess Bold Life´s last post…The Rewards of Honoring Commitments

By: nagrona

nagrona — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 05:52:12 +0000

My commitment was to myself. It has been very hard. My father, true friend, and only older family died this year. I am raising a young daughter alone . My husband is in federal prison and I am in t5he act of getting a divorce. Things have been VERY hard, especially financially. I am on the repair and owe it all to my perseverance. Faith in myself and in the goodness of eventuality. I continue to struggle.

By: Tess Bold Life

Tess Bold Life — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 22:51:32 +0000

Robin,
Thank you soul sister of mine. I appreciate your love and understanding. I’m eternally grateful. xo
Tess Bold Life´s last post…The Rewards of Honoring Commitments

By: Robin Easton

Robin Easton — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 20:41:09 +0000

Dear Tess, I relate to this in so many ways, but before I explain I have to say that I really sense this deep affinity that you have for commitment. I’ve sensed that in you before, just in your writing and dealings with others. I also have to say that you are very brave taking on an editing like this, far more than most may realize who have not been involved in the literary world.

I related to it from both sides. When I was younger I held a great attachment to my writing and if someone edited it I took it personally, like I wasn’t good enough or that it was an attack on me. Well, writing a book ended that very fast. I could NOT find friends who would be totally honest with about what they liked and didn’t like or to “have at it” ruthlessly with their “red pen”. I would beg them be “cruel” LOL! and then when my husband helped me and he was very honest and matter of fact about it. I LOVED it. Finally an honest critical editor. I grew to really value exactly what YOU have given this woman. Anything less, and you might as well not do it.

So in light of all that when I read this post I thought, “Tess has given this woman a REAL gift.” It’s a bit like “tough love”. Sometimes if we REALLY love someone it means NOT giving them what they may “think” they want, but instead giving them what they REALLY need.

I really appreciate what you gave this woman, and how tough it was especially when her son was upset with you. But the truth is you REALLY gave her something. Any less and you would have given her nothing. And although giving her nothing would have been much easier on you in terms of work, safer in terms of not risking being rejected by her son, and so on….you STILL stuck to your guns/commitment and gave the real deal. Wow! I applaud you for that dear friend. You’re amazing and acted with high integrity. So proud of you. Thank you. Hugging you a big one. Robin
Robin Easton´s last post…How We Shape Our World

By: Tess Bold Life

Tess Bold Life — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 17:26:56 +0000

Evita,
You’re one who saw empathy. It was the sole reason I committed. Thanks for understanding.

Catrien,
Welcome to the bold life. Thanks for your opinion. We all know what’s right for us individually. I couldn’t have been at peace with myself if I didn’t follow through. The only reason I could think of was “I don’t feel like it.” Not good enough for me;)

Patti,
Thanks for your compliments and I see your integrity shine through as always.

Davina,
You go girl…an example for all of us!

Lana,
There is no doubt in my mind you will attract more committed people. Thanks for stepping up to the task you’re integrity effects all of us and vise versa.

Caroline,
Thanks for stopping by and adding your comment. I know we think a like and learn from each other. That’s why you’re easy to love!

Cheryl,
I’m not sure about the man woman thing. My hubs is very very committed especially when it comes to his word. He must know I am as well. Thanks for your comment. I appreciate it.

Marko,
Thanks! Blessed am I for having you as a commenter and reader. The feeling is mutual.

Jannie,
You’re the best now please pass the donuts!

Paul,
Wow you noticed the second reason I followed through. Thanks. I refuse to be one who doesn’t respect the elderly. They mean the world to me.

Peggy,
Toolbox girl I’m marking my calendar for May 22. (read last line) I’ll have to get a ride to where ever we choose. I’ll fly in for the day and fly back the same. Woo hoo…oh wait I better check with my hubby before I promise;)

Hillary,
I understand exactly what you’re saying about the organization unfortunately I have no answers. I know you get it or you wouldn’t be with your mother now. You’re a gift to our world.

Stephen,
Yes sometimes I do make commitments no because they’re comfortable or feel good. I feel it’s the “right” thing to do. This was one of them.

Lance,
Yeah for me and you! She was ecstatic with the end result even though she had a difficult time accepting it. She told me yesterday she “owes me.” No she doesn’t!

suZen,
I agree with you on all points. Isn’t life grand?

Joy,
I like that you “get it.” Can’t wait to meet this weekend!

Doug,
Thanks for your input. My freedom came in knowing I did the right thing for me.

Janice,
From one coach to another, yeah to life, love and keeping our commitments in difficult times. I needed to do what it took and I did. I have no regrets. I’m glad I made it and followed through.
Tess Bold Life´s last post…The Rewards of Honoring Commitments

By: janice | Sharing the Journey

janice | Sharing the Journey — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 11:36:25 +0000

Editing’s hard at the best of times, Tess, even if it isn’t for an elderly person, so kudos to you. That balance between keeping it ‘theirs’ when sometimes it would be so much easier to rewrite than to edit and proofread. But that’s where your coaching and therapy skills merge with your commitment as a decent human being. You’re an empowerer, not a fixer, and you can simultaneously focus on the details while being aware of the bigger picture. Holding onto that bigger picture can often strengthen our resolve to honour commitments. That’s why coaches help co-create miracles when family members are often too close to be able to. It’s our job to make ourselves redundant after we’ve given others the skills to expand their own lives. If your friend does another book, she’ll have gained from the process you illustrated as you edited with integrity.

By: Doug Cartwright

Doug Cartwright — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 10:47:31 +0000

Hi,

The lady who helped train me as a coach said “commitment = freedom” and that got me thinking a lot over the years. Yes, commitment can ‘trap’ us but it also frees us. When I got married I committed to love one person and that gives me the freedom to fully express myself to her. Ironically, committing to something can give us the freedom to explore it in a deeper and more significant way. It’s only society that jokes about how awful commitment is. But I agree with others above who say you should be careful what you commit to….!

Thanks Tess

By: Joy

Joy — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 01:16:44 +0000

Tess,
As I read I thought *of course* you keep commitments, and you care, and I love that about you. What a rare treat it is to find someone who keeps their word!
I am careful not to promise, because a promise is golden and once given should be kept. There have been days I wanted to just quit, but in each case I am glad I’ve seen it to the end, because I believe there is a lesson to be had and if I quit in the middle, life will stop me along the way and send me back to relearn it. Whatever it is I’m trying to avoid by quitting will only be there waiting for me later on. Probably bigger/worse/more frustrating than initally. Conversely, whatever I am meant to learn is necessary and often results in some type of joy I would otherwise not have known.

By: suzen

suzen — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 00:00:50 +0000

Hi Tess! Great story and what a perfect example of the typical “traps” we can get into, without meaning to! I detest dread – I don’t do or say I’ll do anything I might dread. At least not knowingly!

That being said, it’s easy to start something, then realize ugh, should not have been so optimistic cuz this is really not what I thought it would be. Been there, and hasn’t everybody? I try to slip into a “chop wood, carry water” zen mind to complete whatever it is, stay calm, and not think any negative thoughts.

I think it is imperative we honor our committments – and try to do so without complaining, as “ideal” as this may sound.

hugs,
suZen
suzen´s last post…Cheap Peeps

By: Lance

Lance — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 22:06:17 +0000

Hey Tess,
There’s something about keeping our word, about doing what we say we will. Such an important part of living a life that is filled just doing the right thing. It reminds me of an organization I have been involved with for many years at our local elementary school. And – we had reached the point where our kids were nearly done with it. And I was burned out. So – the easy thing would have been to have walked away. I have certainly witnessed this over the years, with this group – on a smaller level. Today, I’m happy to say that I have found someone who is passionate about this group, and is taking the lead in wonderful ways. And – I can easily now step back and away from this commitment. As much of a challenge as the last year or so has been, being where this group is today feels really good.

And – good on you, Tess, for sticking with this – even when it was challenging. As hard as it may be to hear the critique you had to share – the gift is in what you have given so that the end product will truly shine!
Lance´s last post…Reflecting On It All