12 Tips To Be Bold & Set Your Heart On Fire

by Tess on March 10, 2009

Is Love in the Cards? (218/365) (064/365) [Explored]
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 photo credit: kimberlyfaye 

Is your primary relationship struggling right along with the economy? Do you worry, stress and fill your free time listening to negative media making it the primary topic in your home?

Is the economy killing your sex life?

If your answer is yes the following 12 Tips can help you get out of your slump and in the mood. You may not have control over the stock market but you do have control of the following:

Be Friends. Treat each other like best friends. Smile and show interest in each others lives.  Suggest and plan fun things to do together. Dress up and look good for each other. Smell good as well! When you look good you feel good. You have the power to bring a spark to the relationship and ignite the fire.

Lighten Up. Refuse to take life so seriously. Stop watching the news and quit worrying about the economy. It is what it is. Do something about what is in your control and let go of the rest. Take one day, hour or minute at a time.

Don’t Keep Score. Go the extra mile, again and again and again. One up each other only when it comes to kindness. Learn to recognize when you need to let things go. Surrender. Forgive.

Express Love Often. Look for ways to be loving. Think and speak loving thoughts. Write love notes. Make love. Be the first to initiate loving acts in every area of your lives.

Express Yourself, Heart to Heart. Don’t expect someone to know what you’re thinking. Become an expert at speaking up and listening. Have empathy and compassion for each other.

Create a safe place where expressing oneself is honored. Sit facing each other knees touching, one person talks the other listens. Then reverse it.

 Give each other positive feedback. Use please, thank you, I’m sorry, that’s great, and other uplifting phrases. Memorize them and practice them daily.

Over Look the Small Stuff. We all have things that bug us about the other. Pick up his shoes even though they’re his. Put oil in her car even thought it’s hers. Help each other. Look for opportunities to help each other.

Be Low Maintenance. My husband has always called me low maintenance and a “cheap date” because I don’t  demand a lot of things. I can go withut manicures, pedicures, and the latest and the greatest gadgets and stuff. On special occasions I allow him to treat me. Keep it simple and you’ll have less stress.

Make Him/Her Look Good. Look for opportunities to praise your significant other. Always give them the credit and let others know how great he/she is. They will shine so bright it will reflect back on you. Always speak kindly to and about each other.

Play. Find methods to have fun even when money is scarce. We played cards on a card table (also our kitchen table) when we were young. Any time spent in nature is free. Walk in the rain, hike a mountain, take your bikes and run errands. With a playful attitude even work can be fun.

Be Grateful Together. Together talk about what you are grateful for and how blessed you are. Do this for 10 minutes every evening. It will put you in a sweet slumber.

Let Go of Being “Right.” Ask yourself, In thT Big Picture Is This Really Important?” If not let it go. Refuse to have the last word. Be happy to give it away.

Treasure Each Other. When you treasure each other you both feel valued, important and precious. Tell the other person, “I treasure you!” Your relationship will be strong and healthy. Your focus will be on the positive and what’s right.

How are you keeping the sparks burning in your relationship?

What do you do to keep things positive when your partner is feeling down?

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    { 19 comments… read them below or add one }

    Daphne March 10, 2009 at 5:53 pm


    This is beautiful and practical. I said to myself at Be Friends “wow” then at Don’t Keep Score “gosh, I need to hear this” then at Express Yourself “oops, need to remember that” and basically found each point excellent until I read the next point which bowled me over even more. I love the way you laid it out so simply.

    Post is Stumbled!

    Daphne’s last blog post..Last Call for Personal Creeds!


    Tasha March 10, 2009 at 6:21 pm

    This list was something I really needed to read! My husband is away from home for work right now, and it’s these times that really make us realize how the little stuff really doesn’t matter, and how blessed we are to have each other….now we just need to remember it when we’re not apart! I’m going to post a link on my blog! Thanks!!! ~Tasha

    Tasha’s last blog post..the great and powerful television


    Patricia March 10, 2009 at 8:55 pm

    My partner is back at work again tonight – trying to keep 12 families fed and sheltered through this famine period. In 30 years, we have weathered a number of these times, and I do not worry that we will not make it through this time.
    It is now real that he will have to work until he is at least 72 to pay off our child’s medical expenses and he actually may never be able to retire if this famine does hold on all year….
    I am very encouraging and supportive and working on new ideas and helping him follow through on changes – and even answering the phone for free…

    He can’t seem to be happy that I am going to Scotland for my 60th birthday – as a matter of fact he seems so angry about it – so I guess I will have to go with out his blessing or joy tucked in my suitcase and after 33 years that makes me very sad.

    I have done a lot of extra side work to earn this trip and last year he could have just written a check and come along. I don’t want to give up my trip to pay more bills, but it would be so lovely if there was some joy – I think it is the economy that pushes his anger about this trip.

    ah me 33 years I think we will weather this too.

    It was nice to say this out loud…or write it here. Thank you

    Patricia’s last blog post..“My Neighborhood Looks Like a Snow Globe!”


    Tess March 11, 2009 at 6:53 am

    Thank you. You know things are good and right when they are simple. Our egos love it when we are creating, chaos, fear and craziness when the only thing we need to do is be more understanding and loving.


    I’m glad my words help. The media pounds us (or tries to) daily with negative stuff. If we are involved in watching, reading or listening to it we tend to do it to each other. Thanks for the link! I appreciate your help.

    Thanks for stopping by. Continue to bless him and his work with loving thoughts. I know you do!


    Dustin @ Beating the Grind March 11, 2009 at 7:18 am


    Thanks for the suggestions. I will definitely be using these with my girlfriend!

    I enjoy the diversity of material this site offers. Talk to you later!

    Dustin @ Beating the Grind’s last blog post..5 Powerful Strategies for Lifestyle Entrepreneurs


    Eric Hamm | Motivate Thyself March 11, 2009 at 8:55 am

    Being low maintenance can be hard when you tend to be a very particular person. But I certainly agree that it’s a loving thing to do/be. The more requirements you bestow on your loved ones, the more stress you add to their lives.

    Excellent insight, Tess! Eric

    Eric Hamm | Motivate Thyself’s last blog post..The Secret To Happiness | Community Insight


    Tess March 11, 2009 at 9:21 am


    Your will see your relationship grow and grow. You get out what you put in!

    I know this better than anyone. I’m the one who has the most requirements. I’m constantly letting them go only to have them creep up again. Arrgghhh!


    Jannie Funster March 11, 2009 at 10:04 am

    All WONDERFUL points!!

    I love the lighten-up philosophy. I use it with our daughter too, works wonders.

    My sweet guy is getting over the flu so I’ve had a chance to be extra sweet to him. I want to continue on, great to be reminded of these, Tess. Thanks, love guru.

    Jannie Funster’s last blog post..Song Quest Two


    Julie March 11, 2009 at 1:23 pm

    Tess, I love this list. I’m like Daphne, thinking each one’s better than the previous. When I’m pulled in lots of directions and I’m tired at the end of the day, it’s sometimes hard to remember to be our best. This phrase really struck me: “Go the extra mile, again and again and again.” It should be an easy mantra to remember. ;) Thanks!

    Julie’s last blog post..In Others’ Words


    Tess March 11, 2009 at 1:51 pm

    You are hilarious. I can’t imagine you anything but lightened up!


    I put that about the extra mile because I can get lazy! I remind myself all the time!


    Lance March 11, 2009 at 2:38 pm

    Hi Tess,

    LOVE-ly!! Your list is…

    These are all great – whether the economy is in the tank or not. My wife is low maintenance, and I wonder if I start to take that for granted? And playing cards – we do that today – with a group of friends. Bring an appetizer and you’re good to go for the whole evening – lots and lots of fun.

    Thanks you, Love Dr., you’re awesome!!

    Lance’s last blog post..Finding Balance In The Jungle


    Tess March 11, 2009 at 3:33 pm

    Flattery gets you everywhere. Lucky you to have that group of friends. My goal this year is to find 5 new friends. I need people who think like me and are happy.


    Frances March 12, 2009 at 5:26 am

    Wow, this is a great list. These things are so easy to overlook, yet so important to remember. Thanks for this.

    Frances’s last blog post..5 Things to be Happy About Right Now


    janice March 12, 2009 at 6:27 am

    Great list Tess! For those folk with kids, one I’d add would be make sure you praise your loved one in front of your kids and tell them constantly what you value and appreciate. I’m a stay at home mum, so I always make sure that our kids appreciate what their dad does for our family. He glows when he knows we never take him for granted, especially in such tough financial times, and it helps him lay aside his tiredness.


    Tess March 12, 2009 at 7:02 am

    I couldn’t have said it better myself. Thanks for joining in!


    Jay March 12, 2009 at 2:31 pm

    Be friends is my favorite. Sometimes I sit in a large group of people where we are all sitting and no one is talking, and I want very much to say “How is everyone doing today? Who wants to chat?- I will do it someday- the feeling gets stronger every time. :-)
    Thanks Tess- I love this!

    Jay’s last blog post..How to Save the World


    Miche | Serenity Hacker December 5, 2009 at 3:28 pm

    Hi Tess, great post and tips! I just followed the link here from Suzanne at http://tcoyou.com on marriage and relationships. This post is a keeper, thanks!

    Miche :)
    Miche | Serenity Hacker´s last post…Regaining Inner Peace, Clarity and Focus When You’re Busy: Walking Gratitude Meditation My ComLuv Profile


    Ephantus February 20, 2010 at 12:28 am

    This is truly inspiring, at times like this when things tend to go someway you do not. The post will make you realize just how you may be missing a lot in making someone happy and make yourself happy also.
    It brings instant smiles in couples face.
    Which in turn will make life seem more interesting.
    Thanks for the uplifting message.


    Lauren April 5, 2010 at 4:51 pm

    Excellent! Great advice for couples! The only thing is I like being medium maintenance! ;-p
    Lauren´s last post…Can You Think Outside the Box? My ComLuv Profile


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