Fearlessness

Lately I’ve felt tired, down and fearful, anything but bold and successful. For many years, I didn’t allow myself to feel those emotions. I thought of them as negative energy. I pushed through things no matter what. Now I know that they offer me the opportunity to slow down, go within and reflect on my life. ... [Read more]

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bold and successful life

Lately I’ve felt tired, down and fearful, anything but bold and successful. For many years, I didn’t allow myself to feel those emotions. I thought of them as negative energy. I pushed through things no matter what.

Now I know that they offer me the opportunity to slow down, go within and reflect on my life. In giving them my attention, they lose their power over me.

Now I see these feelings and emotions as experiences bearing gifts. They bring me back to connectedness, aliveness and joy.

If you want to live a bold and successful life, it’s important to acknowledge and feel all of your emotions. All 7.2 billion people on the planet have them. You are not alone.

A bold and successful life isn’t all about happiness, rainbows and unicorns. It’s necessary to learn to relax, lean into your fear and breathe through your sadness.

The following steps will help you be bold and successful: Think in terms of success.

It was Paul Brandt who said: “Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon.” The only limits that exist are the ones you create in your mind. Create positive expectations and stretch to a new place. When fear and doubt arise, ask yourself, “What if this works out?” “What if the answer is yes?” “What if I get invited to come back?”

Create a spectacular future. The choices I make today design my tomorrows. If I want something different, I need to do something different. If you spend eight hours a day at work, seven hours sleeping, three hours cooking and eating, and one hour exercising, you still have five hours to dedicate to your dream.

That’s 35 hours a week! Stop your excuses, quiet your fears and get started today.

Design your dream life. If your life is the same in one year as it is now can you be okay with that? Know what you want. Write down a plan for each area of your life: physical, emotional, spiritual, work, relationships, travel, etc. Set goals. Take action. Begin where you are with what you have. Your destiny is in your hands.

It was Jesse Owens, son of a sharecropper and grandson of a slave who said, “We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort.” Get started on your dream life today!

Commit to doing the difficult things. Learn a language. Invent something new. Hire a coach. Introduce yourself to new people. Get your creative energy into overdrive. Shake things up. A Napalese proverb sums it up best, “When two paths open before you, take the harder one.” No whining or complaining. Take 100% responsibility for your amazing life.

Learn through adversity. When things go well, I can get lazy and complacent. I can believe my own hype and stroke my own ego. Challenging times force me out of my comfort zone. Adversity propels me forward. I grow in ways that I previously thought impossible.

No one articulates this better than Elisabeth Kubler-Ross: “The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” 

Leave a legacy. Our culture leads us to believe that self-worth comes from acquisition and consumption. Our true worth comes from how we add value to the world. My legacy is about service, contribution, love and the relationships I have with my family, friends and community. Musician Bob Marley suggests that you “open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you’re living?”

Become grateful in advance.  No matter what is going on in your life today, become grateful in advance. There is a natural order to things in the world. When you believe things will work out, they do. Act as if there were nothing wrong with your life. Believe that the universe is plotting to do you good. 

Catholic Benedictine monk, David Steindl-Rast believes, “Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy — because we will always want to have something else or something more.” 

 

How many of your thoughts are fearful? I want you to notice how many times per day you find yourself fearfully obsessing about what might or might not happen in your life.  Do you worry everyday about your job, children, life partner or your business? Notice what you fear the most and how often you ... [Read more]

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change your relationship to fear

How many of your thoughts are fearful? I want you to notice how many times per day you find yourself fearfully obsessing about what might or might not happen in your life. 

Do you worry everyday about your job, children, life partner or your business? Notice what you fear the most and how often you recycle the same fears.

Track your fears in a notebook or on your phone. Become aware of just how fearful you really are.

Living in fear is an addiction. Worrying about the future is worthless. It’s a choice to hang on to fear. It’s what we tend to do when we think we’re unworthy, incapable or unwilling to surrender.

Would you be willing to put the same time, effort and energy into your personal growth, living your dream or helping others?

How would your life be different if you changed your relationship to fear?

Take a few minutes today and get a clear picture of what your world might look like. What would you be doing differently?

Fear steals our energy, our dreams and our opportunities. Fear keeps us stuck in procrastination, projection and a self-made prison. It distorts our past, present and future. Fear is blinding and binding.

It’s time to shake things up and change your relationship with fear. Here’s how:

1. Dig deep for courage and confidence. Remind yourself of previous brave times. It’s time to take the action that you need to make living more enjoyable, adventurous and fun.

2. When you feel better go back to your plan. Stop taking phone calls and stop reading emails. Stop working. Sit with yourself in a quiet space and go within. Breathe. Pray. Meditate. 

3. Tell fear to take a back seat. Nip it in the bud. Don’t give it the breathing room to survive. Starve it and allow it to shrink to nothing.

4. Let go of your story. Tell fear, “The End!” Focus on the task or step in front of you. Relax into the moment. That’s where life happens.

5. Lean into your fear. Ride it out. It will lead you to your next step, a potential gain, new knowledge or a bigger perspective.

6. Stop making it hard. Change your thoughts and believe! If you want it to be easy, belief that it can be. Don’t listen to everything your mind says. Talk back to it.

7. Write down what has gone right in your world for the last 24 hours. We usually focus on a problem or two, and forget all of the good stuff. 

8. Write down what you got right in the last 24 hours. Forgive yourself for what you did wrong or any mistakes you’ve made. Count your successes. What did you do right? Miracles happen when you shift your perception. 

9. Do something that scares you. Show fear who’s the boss. You’ll get more confident and stronger. You will grow your courage muscles, spirit and dreams.

10. Bet on yourself. Believe that you’ll be able to handle whatever comes up. Know that you can get through anything. Talk yourself out of your fear. Think, speak and act your way to success.

11. Get help. Take a course. Create a plan. You are the inventor. You determind your future. Make it grand!

 12. Venture beyond known territories. Visit new places. Make amazing friends. Try something new. Stretch your limits. Widen your comfort zone. Make life exciting. Be courageous. There’s a whole new world waiting for you!

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My e-courses are available at over 70% off! You don’t have to spend a ton of money to get beyond your fear. Grab one and begin now!

My best work is my course, 30 Days of Bold: Feeling Excited And Ready. Check it out. Today is the best time to begin something new!
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9 Things You Need To Know To Begin Again

We have it in our power to begin again.  Tragedy happens. People die. Relationships end. Jobs are lost. Parenting feels like a thankless job. The life you have may not be like you expected it to be. Pain, loss, setbacks and disappointment are a part of life. You feel paralyzed by fear. Life isn’t always ... [Read more]

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begin again

We have it in our power to begin again

Tragedy happens. People die. Relationships end. Jobs are lost. Parenting feels like a thankless job. The life you have may not be like you expected it to be.

Pain, loss, setbacks and disappointment are a part of life. You feel paralyzed by fear.

Life isn’t always smooth sailing.

Sometimes, when things get tough and the pain feels unbearable, you only need to take the step in front of you.

Be courageous. Decide to take one step at a time. Move through your fear. Choose to begin again.

One step at a time is enough for the path in front of you to become clear. Eventually the light will shine again. I can promise you that.

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My e-courses are available at over 70% off! You don’t have to spend a ton of money to get beyond your fear. Grab one and begin now!

My best work is my course, 30 Days of Bold: Feeling Excited And Ready. Check it out. Today is the best time to begin something new!
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Begin again when:

You lose a friend or two. Things change, they move on. You’re cut off. Mourn. Make new friends. Begin again.

You lose a job or get laid off. You make a bad investment and you’re drowning in debt. Reinvent yourself. Begin again.

You end a relationship or your spouse files for divorce. Your adult children won’t speak to you. Forgive everyone.  Include yourself. Begin again.

You fail. You mess up a project. Nobody cares. You lose your time, energy and money. Learn from it. Begin again.

You are angry. You were overcharged. You lost your receipt. The line is long. You’re kicking yourself. Let it go. Begin again.

You feel distant from people. You ignore the ones you love. You meet your friends for a drink. One turns into five. Stop drinking. Get help. Begin again.

You get sick. A friend gets cancer. Your pet is aging. A parent dies. You question the meaning of life.  Be kind to yourself. Begin again.

You are exhausted. Your sink is clogged. The car is in the shop. You’re behind in your house payments. Make a plan. Begin again.

You gain weight. You’re too tired to exercise. You are unmotivated. You’re dying inside. Take a deep breath and one tiny step. Begin again.

You cannot quit crying. Your son is on drugs. Your purse is missing. You feel like a failure. You hate life. Reach out. Begin again.

You cannot calm down or get it together. You isolate and sleep too much. You feel like a mess. Make a plan. Begin again.

The difficult times are the very ones that can break us open and help us blossom. ~ Elizabeth Lesser

Here’s how to begin again:

Surround yourself with people who care. Allow yourself to lean on someone. You don’t have to suffer or struggle alone. Receive the kindness that others offer you. Simply say thank you.

Sit in silence. Don’t numb you pain. Get quiet. Let it bubble up. Breathe. Lean into it. Keep breathing. It will pass.

Change your perspective. Replace your fear with love. Commit to love. Love is an attitude. Love is a verb or a way of life. Love is an activity. Participate in it. Your world will change.

Surrender. Don’t hang on to anger. When you feel like you are being unfairly treated or when you feel like you’ve been left behind, surrender. Trust the process.  Life has an ebb and flow. This too shall pass. It always has. It always will.

Take good care of yourself. Go to the gym. Eat right. Get enough sleep. Pamper yourself. In difficult times be your own best friend.

Get help. Find a support group. Hire a coach. See a therapist. You may want someone to help you sort things out. You can’t see the whole picture. You may not know how to start over. Reach out.

Take responsibility. It’s up to you to be strong and keep going. It’s up to you to make a plan. Nobody is coming to save you.

Help others. There is always someone who needs help even more than you do. Being of service will leave you with a natural high. Look around and find someone who needs you.

Find joy and lightness. Look for a reason to smile. Notice beauty everywhere. Take long walks. Watch small children play. There is meaning and beauty to be found even in the midst of pain. 

The wonderful thing about life is that you can begin again anytime you wish. You can wipe the slate clean. Get back on the horse. Carry on. Again. And again. And again. Isn’t life grand?

The one thing that every human being has in common is that we all want to be loved. Some may not know this and others may deny this but it’s the truth. There are only two emotions, love and fear. If you know this and believe this, you’d think it would be easy to choose ... [Read more]

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holding hands

The one thing that every human being has in common is that we all want to be loved. Some may not know this and others may deny this but it’s the truth.

There are only two emotions, love and fear. If you know this and believe this, you’d think it would be easy to choose love over fear.

But it’s not.

We’ve been told since childhood not to trust strangers and that some people are bad or not equal to others. Teachers often support our parents' beliefs.

We also live in a culture of fear. We are taught to be afraid of crime, kidnapping, minorities, ex-inmates, germs, terrorism and drugs. Society is manipulated by fear tactics. Fear sells and people and organizations profit from it.

In The Culture of Fear, sociologist Barry Glassner demonstrates that it is our perception of danger that has increased, not the actual level of risk.

If we are going to learn to consistently choose love over fear we have to stop listening to the negative media. We need to remember that we are intelligent people who can think for ourselves. We don’t have to follow the herd.

Fear keeps us disconnected, isolated and confused. Fear keeps us stuck in debt, addiction and scarcity-thinking. Fear keeps us in the future. Fear breeds more fear.

We don’t have to live in fear. It’s a choice.

I choose love. Love keeps us united, connected and content. Love allows us to feel seen, heard and secure. Love promotes service and collaboration.

I was blessed in my late twenties to find teachers, mentors and friends who showed me the path to love. Over the years this knowledge has allowed me to grow deeper in love with myself, life and the rest of the world.

If you would like to feel more love and less fear, you may find these tips helpful:

1. Open your mind and heart. Be open to a new way. Letting go of deep-rooted fear isn’t easy. It takes practice. Listen more and judge less. Initiate conversations and friendships with people who are different from you. Give others the benefit of the doubt.  Expect others to be kind and loving. Drop your preconceived notions.

2. Turn on your love faucet. Be kind. Train yourself to think and speak lovingly. Look for people who need your help. Be generous. Be of service. Those who have more must give more. Set the example. Go the extra mile.

3. Change your beliefs. Write down what you believe about crime, drugs, different countries, other races, poverty, etc. Choose to change your negative beliefs. Believe in the good in the world and in others. Look for proof to back up your new-found beliefs.

4. Keep a journal. At the end of the day, write down the love you experienced. Write down the kindness you witnessed. Write down the love you’ve seen expressed. What you focus on expands. When you look for love, you’ll find it.

5. Give the love you want to experience. Be the first to offer to help. Hold the door open for strangers. Look people in the eye and be the first to say hello. Love is a verb. Take action.

6. Appreciate the ones you’re with. Focus on others' strengths. Refuse to criticize. Be the first person to declare and demonstrate your love to your friends and family members.  Don’t ever hold back or withdraw your love. Be grateful for all the people in the world who love you.

7. Love yourself. Begin today. Speak well of yourself. Praise yourself. Celebrate yourself. Be willing to put yourself first. If it’s true that we can’t love anyone until we love ourselves, no wonder there’s a dearth of love being expressed in the world. Meet your own needs. Make it your no. 1 priority.

There is no reason to feel alone and unloved. There is no excuse not to be more loving. Make your choice for love today. Take a stand. Give love. Express love. Be love, loving. A whole new world awaits you.

Overcome Fear and Claim Your Abundance

Do you have the guts to claim your abundance? How many times have you walked away from what was rightfully yours?  My daughter works for Southwest Airlines. As her parent, I can fly standby, free of charge, so long as there is an empty seat on the plane. But there is a pecking order: employees ... [Read more]

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southwest airplane

Do you have the guts to claim your abundance? How many times have you walked away from what was rightfully yours? 

My daughter works for Southwest Airlines. As her parent, I can fly standby, free of charge, so long as there is an empty seat on the plane. But there is a pecking order: employees have first dibs, then parents and then those with buddy passes.   

When I want to fly, I have to arrive at the gate two hours early and ask to be put on the standby list. It’s best to be first on the list. 

Ten minutes before the plane leaves, the flight attendant calls out the names on the list and announces who gets a seat. 

A few weeks ago, I was flying from Portland, OR. to Phoenix, AZ. There was a flight leaving at 6:00 am. I arrived at the airport at 3:30 am, allowing plenty of time to get through security and to the gate. 

I was in line with one other parent. I tried to start a conversation with her but she was not interested.

An hour and 50 minutes later, 10 more people were standing in line with us. It was crazy busy and the air was filled with anticipation and anxiety. I had a good feeling about getting on and remained calm.

At the last minute, the other parent looked at me and told me her daughter was having surgery in a couple of days and she was on her way to be with her. She had her fingers crossed. 

Two seconds later, the flight attendant announced there was one empty seat available and called my name. I was on! 

I felt compassion for the woman who didn’t get on the plane. I know the feeling of disappointment from past experience. 

Yesterday, I was flying from Detroit, Michigan to Phoenix, Arizona with Hubs. Again, we arrived early and already there were several people in line for standby. Again, I had a good feeling that we’d both be getting seats. 

There were only three empty seats. Ten minutes before take-off, the flight attendant called Hubs. Then another mother who was traveling with her young son was called. But her son was not. They couldn’t travel together because the third name on the list was mine. 

It was clear they were both upset. The flight attendant explained that she had to follow the order of the list and that her son was after me. 

When the woman decided not to get on the plane without her son, I was assigned the last seat! I cheerfully took it. 

We’ve been flying free and standby for nearly seven years. There have only been a handful of times when we didn’t get on. We know from experience the best times and days to fly. We know what cities to avoid. 

We know how to show up and claim our abundance.

Holding back out of fear 

There are times in life when we hold back and miss out because of fear, guilt or feelings of unworthiness. At the same time, we complain, whine and feel left out or unfairly treated.

How you may be resisting your abundance: 

  • You don’t put yourself first because you feel undeserving or unworthy. 
  • You turn away help and support because you insist on doing things yourself. 
  • You have too many false beliefs: I can’t. I’m afraid. There’s not enough for me.
  • You say “no thank you” when you are offered what you want.
  • You don’t ask for your needs to be met even though others are willing to meet them.
  • You don’t accept compliments or gifts.
  • You take a back seat because you’re afraid of being seen and heard.
  • You turn down a job because you don’t feel qualified.
  • You make excuses about why something can’t be done.
  • You see the cup half empty instead of overflowing.
  • You hold back out of your need for perfection. 

There are infinite possibilities, opportunities and blessings waiting for everyone. Everyone is worthy and deserving. Everyone has the right to flourish. 

How you can step up and claim your good: 

Be bold. Don’t be afraid to go first, stand out or be heard. When an opportunity presents itself, put your name on it. Claim it. 

Be a giver. Help others get what they want. Be kind. Give of your time, talents and money. Never pass up an opportunity to be generous. Givers always gain. 

Don’t be afraid to fail. So what if you make a mistake? So what if you fail. Rise up again. Keep trying. What’s possible for others is possible for you. 

Don’t be afraid of success. Know that things will change as you succeed. You’ll be required to leave behind familiar people, places and things.

Expect good things to happen. Stop imagining the worst. Believe that the best is yet to come. Anticipate your needs being met. 

Be open to receive. Learn to say “yes please!” Go through life with an open heart and open hands. 

Let go of false beliefs. Believe in yourself and your dreams. Do what it takes to think, speak and act in a positive manner. Don’t underestimate your abilities and strengths. 

Release perfection. Get out of your own way. Start where you are and do your best. Let the rest go. You can improve as you go. 

Take responsibility for your life. Be willing to go the extra mile. Stop making excuses. Quit whining and complaining. No matter how difficult it gets, keep going. 

Abundance is everywhere. When you are afraid, muster up a few minutes of courage, face your fear and move beyond it.  That’s where breakthroughs happen. That’s when you notice unlimited good. Each step out of your comfort zone expands your growth, expands your life and expands you abundance. Don’t miss out!

Share you thoughts below.

Please help spread my message by sharing on Twitter and Facebook! I’m forever grateful to all bold life peeps, the wonderful flight attendants and Southwest Airlines!