A guest post by Dani DiPirro
Everyone loves the idea of happily ever after, of embarking on a path of love that they hope will last forever. But whether you had to overcome obstacles to be together or your eyes fatefully met across a crowded room, what happens after that first momentary flush of love?
How do you get from that to a kind of love that’s even more beautiful (if less flashy): a long-lasting, true love that can withstand the (many!) tests of time?
Being with someone forever means you will face a lot of challenges together, both as individuals and together, within your relationship. Ideally, these challenges – and the process of overcoming them together – add value to your relationship, making it more robust.
But that’s possible only if you can keep showing each other how much love you have between you. You might do it with flowers or kisses, or you might find kind words or supportive acts – but most significantly you can continue to show your love through the way you interact with one another.
Reminder: My 4-week program, A Course On Love: A Wise Heart for a Bold Life is still available! Fill your life with the people and love you deserve! Check it out here.
There are a myriad of wonderful ways in which to show love in a relationship, but I think four are particularly effective. As a bonus, I’ve given them a particularly memorable acronym – L.O.V.E.
It is said that laughter is the best medicine – and I believe laughter is one of the best ways to keep your relationship healthy. When you laugh, you feel good; when you hear other people laughing, you also feel good.
So when you laugh with those you love, you create good feeling between the two of you. The more positive interactions you have, the stronger your relationship becomes, and shared laughter is one of the most important positive interactions out there.
Of course, this counts only if the laughter is filled with joy and positivity, rather than being malicious or spiteful, so try to encourage laughter in a positive way (for example, while watching a funny TV show or sharing stories, not while mocking your socially awkward cousin!).
An opportunity can be transforming – it can change a whole life. And although it might not seem the most romantic way to demonstrate your love, offering your partner opportunities – perhaps to
do something they love but you don’t care much for, or even to pursue a new career by carrying the financial burden for a while (among myriad other possibilities) – opens your heart and expresses your love.
Another opportunity you could offer your loved one is a chance to get to know more about you – sharing more of yourself will bring them closer to you and facilitate a stronger bond in your relationship.
Most people – whether they’ll admit it or not – seek some sort of validation to confirm they are worthy of love and support. Validating someone’s actions – and even their existence – is a superb way to show love.
This might be in the form of those three little words – “I love you” – or it could be in a more tangible way, such as highlighting your partner’s strengths to other people or listening attentively to what your partner has to say. Validation expresses your love on a deeper level.
It says, “You matter. You count. You are important to me.”
Offering what you know to those you love creates new pathways of openness, understanding and shared knowledge.
When someone you love shares information with you – especially information that makes you feel more enlightened about yourself and the world – that is an act of love in itself.
When someone enlightens you in some way, you feel more connected to and inspired by them.
When you transform someone else’s view of the world, whether that’s through a great life lesson or by giving them a simple trick for making supper more efficiently, that act of love continues to create your own happily ever after.
Dani DiPirro is an author, blogger, designer, and founder of Positively Present. Her latest book, The Positively Present Guide to Life, debuted in March 2015. For more insights on positive living and to learn more about Dani and her work as a graphic designer/illustrator, check out www.DaniDiPirro.com.
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