Life becomes less of a struggle when you realize that not everyone will like you and not everyone has your back. There will always be naysayers. Trying to figure out why is a waste of time. Trying to change these two facts is a waste of energy.
I got pregnant when I was 17 and married my boyfriend. When I was 22 years old, I was a mom to four daughters under the age of four. My third pregnancy was twins.
Many of our relatives were naysayers. They had very pessimistic opinions and views about our lives.
They weren’t for me, they didn’t help me, and they didn’t think we’d make it. I was deeply saddened and hurt because by this, but I was too crazy-busy with the work that laid ahead of me to dwell on it.
Like Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide upon, there will always be someone to tell you that you are wrong.”
When you choose an uncommon path you’ll push the buttons of people who won’t step outside of conformity and who want to stay stuck in mediocrity. They don’t question, they condemn.
Some non-supportive people lack joy, love, passion and meaning in their lives. Free spirits push their buttons.
Nobody has the right to impose their doubts, fears and negativity on your experience.
It’s your life.
You create the rules. You’re in charge.
Today, I’m still married and I have all of the freedom that I lacked when I was young. Naysayers are usually proven wrong!
I’m currently on a quest to fly to every city Southwest Airlines flies into. There are 5 countries, 90 destinations and counting. I’m going to do an act of kindness in each place and stay with an online friend in each city.
As part of this quest, Hubs and I flew into Los Angles on Sunday. We wanted to go to Agape and attend Michael Beckwith’s service. It was both mind-blowing and heart-opening!
After the service, we went to the Farmer’s Market and had lunch. My random act of kindness was purchasing a pizza for a homeless man. He was delighted.
The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. ~ Walter Bagehot
Here’s how to protect yourself from the naysayers:
1. Consider not sharing. Don’t give non-supportive people the opportunity to squelch your dreams. Some are just afraid of change, failure and even life itself. Be kind. Ask others about their lives and really listen. Find other things to discuss.
2. Don’t defend your dream. People will hear about your plans and give you their unsolicited opinions and advice. Don’t try to win anyone over. Don’t try to convince anyone of anything. It’s a waste of time. Change the subject. Talk about the weather or walk away. Naysayers don’t get it and that’s okay.
3. Don’t get hurt or angry. Don’t take things personally. What someone says or does is about them. How you react is about you. React by taking consistent action. Dare to risk. Decide to be happy and courageous. Save your energy for adventure!
4. Look beyond the negative advice. How is this non-supportive person living their life? Do they dream big and take action? Or are they stuck in a going-nowhere job or a toxic relationship? Is their advice valid or a reflection of their fears?
5. Don’t take on anybody’s fear. Don’t listen to the news or read it online. It’s tempting to fall into worry and doubt. Choose faith instead. Nobody can make you afraid. You choose your feelings. Create a success story and play it repeatedly in your mind. Feel great about the exciting future you have planned for yourself.
6. Stay away from people who aren’t for you. Don’t let your friends or family members bring you down or keep you from your one wild and precious life. Find others who are on a similar journey. Spend time with like-minded people.
7. Don’t be your own worst naysayer. Believe in yourself. Trust that you’ll be guided on your journey. Believe that you’re worthy of an abundant and prosperous life. Expect the best and bet on yourself.
8. Don’t forget that you’re the person with the power. Stay focused on your dreams and the life that you want. Don’t replay negative conversations and comments in your head. Talk back to your doubts and fears. Replace them with affirmations. Keep the end picture in mind.
9. Inspire yourself. Give yourself the approval you need. Read about others on the same path. Listen to podcasts and Ted Talks. Read books about people who have succeeded. Learn from those who are already doing what you want to do.
10. Work hard. Stay the course. Do what it takes. Take calculated risks. Ask for help. Commit. Take good care of yourself. There will always be doubters and non-believers; bless them on your way.
11. Learn to live in joy. When you fall into fear, do what it takes to change your energy and mood to a positive state.
Before flying home we had lunch at the Los Angeles Farmer’s Market.
I grew up on an 88-acre produce farm. My siblings and I sold fruits and vegtables at the farmer’s market several times a week. Visiting one today never fails to bring back some of my favorite memories.
Live a life of no regrets. You only need your own approval. Keep on keepin’ on!
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