Passing Judgment? Just Like Me!

“The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the quality of your relationships.” ~ A. Robbins

When I choose to change what I don’t like about myself, it’s easier to see the bright, the positive and the loving sides of the people close to me.

The quality of our lives, depend on the quality of our relationships. The people closest to us offer us our biggest lessons.   

Try adding the words “just like me” to your judgments. Then take the time to change your perception. Choose to see the positive in yourself and others and watch your world change.

Please share your your thoughts below.

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  • Dan July 21, 2013, 9:03 pm

    Yes, I’ve found huge success with adding examples from my own life when engaging in motivational interviewing with clients. It’s helps to remove the client’s potential reaction of “I’m being judged” when you’re trying to give constructive feedback

  • Fran Sorin July 22, 2013, 1:20 am

    Tess –

    How true about how our judgments are a reflection of ourselves. I not only keep tabs on myself in close relationships but also, even with strangers. If I pass someone and think ”how did they let themselves get so fat or why are they walking slowly” – when i take to reflect, I become quite clear on what the underneath is about ~

    • Tess July 22, 2013, 2:31 pm

      Fran,
      Thanks for sharing your own struggles. It’s amazing how compassionate I’ve become due to these three words! xo

  • Cathy Taughinbaugh July 22, 2013, 10:51 am

    Hi Tess,

    I agree that when we judge others, it is usually about something we don’t like about ourselves. Your video is a helpful reminder and I like the line, “Just like me.” It brings it all home again. Thank you.

    • Tess July 22, 2013, 2:32 pm

      Cathy,

      That’s a good way to put it…it brings it all home again! It sure does. xo

  • Farnoosh July 25, 2013, 11:41 am

    I have never ever EVER judged anyone.

    😉 Just kidding …. I love this video Tess and the look in the mirror… Byron Katie talks about this all the time and you are a beautiful reminder of this. Linking up to you in my post right now.

    • Tess July 25, 2013, 11:51 am

      Farnoosh,

      You’re the best! This really increases the love in my primary relationship!!! One can’t go wrong. Thanks for your friendship and link love!

      • Halina Goldstein July 26, 2013, 1:12 am

        How interesting, Farnoosh!

        I haven’t been here for a while and this is the first video I see with Tess – and I love it by the way! There is something about Tess that reminds me of Byron Katie. It’s the vibe as much as the words.

        Even if Tess is simply Tess! 🙂

  • Halina Goldstein July 26, 2013, 1:20 am

    Hi Tess,

    Wonderful video – thank you so much for adding that dimension here – it’s wonderful to experience more of you this way!

    While certainly taking it to my heart, I also tend to read/watch through the eyes of “my people”, widows that is. And what strikes me is that what you’re pointing to is a process that they are being “forced to” by life itself:

    When you no longer have your loved one around, much of what you project will have to be taken home. That includes both judgment and love… So it’s an invitation to a new way of relating to yourself and others, equally challenging, transforming and rewarding.

    Thank you Tess!

  • Leonard Thompson Jr July 31, 2013, 12:25 pm

    Tess. your video got me thinking about two things:
    Trains and Mirrors
    When I was in college, I took Septa ( transit system in Philadelphia) daily. I rode the train all day long…to school, to internship then to my girlfriend’s home then back home.
    One day I realized that in many ways relationships are like trains.
    They take you places.
    And if you board the wrong one, it may take you to a place you do not want to go.
    I honestly attribute the quality of my life and the happiness I have to my insistence in only having friendships with incredible and positive people.
    These friends and loved ones challenge me, edify me and show me areas i need to grow in.
    They are like excellent mirrors- showing me my areas of strength as well as those areas, and shortcomings where I need to grow.

    thanks for the video Tess

    Leonard

    • Tess July 31, 2013, 12:38 pm

      Leonard,
      Wow you’re very wise. I love the analogy with trains! Thanks so much for sharing!

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