27 Top Bloggers and Writers Share About Fearless Living


fearless

The following are thoughts and quotes on fear from some of my favorite authors, writers, and bloggers.

Fear often has us feeling very alone. If we have experienced trauma in our life, this sense of vulnerability multiplies to a panic. Some of us isolate ourselves, which only makes the situation worse.  Others feel an intense need to be around someone who loves them and cares.  This feels like a protection against what might harm them and helps them feel not quite so alone.  

1. I always side on connection being the best counter to anxiety.  Staying home, alone, stationary is the worst thing you can do.  Being around people, feeling connected to them and to the world around you, fortifies you with a sense of purpose and belonging.  This counters fear as it goes against what the trauma made you feel like: unworthy and useless.  ~ Jodi Lobozzo Aman, Heal Now and Forever Be In Peace  

2. Love instead of fearing. When you hold onto the past, it often has to do with fear: fear you messed up your chance at happiness, or fear you’ll never know such happiness again. Focus on what you love and you’ll create happiness instead of worrying about it.  ~ Lori Deschene, Tiny Buddha

3. The next time you feel yourself hesitating to go after your goals because you fear failing, ask yourself the following two questions: what can I do to increase my probabilities of succeeding? What can I do to lower the cost of failing? Once you’ve done what you can to increase your probability of succeeding and to lower the cost of failing, go for it.  It’s better to try and fail than it is to never try at all. ~ Marelisa, Abundance-blog.Marelisa-Online

4. At some point, we need to let go of our worries. We need to give our kids the gift of being responsible for themselves. In the end, this gift will lift the burden of responsibility off our shoulders. It will help our children to be more confident and responsible regarding their own life choices. Fear and worry can encompass our lives. It can stop us cold. No matter what our circumstances, we can live our best lives without fear dictating our every waking breath. ~ Cathy Taughinbaugh, Treatment Talk

5. I am lucky to not have much fear in my life. If I am fearful it's usually something financial or about my children.  When I feel fear, it causes me to have anxiety and I can feel it in my stomach.  I wake up in the middle of the night worrying.  The middle of the night is always a time when everything in life seems worse.  I try to relax, breathe and remind myself that everything is happening the way it's supposed to.  Everything happens for a reason.  This helps me tremendously!! ~ Betsy Henry, Zen Mama

6. Many people worry about the economy and believe they will either earn or lose money due to the economic situation at present. However, the economy is always moving up and down. So, it doesn’t matter what is happening out there or what others do to change the economy. No matter what is happening “out there” in the world, it only matters what you believe about yourself. ~ Louise Hay, Heal Your Life

7. Fear is a word that should be reserved for life-threatening situations. I would  like to replace the word fear, when it comes to personal development, in the word 'challenge.' Challenge is much more appropriate in the context of personal development as it represents exactly what we face: starting a new job, staring a business, beginning a relationship, going into new situations which are not life- threatening, rather they are challenges and they are only challenges as we have not done them before. ~ Steven Aitchison, Change Your Thoughts

8. But I still have fears myself. I still get apprehensive before getting up to talk to a group of people and I still get a tad nervous before doing interviews, especially TV and radio. The thing is however, even though I get nervous I still do it. Otherwise I’d feel like I was letting myself down and missing out on opportunities. And that is the key to not necessarily beating fear, because I think that’s impossible, but managing it and not allowing it to beat you. ~ Tim Brownson, A Daring Adventure

9. Some of my most potent opportunities have come from situations where I was challenged enough to have to do something. I was forced to face my fears and to change, which opened a door to an opportunity I’d never dreamed possible. My fear catapulted me to a whole new level of life experience as it urged me to open the door, look outside the box and come up with some alternatives that were new and exciting. Yet, if you stop struggling and calm down, the answer on how to stay afloat may just appear before you. 

It is harder for such an answer to come, if your mind is on “how not to drown” rather than “how do I survive?” You conquer the fear by framing your mind in the positive. Let go of the fear and tell yourself “I can and I shall." ~ Evelyn Lim, Abundance Tapestry

10. This year I'm making only one resolution: to let go of fear. There is so much I have wanted to do and not done. There is so much I have wanted to be and not become. This year I will do. This year I will be. Don't waste any more time with fear. Silence those voices telling you what you cannot be. As Liz Taylor said, "So much to do, so little done, such things to be…" ~ Dani, Positively Present

11. Life is about skydiving every single day. Taking good risks that make your heart race and set your mind on fire. It’s only when we define what truly scares us that we can make the most out of our fear, take the plunge and enjoy the heart-pounding ups and downs. Embrace those good fears and go make something happen. ~ Kristin Glenn and Shannon Whitehead, Revolution Apparel

12. The fear of rejection never goes away. You get used to it, learn to accept it, and manage it better. You just have to get the first one out of the way. I still feel anxious when I see a beautiful woman, but I don’t let it stop me from meeting her. Instead, I use those nerves to my advantage and keep the interaction fresh. ~ Thomas Edwards Jr. The Professional Wingman

13. Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here. ~ Marianne Williamson, Marianne

14. Fear has to be acknowledged. We have to realize our fear and reconcile ourselves with fear. We should look at how we move, how we talk, how we conduct ourselves, how we chew our nails, how we sometimes put our hands in our pockets uselessly. Then we will find something out about how fear is expressed in the form of restlessness.  ~ Chögyam Trungpa, Shambhala

15. I call it fear. And in doing so, I find it easier to stop running from it through busyness, self-cruelty and what I call shadow comforts (things we do that only pretend to nourish us like playing online solitaire, snacking mindlessly, shopping for things you don’t need-it’s not the thing itself you are doing but how it makes you feel). These make the fear stronger-and make me believe whatever story I’m telling myself, like “I can’t stand to feel this way,” or “disaster is just around the corner.” Naming my feeling as fear allowed me to realize it was a feeling, not a truth. Fear cannot define me or run my life. ~ Jennifer Louden, Jennifer Louden

16.  One of the challenges of moving through fear is identification. After awhile you identify with the problem for so long that you don't know who you are without it. So now, instead of trying to navigate through try to imagine who you would be without the problem and be that. Allow a loving world that is beyond this fear to fill your mind and heart. Imagine being free and then be it. This is the bridge home. ~ Derek O'Neil Life Changing Healing Center

17. Life is a lot more beautiful and vivid if it is determined by love and not by fear. I’m sure you can imagine that someone determined completely by love would be a kind of saint. In contrast, most of us ordinary human beings are determined by both forces, love and fear. However, in my experience, even a tiny shift towards love-and away from fear-can bring a lot more happiness. ~ Mary Jaksch, Goodlife Zen

18. I handle my fears by using the worst-case-scenario practice.  Our fears tend to paralyze us when we let them run circles in our heads with all kinds of “what-ifs.”  First, I sit down and write out all my fears which helps to shine a light on them.  Some of them disappear at this step as my objective mind immediately sees how silly the fear is.  For the ones that remain, I ask myself, “What if that really happened?” 

I write out the thing I fear as if I’m experiencing it.  I don’t catch myself or try to save myself from the situation.  Instead, I make it all as bad as it can possibly get.  That way I flush out all the fears that could arise later.  Once I see myself at absolute rock bottom, I create a way out.  I write out everything I would do to turn everything around. By living out the fears and knowing that I’m bigger than they are, they tend to disappear.  I feel much calmer after this process. ~ Paige Burkes, Simple Mindfulness

19. I believe in accepting fear, not in resisting it. So I confided my doubts to teammates, peers, funders and mentors. Many of them related to my story – I was excited to learn how many entrepreneurs felt the same way. We weren't burned out or giving up. Our passions had simply changed and we had to give ourselves permission to accept that. ~ Melissa Richer,  Melissa Richer

20. Fear lies. It just makes stuff up. The thing is, whatever fear is saying to you it will seem true. It will seem true that you aren't ready to give the presentation. To put up the art show. To launch the jewelry line. The best we can do is remember: "The things fear and my inner critic say are false" and to discern: could this just be fear talking? ~ Tara Mohr, Tara Mohr

21. Some of my most potent opportunities have come from situations where I was challenged enough to have to do something. I was forced to face my fears and to change, which opened a door to an opportunity I’d never dreamed possible. My fear catapulted me to a whole new level of life experience as it urged me to open the door, look outside the box and come up with some alternatives that were new and exciting. ~ Jeff Nickles, My Super Charged Life

22. Joyfear. It turns out that the birth of each of my kids was filled with Joyfear. And it turns out every single defining moment in my life has been filled with Joyfear, with a mixture of intense joy and intense fear into one ball of powerful emotions that both lift me up and make me see things clearly when I hadn’t before. ~ Leo Babauta, Zen Habits

23. I overcome fear by asking myself, "what’s the worst that could happen." In my mind I go through the various scenarios and invariably I discover that it’s not as bad as I might have imagined to start with! I also look back at those times in my life when I experienced such fear and then look at what actually happened. It’s never, ever turned out as bad as I feared. I now identify the actual fear.

Sometimes it’s no more than fear of the unknown and getting out of my comfort zone. Other times, it may even be fear of failure – or most interestingly, fear of success. Indeed, I now use such fear of failure as a challenge to actually get out of my comfort zone and push myself that much harder. It’s simple – think big, be bold and make it happen! ~ Arvind Devalia, Make It Happen

24. I used to think we should aim to crush our fears and eradicate them for good. I was determined that was the way to deal with fear or the thoughts of fear that plague our lives in the most frustrating ways. If we can crush the fear, we should be ready to move on. We can just step over it, as we would over a rock or a branch, on our way to our destination. 

Then I learned that fears never really take leave; they are a part of who we are, no matter how brave or courageous we become in life. Instead of the severe approach of crushing a fear, now I feel that the best way to manage those fears is just that: manage them. They will never completely go away and yet we can learn to manage them, to quiet them so that they don't get in our way, and to put them in the background. When we do this, we live fearlessly in the presence of fear. ~ Farnoosh Brock, Prolific Living

25. The key, for me, is not to learn how to get rid of fear, but to work with it and maybe even use it. I understand that every time I do something new, I'm going to be afraid. That's just a fact. But I don't have to let it stop me. I'm just wigging out because I'm out of my comfort zone. But that fear is only present the very first time I do something. After that, my comfort level rises sharply. 

The more often we show ourselves that we can overcome fear (because usually the fear itself is scarier than what we're actually afraid of), it gets easier to do so again and again. I do my best to relax, but in the end, the thing that helps me the most is knowing that the fear is temporary and that once I've gotten through it one time, I'll have a cool new activity to enjoy. ~ Melody Fletcher, Deliberate Receiving
                                                                                  
26. What to do with fear? Be willing to accept it. Be willing to feel it and ultimately to forgive it as you stay true to the beautiful Love of your own true character. Fear is transformed when you and I let this mysterious, supposedly hostile entity be blessed and set free in our Love.  ~ Christopher Foster, The Happy Seeker 

27. The truth is, your Ego is just another voice inside your head. You need to view it as a trusted advisor who wants you to think about the risks involved before you do anything unconventional. It's prudent to listen to that voice, but you're by no means obligated to obey it. In fact, challenging it on a regular basis is probably one of the best things you can do. ~ Jen Gresham, Everyday Bright 

28. (Bonus) When I was younger, fear would hit like a blow to the stomach. My mind raced with dozens of fearful scenarios that only increased my anxiety. What changed how I handled my fears was attending the Science of Mind church and studying affirmative prayer. I learned that “fear was the opposite of faith” and that by releasing my fears to the power in the Universe that is greater than I am, I no longer have to worry and fret.  

All I have to do is let go of the fear and remain alert and open to the solution, which is sure to appear in a totally different way than I expect! Now I acknowledge my fears but allow them to pass right through me with trust and faith in a greater power that a solution will come at the right time. ~ Angela Artemis, Powered by Intuition 

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{ 45 comments… add one }

  • Galen Pearl March 28, 2012, 5:29 pm

    Another one of your posts I’m going to print out and keep in my file! Fear seems to be a topic of discussion in my life these days. At my monthly discussion group we were talking about Step 3–Give up the delusion of control. The urge to control is so connected to fear. This is a terrific collection of pearls of wisdom. Thank you!

    Reply
    • Tess March 29, 2012, 4:36 pm

      Galen,
      Yes control is a delusion. Sometimes I forget that. LOL

      Reply
  • Cathy | Treatment Talk March 28, 2012, 9:48 pm

    Hi Tess,

    I love this list of quotes!! Thank you so much for including me. What an empowering group! Being fearless give you the freedom to live your life, to enjoy, to have adventures. Thank you for being our fearless leader, and for sharing your amazing post.

    Reply
    • Tess March 29, 2012, 4:35 pm

      Cathy,
      You’re funny and You’re Welcome!

      Reply
  • Betsy at Zen Mama March 28, 2012, 10:00 pm

    Tess,
    I love reading what everyone had to say about fear. My first thought was how great to get so many thoughts in one place. My second was that we all have this common experience, fear. It’s a wonderful thought that we’re not alone and so many people feel the same emotion. Everyone had great ways of dealing with fear. So great to find it all in one place.
    Thanks for a great post!

    Reply
    • Tess March 29, 2012, 4:34 pm

      Betsy,
      Yes I agree it makes one see that fear is universal! And there are plenty of ways to get through it.

      Reply
  • Paige | simple mindfulness March 28, 2012, 10:38 pm

    If someone can’t find a way to handle their fears after all this amazing advice, there’s no hope for them. You pulled together some of the best! Thanks for including me! You’re definitely the leader in the fearless movement, Tess!

    Reply
    • Tess March 29, 2012, 4:34 pm

      Paige,
      Your welcome. I appreciate you support!

      Reply
  • Lisa Frederiksen - BreakingTheCycles.com March 29, 2012, 8:12 am

    What a marvelous list!! It’s so empowering to read how others handle fear and to read they have fears similar to mine at times but have moved through them or found a way to take a stand to face their fears. Thanks for sharing!!

    Reply
    • Tess March 29, 2012, 4:33 pm

      Lisa,
      It was for me as well. It makes one feel less anxious and more normal;)

      Reply
  • Kat March 29, 2012, 5:38 pm

    This is such a fabulous, insightful post. Thanks for sharing and sincere thanks to all the writers who shared their perspectives.

    Fear can be so very debilitating, but pushing through that fear and getting to the other side is incredibly liberating. And the more you do it, the more the fear diminishes. Here’s to living fearlessly!

    Reply
    • Tess April 1, 2012, 7:17 pm

      Kat,
      I totally agree with you and I’m happy to join you in living fearlessly!

      Reply
  • Bobbi Emel March 30, 2012, 2:06 pm

    Great list, Tess! I really like Leo’s word: joyfear. I think that is something many of us experience often. I’ve been learning a lot about self-compassion recently and feeling both fear and joyfear is a great time to remember to be kind to oneself rather than judgmental and harsh.

    Reply
    • Tess April 1, 2012, 7:18 pm

      Hi Bobbi,
      Yes don’t you just love that word??? Yes we all need to remember to have self-compassion. The more the better!

      Reply
  • Karyn18 March 30, 2012, 7:55 pm

    These quotes just blew me away. It’s like an alarm clock that woke me up from a bad dream. Well, fear are just illusions made by our minds.

    Reply
    • Tess April 1, 2012, 7:18 pm

      Karyn,
      I’m glad I could help you out here. No more dreamin’ for us;) xo

      Reply
  • Ken Wert March 31, 2012, 1:14 am

    Great post, Tess!

    There are rational and irrational fears. I literally just found out today that one of my high school students is afraid of … butterflies. She told me she doesn’t fear spiders, just butterflies. People have irrational phobias far beyond any reasonable fear to some likely danger.

    But there is also a healthy dose of self-protecting fear. It’s a good thing my daughter fears walking alone at night in gang-infested neighborhoods. It keeps her safe.

    But then there are our internal fears that are not out-of-control irrational kinds of fears, but just large enough that we stay closed up and shut down and locked away in a life that is paralyzed into inaction. These are the dangerous fears for most of us because they keep us from living amazing lives.

    These tidbits of wisdom offer us some amazing insight into how we can rise above those self-limiting fears, transforming them into a motivation that changes us in profound ways.

    Reply
  • Elizabeth T. March 31, 2012, 7:36 am

    I developed a fear of dogs. Do you have any tips on how to overcome phobias? Those psychologically disturbing fears?

    -Elizabeth

    Reply
    • Tim Brownson April 3, 2012, 5:58 am

      Elizabeth, there is an NLP process called The Fast Phobia cure that has a very high success rate for those kind of fears. Google it and see if you find an NLP Master Practitioner in your area.

      Reply
  • Marelisa March 31, 2012, 10:50 am

    Hi Tess: Fear can be a great ally–warning us that danger is near so that we can act to protect ourselves. But it can also be our greatest enemy and turn our own imagination against us. I struggled with fear in the past, but by pushing myself forward, even when I’ve been afraid, I’ve gained confidence in the fact that I can handle whatever comes my way, and that has diminished my fear tremendously.

    I loved the quotes above, and thank you for including me.

    Reply
    • Tess April 1, 2012, 7:20 pm

      Marelisa,
      Yes we can handle anything that comes our way. We have thus far haven’t we. We only need remind ourselves of our own strength and move forward.

      Reply
  • David Moore April 1, 2012, 6:46 am

    Tess,
    What an awesome post. Creative idea and knockout info. I love this stuff because I always find new bloggers that I enjoy following. And who doesn’t need a dose of “fearlessness”?

    Reply
    • Tess April 1, 2012, 7:21 pm

      David,
      Glad you like it here. Come back often because we’re just getting warmed up;)

      Reply
  • Jazmine April 2, 2012, 4:42 am

    Looking to have dialogue with other bloggers for what works and what doesnt.If you want to earn money for your participation in forums, then mylot is really worth for trying. The minimum payout is 10$ through paypal. If the things you do are for earning extra bucks, then stick with webanswers and will get you some money into your adsense account.

    Reply
  • Maryden25 April 2, 2012, 7:17 am

    It is great to read the thoughts and insights of bloggers about how they feel and how they overcome fear.
    Thank you for sharing such interesting post.

    Reply
  • Sandra / Always Well Within April 2, 2012, 2:27 pm

    What a feast of inspiration and insight! This is a good year’s supply to keep us moving through fear toward love.

    Reply
  • Born25 April 2, 2012, 10:51 pm

    I don’t if the definition of fear and nervous are the same. Or maybe this two comes along together. I can feel nervousness easily rather than fear. Maybe I’m just skeptical to do anything which are not familiar with me.
    But anyways, i’m grateful to read all the contribution of the bloggers about fearless living.

    Reply
  • Tim Brownson April 3, 2012, 6:04 am

    Thanks a lot for including me Tess, much appreciated.

    Some cool stuff although I wonder at the Marianne Williamson quote simply because it’s wrong. Fear is hard wired into us at birth and whereas the only fears that are present at that stage are falling and loud noises, we have the structure to adopt others out of sheer survival instincts.

    I have to say I really like Farnoosh’s explanation.

    Reply
    • Farnoosh April 3, 2012, 9:36 am

      Thank you, Tim.

      Reply
      • Tim Brownson April 3, 2012, 10:37 am

        You’re welcome, I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye, but you nailed it on this one better than anybody (including me) imho and I love the sum up:

        ,i>”we live fearlessly in the presence of fear

        Because that’s all we can ever hope to do.

        You should expand it into a blog post, or maybe not even expand it because it works without any further explanation.

        Reply
        • Tim Brownson April 3, 2012, 10:47 am

          Tragic (mis)use of the HTML italic tag, but I think you know what I mean!

          Reply
  • Highland Fashionista April 3, 2012, 8:48 am

    This really struck a chord with me, as I grew up in the American midwest, where fear of stuff tends to permeate the conversation. I always remember as a kid and a teen voicing my desire to do something, go somewhere, etc, and being met with a laundry-list of reasons why it was dangerous/not feasible/a bad idea. Thankfully I grew out of that in a hurry. Thanks for the great post.

    Reply
  • Darris April 3, 2012, 10:03 pm

    I’m with Paige Burkes . . . my favorite question is, “what’s the worst that can happen?” Marianne Williamson hit the nail on the head with, “Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.”

    Fear still grips me at times but I have a husband much like yours . . . he tells me, ” We’ll handle this one step at a time, we’ll get through it . . .” and so far we have : )

    So many great suggestions/stories! Thanks so much!

    Reply
  • Lizzie Larock April 3, 2012, 10:07 pm

    I love that adage, “don’t fear death, fear only the half lived life. ” words to live and die by. I’m interested in the whole human experience and the fear at the top of a roller coaster is pretty damn exhilarating.

    Reply
  • Debora April 3, 2012, 10:38 pm

    I just found this site and am loving it! I often turn to my Bible when afraid. The Psalmist said “What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.” Believing that God (or your higher power) is ever-present is a powerful ally against fear. I recently read a great old book by Dale Carnegie entitled “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.” It was filled with practical advice about dealing with fear, much the same as what I’ve read here. A common thread that ran through the book…and runs through my life experience is, that very little that we fear actually happens.

    Reply
  • Hope April 4, 2012, 7:12 am

    Tess, I am delighted I found your blog through Zen Habits. I’m wrestling with myself now, trying to break into publishing finally, after 25 years of writing and sort of trying. I’ve realized I need a mentor, and I have so much fear about finding one.

    I’ve been blogging about success, trying to figure out what it means to me, and trying to become one.

    Reply
  • Andrea Ballard April 4, 2012, 7:15 am

    I am so good at telling my daughter to feel her fear, and do things anyway, and yet I forget to tell myself! Thanks for the reminder.

    Reply
  • Ollie B April 4, 2012, 8:53 am

    at 57 I realize that I have lived my life living in fear — I am encouraging my daughters and to read your books and also this blog; you have given us an impetus to change our thoughts regarding fear. Thank you.

    Reply
  • roch April 4, 2012, 3:59 pm

    I stumbled across this blog while just surfing the Internet. Where have you been all my life. Great information

    Reply
  • Lee April 4, 2012, 5:07 pm

    I just came across this blog and feel I have found a home! Love this post. I’ve been participating in a course about realizing one big dream and we discussed fear. I never thought of myself as a fearful person until I made the connection between what I called “my reserved, quiet personality” and fear of rejection or looking foolish or even stumbling publicly and not meeting up to those around me. It has changed the way I address everything I do now because now that I am aware I demand myself to be bolder and step out of that shadow. I will keep this list as a good reminder.

    Reply
  • Chris Barba April 4, 2012, 7:27 pm

    Talk about a lot of amazing information in one spot.

    Great idea here and way to make it come to life Tess!

    I literally got something from each an every post. It really helped to solidify my thoughts on the idea of fear. Instead of being scared and turned off by its inevitable presence, I see fear as a sign that I am getting somewhere.

    If I haven’t felt scared in a while then I have probably been hovering around status quo.

    Feel the fear and do it anyway!

    Loved this post Tess.

    Reply
  • Imogen April 6, 2012, 6:54 am

    Just found this site great information here. I find it so easy to slip into a fearful life, and I’m very grateful for any pointers for staying (or achieving) fearlessness.

    Reply
  • Stephen S. Mack April 9, 2012, 10:04 am

    A quote from one of my favorite authors on not isolating yourself.

    When you are idle, be not solitary.
    When you are solitary, be not idle.

    …Samuel Johnson

    With best regards,

    Stephen

    Reply
  • Rad April 9, 2012, 8:05 pm

    In response to #3: I think for most people, surprisingly, its fear of success that holds people back from their goals.

    Reply
  • Best Nose Hair Trimmer April 11, 2012, 5:29 pm

    You have a great list on your blog. And what else can I say than to salute your effort for bringing this to the readership of people.

    Reply

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Your Fearless Life: Making It Happen
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Welcome! I'm Tess Marshall and I’m Passionate about supporting people who want to lead a fearless and bold life.
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