5 Ways Fear Can Mess Up Your Blog and Your Life

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Do you find yourself thinking, "If I could have a best selling book, a hot product, a household name or my dream job I'll always be happy?"

Most of us know happiness is an inside job and requires living one day at a time. Yet how many of us actually live what we know?

When it comes to my blog I often find myself wishing I had more…more readers, more links, more status, more connections…more, more, more! I can get so caught up in it.

I want to eventually generate income with my blog and in order to succeed I do need more links, connections, status, etc. I also need to live and breathe social media and SEO. The list is endless…

The problem is when I have 10,000 readers I'll want 20,000. As I network and make important connections I'll continue to want and need more. As I learn more technology there will always be the need to know more.

Not all bloggers want all of these things all the time, yet the vast majority of bloggers dream about increasing their popularity, connections, statistics and income, daily.

And no matter how much we achieve we will still want more!

Just when I seem to reach one goal my ego moves the line and tempts me with competition and comparison. My ego seduces me into the desire to be acknowledged, be liked–setting me apart in some way so I appear unique or special. Isn't this what we also believe it takes to succeed online?

When fear and doubt creep it's easy to get lost in the need to do, be and have more. And when I do I lose living in the precious present.

I don't want a life of hoping and striving, obsessed with competition, comparison, tomorrow and yesterday all the while missing "now."

I want to live in joy and wonder.

That's why when daughter no. 4 called inviting us to meet her in San Diego to watch her and her boyfriend run a marathon I said, "Yes!"

That's why when daughter no.2 called and asked me to come to Michigan to stay with my grandson for a couple of days while she traveled I said, "Yes."

That's why I continued on to our cottage in Northern Michigan for a few days of "alone time." 

That's why I also took time to visit daughter no.1 and my aging mother before returning home.

And that's why my Alexa ratings are in a downward spiral. And that's why my ego is out in full force whispering, "You're going to fail."

Our blogging desires are insatiable.

There fore I set priorities. I can be happy with what I have and set and accomplish goals.

I won't give up family time, friends or healthy habits. I won't give up wonder and joy and I won't give up happiness today for success tomorrow. It's a personal choice.  

What is the value of a grandchild's giggle, watching the sunset, a morning run, a partner's presence, an act of kindness? I value these things because they persistently give my life meaning. 

Once we get this it's easier to take control over our lives.

Taking Control

As I continue to pursue success in the blogging world I we can commit to not losing my ability to deeply enjoy small, ordinary pleasures.

I can deeply appreciate my ordinary existence. I can stay present with feelings of anxiety and stress as they arise. I can breathe through them. 

Awareness

Become aware of how many times in one day you wish for a better and bigger blog and all that goes with it?

Now estimate how many times a day you say to yourself,"My life is great just the way it is today!" 

My ego seduces me, promising me "my day will come." 

My day won't come. Today is "my day." In this moment life is good. In this moment I am at peace. In this moment I have all that I need.

I fill my days with gratitude, awareness and compassion. As I continue to pursue my goals I remind myself in this moment all is well.

The following are 5 ways fear steals your joy and what action you can take in order to enjoy life and the blogging process.

1. You obsess about the competition. Instead of focusing on your most important tasks you worry about what others are doing, who has a higher Google ranking, new product or better affiliates. You feel overwhelmed and anxious.

Take Action: Accept your precious life as it is today both on and off line. When you know more you'll grow more. List your most important task today. Finish it and move on to the next. It's that simple. 

Focus on the present moment. You'll always have easy days and days of struggle. Find meaning in both.

2. Your content Lacks pizzazz. Fear blocks creativity and lack of creativity equals boring content. 

Take Action: Get away from your computer and visit the zoo, museum, or attend a sporting event. Pay attention to the people, colors and nature. Eat different foods, listen to a variety of music. You'll feel refreshed and your writing will be juicier.

3. You Doubt Yourself. You fear your on the wrong track. You compare your writing to others and see yourself  as "the loser."

Take Action: You can choose to recreate yourself daily. Focus on small successes. Learn to trust the process of life. Create affirmations and use them when doubt creeps in.

Thomas Holdcroft said, "Life is a grindstone. Whether it grinds us down or polishes us up depends on us." 

4. You're unmotivated and stuck. There are ups and downs in blogging. There are times writing feels like a chore.

Take Action:

Tell on yourself. Use examples and stories from your personal experiences. Get support by reaching out to other bloggers. Create a plan for your blog and stick with it. Hire a coach. 

5. You want to give up and quit. You feel it's too hard, you're burned out and out of good ideas. 

Take Action:

Check in with yourself and acknowledge how you feel emotionally, and physically. Decide what you need to feel better.

Take a creative writing class. Invite a friend to be a guest blogger. Go to the library and look at magazines. Notice hot trends. How can you use them to make your blog sparkle?

Have compassion for yourself. Honor each stage of your blogging journey. Reach out and connect with our blogging community. Create joint ventures, brainstorm ideas and take well needed and deserving breaks.

My ego wants me to spend my days striving for more prosperity, admiration and love. I refuse to postpone enjoying my ordinary life until my blog is top ranked,I am more successful and secure, or more admired and loved.

It's impossible to live in the precious present if I don't have enough today. It's impossible to be content with what I have if I feel I am in a competition and constantly compare myself to other bloggers. Stress and anxiety are toxic to my mind, body and soul. 

Today is my day. 

I won't miss a precious moment.

"The roses under my window make no reference to former roses or better ones; they are what they are,they exist with God today. There is not time to them. There is simply the rose; it is perfect in every moment of it's existence." R.W.Emerson                                                                         

Links to Bloggers I Love and Respect

Karl from Work Happy Now writes about How to Discover Your Career Bliss

Evita from Evolving Beings 7 Things I Wish I Had Known Earlier In My Life

Lance from Feel Good Jungle on Don't Give Up

Stacey from Stacey Shipman 5 Ways to Feel Good About the Food You Eat

Katie from The Levity Project Smile: A Micromovent

Steve Aitchison's got a new product Alter Your Jacket

Henrik from the Positivity Blog: The Power of Positivity

How do you balance living for today and planning for tomorrow?

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • me June 15, 2010, 10:16 am

    proofread for “your” vs “you’re”

  • Davina June 15, 2010, 10:57 am

    Hi Tess.
    What I love about taking action is it moves you out of the ego standstill. Yes, one action might be a mistake, but it’s one less action to take and the wiggly path gets straighter. “Seduce” is a great word to use to describe what the ego does. Forgetting everything we’ve already accomplished and talking our past wins with a grain of salt keep our tank empty, too. So important to appreciate what is already here… all 50 blog readers as opposed to the 5,000. I hear you! 🙂
    .-= Davina´s last post…This is How You Don’t Skip Rocks =-.

  • Lori June 15, 2010, 11:08 am

    Hi Tess,
    Lovely post — again.
    I’ve found myself thinking these things often. Especially, what would happen if I *did* have 20,000 readers as opposed to 200? I enjoy interacting in the comments, and there’s no way I could possible answer all the comments, so I always go back to enjoying what I have as opposed to wishing to be “famous” or a big-time blogger.
    Congrats to your daughter and mate for the R&R Marathon in San Diego, too. Your life sounds so lovely, don’t change a thing, Tess.
    🙂
    .-= Lori´s last post…Nearing Half Way =-.

  • Julie June 15, 2010, 12:29 pm

    Dear Tess,

    There’s one line that just leapt off the page: “I refuse to postpone enjoying my ordinary life…” Such passionately wise words! …and I’m so grateful to hear them again. I think there can be no overstating it!

    Just this morning, a friend asked my advice about a major life decision, which set me to thinking about the larger picture of life choices in general. I concluded: “The only thing that matters in life is that I am with you and that you are happy.” My friend’s choice involved a love relationship, so that’s why that spin on the words, but in the case of blogging, we could make this substitute: “…that I am with my life and my life is happy.”]

    Tess, I’m so happy that you put your love of doing and being with family ahead of the blogging world. One is a wonderful add-on to life, but the other IS life. 😉
    .-= Julie´s last post…The Only Thing That Matters =-.

  • Tess June 15, 2010, 2:00 pm

    @Me Thanks for your advice. One minute after I read it my hubs called and informed me I needed to correct my errors as well. I appreciate both of you looking after me;)

    @Lori, I appreciate your honesty and sharing with me. Yes my life is lovely and even lovelier with you in it. Thanks girlfriend!

    @Julie, You are so kind and thank You for sharing your wisdom with ME! I love your last sentence. It says it all and affirms I’m on the correct path. xo

  • Lance June 15, 2010, 2:38 pm

    Tess,
    I love the Emerson quote you closed with. So fitting to the message you’ve shared. We have NOW. That’s my take away on this. How are we using this NOW that we have?

    And here’s the other thing: I read here today, and am once again touched by your words. And that right there is a pretty sweet thing… It may not mean more links, or a higher Alexa rating, or whatever – it’s only a feeling I’m left with. And still…that in itself is something deeply good that you have given this world, Tess….

    It’s good to be here today…
    .-= Lance´s last post…Enlightenment of the Soul =-.

  • Roger June 15, 2010, 3:07 pm

    I hate the “your” vs “you’re” grammar mishap! Your post was very well delivered and I believe that you’re doing a fabulous job. And it is good to be here, at this very precious moment in time.
    .-= Roger´s last post…Solar Power In Abu Dhabi =-.

  • Jannie Funster June 15, 2010, 5:20 pm

    Dear Sweet Tess, one thing I notice is when I compare myself to no other blogger and put up posts that are fun and creative for me, my Alexa rank seems to jump a little lower — I swear to God! But when I’ve let myself get anxious and fearful, the opposite has been true.

    To what do I owe all that? Energy! Letting wonderful energy flow.

    I have NO DOUBT the Bold Life blog will continue to rise in popularity, status and rank, because it’s from YOU — a never-ending pool of ideas, fun, positive things, creativity, optimism, goodness, light and luck.

    And you know… the harder we work, the luckier we get. Not my quote, but true.

    You are one of the msot amazing people I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing. We’ll grow our blogs together, and in the best way — via love and light.

    xoxo
    .-= Jannie Funster´s last post…Funny Typos, 17 (the caption cook edition) =-.

  • Wilma Ham June 15, 2010, 5:51 pm

    Oh Tess, it is incredible how we can fool ourselves by letting the ego based thoughts have their merry ways. I too have all those feelings you describe and I love your honest sharing. Pave the way for honest looking at our lives and what we miss when we keep pretending we have free will but let the statistics determine our schedule. Who am I fooling here.?
    Yesterday I had enough and went spinning and walking instead, I agree it felt good to ‘take’ that freedom. Now I no longer have a boss as I am self employed I have to watch that my own ego is not bossing me around.
    Let us become the free of slavery and enjoy life, lead the way, Tess. Love Wilma
    .-= Wilma Ham´s last post…We are looking for our new home the WomenLikeMe way. =-.

  • Joy June 15, 2010, 8:01 pm

    Tess,
    I love you through and through…
    Your blog is not about Ego..your blog is about embracing life to the fullest, *living* versus merely existing, finding the joy in all, experiencing rather than just reading about or observing…it’s what you write, but it’s also how you *live*…that is why I keep coming back…
    Your ‘success’ is in your smile, your essence as we all know you would “be there” if any of us asked in any way you could. Your success is in the joy of everyone you inspire and encourage. Your success is not measured with stats (well, it may be) your success is measured in hearts you have touched, lives you have changed, people you have impacted..
    I *wish* I had a mom whom I could call and would come visit, or a grandmother for my children as enthusiastic as you are about each and every step your grandchildren take..you are giving your family the ultimate most precious gift…as you give to all of us…Love.. pure and true…
    I read your book, and it changed my life. I commented on your blog and it changed my entire blogging experience. I asked you to visit, and look at the amazing direction you have guided me to…pure contentment in embracing exactly who I am.
    You are perfectly made–absolutely enough for this very moment, with abundance that is immeasurable, and Love that is golden….You *rock* 🙂
    .-= Joy´s last post…Monday Blessing: Abundant Love… =-.

  • Sandra Lee June 15, 2010, 9:05 pm

    Hello Tess, This is my first visit to your lovely blog. I’m so happy you have such a good perspective on your ambitious and aren’t willing to give up all that you cherish in this moment. Thank you for steering us all clear of being consumed by endless ambition. Even if we only have a positive impact on one person, that’s a tremendous achievement in my book!
    .-= Sandra Lee´s last post…1 in 5 highly sensitive =-.

  • Tony Single June 16, 2010, 5:02 am

    Wha-? You mean I’M the one who has to change MY mind and do something about MY reality all by MYSELF?! NO! Reality can and MUST conform to MY very will and to MY every whim, SO THERE! HMPH!

    Okay, that’s enough with the capitals; they’re starting to grate. 😛

    I agree with you though. Unbridled ambition can kill everything good about your life if you give in to it. This is a lesson that we can all learn and relearn, I think. 🙂

  • Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord June 16, 2010, 5:03 am

    Tess!

    YES!!! That’s what I was saying to myself as I read your words, and the comments people shared were equally as impressive. (And your response to “Me” moved me… Deeply. You’re love embodied, dear Tess. That comment was a test for me, and when I saw how you handled it, I learned what I most needed with regard to that moment.)

    Ego is such a tricky little entity, and as you so wonderfully said, just when we accomplish one thing ego said it wanted, ego moves the line a little bit so we have to go get MORE.

    My truth is that there is no better moment than the one I’m in right now… Exactly as it is. My heart sure knows that, but my head needs reminding.

    And as Joy said, your success is in your smile. And as Lance said, it’s in the way you touch people through the things you do. Your posts are successful simply because they make a difference in ONE person’s life. ONE person is as important as 1,000, or 1,000,000…if only because in each person is THE WHOLE.

    Huge hug, and much love to you, my shining, successful friend!

  • Lavonne June 16, 2010, 5:37 am

    Tess,

    Good for you for recognizing your choices, and choosing the actions that are most sustaining to your soul.

    Lovely post, as usual!
    .-= Lavonne´s last post…Making Your Heart Sing =-.

  • Phil - Less Ordinary Llving June 16, 2010, 6:09 am

    Tess –

    Brilliant post and one that resonates with me (and probably most bloggers).

    I’ve started to look at life in sustainable terms. Rather than defining what I grasp for and will never reach (as you said we always want more), I’m trying to find what is enough. It is really changing my whole approach to life – taking away the fear of scarcity and failure – and creating more gratitude for everything that I do have. On a bigger scale, I think that this is an important change for humanity too – it will teach us to use resources more sustainably, enjoy what we have and hopefully save ourselves and our planet.

    I loved your guide, think your blog is wonderful and don’t give a stuff about your Alexa ranking! Go Tess!

    Phil
    .-= Phil – Less Ordinary Llving´s last post…Be a Black-Belt Motivational Master =-.

  • Amit Sodha - The Power Of Choice June 16, 2010, 7:48 am

    Superbly written post Tess and I whole heartedly understand where you’re coming from and it’s refreshing to read an article that challenges my own insecurities and feelings.

    This is where I think even people like you and I and all the other coaches and PD freaks lack some understanding.

    There is a space between the power of now and the power of goals which are two areas of needs for human beings. We do have a need in order to bake the cake of fulfilment. You can always be in the now but eventually you’ll wonder about the future and you can live in the future and miss out on the now but they are both facets of human experience.

    The way I see it, both are needed and both are equally important.
    .-= Amit Sodha – The Power Of Choice´s last post…Video – How To Solve Any Puzzle In Life =-.

  • Jeanne Demers June 16, 2010, 9:18 am

    Ditto all of the above. Love this post, and YOU dear Tess for saying what’s true… for so many of us. Thanks!

  • Peggy June 16, 2010, 9:59 am

    Dear Tess,

    I needed to read this today. In a big way. I’ve been chewing and gnawing and wrestling with my ego (it’s also be slightly upended on WomenLikeMe!) For example, after $4,000 spent, 2.5 years of my time, I am finally as certified as certified can get to teach yoga. My ego tells me “open a studio,” “do this,” “do that,” “you can’t possibly justify teaching in your basement for mere pennies and karma donations…”

    Oh horse hooey.

    I will not allow fear and my ego to intrude – I will not start something half-a$$ed only to fall on my face – just because my fear is yelling at me. An old fear from a former life. When I graduated from college in the winter of 1992, unemployment was surging higher, we were in a recession, and the area I was living in was starving for jobs. My first husband bereted me for not being able to find a job as soon as I graduated. I felt like a colossal failure.

    Blogging – sure, it would be grand to monetize, land a killer book deal and sign away the movie rights. But like you, I will not sacrifice today, the now, for something that may or may not happen. Honestly, I think the worst thing that happened to me recently was me stumbling upon how I could figure out my radio show ranking in my category on Blog Talk ~ bummer ~ because now I feel like every show I do needs to be in the top ten ~ my sneaky ego slides in and whispers “where are you ranked today?”

    Once I find that on/off switch, I’m switching my ego off permanently 🙂

    Love,
    Peggy
    .-= Peggy´s last post…Do You Have Stress? =-.

  • Evita June 16, 2010, 11:26 am

    Hi Tess

    You have written here about what so many of us were thinking, are thinking and will be thinking.

    At the end of it all, I am so, so happy to hear that you will not compromise those things in life, that make up the precious moments around us.

    Yeah, those thoughts can creep in. How do I deal with them. First and foremost, not check too many stats. I check Alexa probably twice a year (by that time I don’t remember what it was the other time, so it is all good 😉 and Google Analytics, maybe once a week or less. I don’t analyze them in too much depth either.

    Is this a good business way to go? Of course not. But as much as I care about the sites I am building, I also will not sacrifice the now, and get caught up in competition and greed and fear. No way. Most of us have been down that road, never to go back again.

    Your awesome-ness shines so brightly!
    .-= Evita´s last post…7 Things I Wish I Had Known Earlier In My Life =-.

  • Chris Edgar June 16, 2010, 11:31 am

    Hi Tess — I found my shoulders relaxing as I read this, and I imagine a similar experience may have happened for you when you admitted all those ways you wanted to do better and look good — I find for myself that just admitting, once in a while, all the ways that I’m not okay with this moment and my life right now can release so much tension I’ve been carrying around.

  • Patricia June 16, 2010, 12:02 pm

    Today is MY DAY….no better words and that Emerson fellow truly had something to say.

    I just took a weekend off to go to a college graduation – out of house experience…those roses look rosier already …and I got to hear a fabulous and inspiring speaker.

    Today is My DAY…..
    request Tess: could I be on your blogging buddies list? I know my ranking must be somewhere on another planet, but that would be so lovely to be on someone’s list….I guess I have a want 🙂
    .-= Patricia´s last post…WISE WORDS =-.

  • The Exception June 16, 2010, 12:20 pm

    I like to think that success is living life as it unfolds – it isn’t about numbers or anything like that. And if we are doing what we love… the rest comes if that is the way it is to be. Granted, I am not in the fortunate 500, but I am rich all the same. My daughter and I read a book called The Table Where Rich People Sit… The ego wants to be bigger and better and has to prove itself worthy or unworthy depending on what is on its mind… the heart wants to flourish in the moment. The beauty – we get to choose how we spend our day. And I do enjoy the moments I spend here reading your words.

    Thank you Tess

  • Tess The Bold Life June 16, 2010, 1:32 pm

    @Lance, As long as I leave my readers with a good feeling that’s what counts. Because people want to feel good naturally and I can help with that! Thanks for stopping by, you’re an important part of the community.

    @Roger, thanks for your support I aprreciate it more than you know! I’m humbled and happy;)

    @Jannie, You’re the best! I appreciate your laughter and ability to take me higher with you. I know you’re correct. I’ve been caught between stuck and fun. All in all a good place to be, eh?

    @Wilma,
    You are such a lovely friend…we do have our blatant honesty in common don’t we? It’s the only way to live…honest and free and I’m happy we’re in this together! Spinning? You’re out there ahead of me Wilma. That’s hard and I don’t like pain!

    @Joy the next time you visit bring the tissues;) I appreciate your appreciation of me. And you inspire me in the same way. If you spot it you got it. I’m happy we both do. I had so much fun with little Henri we picked strawberries at a farm and he was squealing with joy over the fat plump juicy ones. A time that will linger forever. I appreciate you, friend.

    @Sandra Lee I don’t always have such a healthy out look and that’s why I choose to write about it. I feel so much better because I did and I knew others could relate. The insanity stops when we stop it;)

    @ Tony, I love your humor. LOL And yes on the ambition and stealing our precious life that we’re meant to sooo enjoy. Thanks Tony!

    @Megan, You bring so much joy to my life and I appreciate your love for me and send it back at you filled with some of Joy’s butterflies, glitter and all good stuff.

    @Lavonne, Thank you it’s not always an easy choice but it’s always the best choice for me anyway!

    @Phil thanks for your wonderful thoughts and words. They are filled with wisdom and make so much sense. I can’t think of a better way to get rid of fear and failure.

    @Peggy, I can relate to so much of what you write. Your ego’s verbage is hilarious “pennies and good karma.” So laugh with me! And I got my master’s degree and it took me years to get paid what I was worth. But oh the people I met and loved and those I helped think I’m a miracle worker. It was them who did the work I just guided them. Our ego’s would love to discount all that. I think you’re doing fantastic and like me to heck with the stats. They’re not ruining our day.

    @Evita 3 words…I love you!

    @Chris I love walking the same path you do! Yeah for us. Relax is the plan.

    @TE I love how you say our heart flouishes;) It makes mine swell with happiness and joy. Thanks for telling me about that and the book. I appreciate you.

    @Patricia Yes yes on the list! Rock on. I love graduation speakers as well. They talk to us like we’re young people. We can catch and ride the wave;)
    @Evita,
    @Admit Such wisdom in your comment and I so appreciate it being shared on my blog. I love the way you express yourself and it fits my life as well. Thanks very much;)

    @Jeanne, Your very welcome and I’m coming to check out your blog. Thanks for the visit and I hope we get to know each other better in our blogging life time.

  • Mark June 16, 2010, 1:32 pm

    This is such a great post! I love the grindstone quote, how very true! Today is our day! There is no other time, there is no better time, there is only now!
    It is easy to be seduced by our ego. The key as you stated is awareness, we must always stop and ask what is my motivation and what is my intent and it is in this answer that we will become aware if ego or love is driving our train.
    .-= Mark´s last post…Being A Father =-.

  • Marko -- Calm Growth June 16, 2010, 5:52 pm

    Good points.

    I’m glad you decided to dedicate your time to the family despite the Alexa Rank.

    No one wants to say in a few years , “well, now I have 3000000 rss subscribers, I am earning $ 200,000,000 a day. Now I can call my family and friends …. Where is everybody? I can not believe what I missed…”

    There are some moments, some events and some people who are magical and irreplaceable. Of course, sometimes we should devote time to self.

    I think that we can find methods to achieve online success with better use of time, then with ineffective hard work with little results.

    Finally, to conclude. A great guide to happier life, great for bloggers and to all others…

  • Simon Hay June 16, 2010, 6:03 pm

    Hi Tess. At times I feel sorry for ego. I think being passionate about something is also ego driven, or being in love. I’m not sure it’s absent from any emotion or action. I think balance is important, but one ambiton – to be an active family member, is no less a priority than the other – to run a successful blog. All your points are great, but the most enjoyable part for me is to find you on the page, a glimpse of how you think and feel, a global neighbour, a little less mysterious for sharing. Bless you, Simon.

  • Sandra Hendricks June 16, 2010, 6:25 pm

    Thank you Tess! When I began blogging, I did not understand that “if you get no comments you are simply talking to yourself.” One day while reading on how to have a popular blog, I read that information. The way I felt reading those words is difficult to describe. I kept “writing to myself anyway.” I am still getting just a handful of comments, but the ones, I do get, add value to my blog and my life. The spectacular people I have met since I started blogging matters more than any comments or popularity. I enjoy my website and blog. Comparatively, my blog is small time, but I refuse to measure my success by another. I admire the many comments you get, your dedication and hard work show.

  • Keith June 16, 2010, 7:07 pm

    Hello Tess,

    Once again I come to your blog, read your words and am floored. Why? Well, for many reasons. One reason is you never cease to amaze me with your keen and timely insight. What I read here HELPS me Tess, and what is the value of that? Since I first began blogging a year and a half ago, I have met many bloggers and I know I was blessed when I met you.

    I believe my heart was pure in its desire to help people, which is one of the reasons I started blogging to begin with, yet I was not equipped with many of the things I needed to effectively accomplish this task. Meeting you, being exposed to your thoughts, advice and genuine kindness has help to euip me to fulfill my life’s purpose. I cannot thank you enough.

    I am so happy you have the outlook you that you do. If you were to forsake the precious present and trade it for the sole desire to gain from all you do, I believe your blog would suffer. Nothing wrong with gain, I want to gain to, but because you are not driven by greed, selfishness and are driven by lovingkindness, your blog is awesome and truly helps others. I think this is what will bring the other things you desire. The things you do and the way you experience life is what makes you who you are and is what makes your writing relevant and so good.

    Thanks for this post Tess, it really resonates with where my heart is right now and with the new blog I am creating. 🙂
    .-= Keith´s last post…Pessimist or Passionate? =-.

  • Hilary June 16, 2010, 11:40 pm

    Hi Tess .. how very sensible .. family is so important, and being as you are – as you can be at this time. We just get stressed if we do too much and certainly if we’re hankering after ratings etc

    I love your blog and you have that pizzazz in your posts .. that I love to read. Reminding me to be bold.

    I too have wanted to do more .. but I also wanted to make sure that two elderly had/have good ends to their lives – and that to me has been such a valuable experience. I’ve concentrated on the blog and will pick up the social media side in due course .. and have ‘worked out’ in my head some places to go with my blog .. as time frees up .. now my mother is hearing again .. I’m not sure when that will be – but she’s the most important thing for me … as well as me taking care of myself.

    Life is going on & as you say we must make the most of what we can .. and your family is the most important .. your grandson will love these days with you and the tmes you can spend ..

    Wonderful .. enjoy the travel .. and family .. warm sunny enveloping days to you all .. Hilary
    .-= Hilary´s last post…Ever Thought of a Map as an Encyclopedia? =-.

  • Kristie Ryan June 17, 2010, 7:48 pm

    Hi Tess,

    What a great post and what a great time it came to me. I feel this way very often, the whole “my blog needs to be better” and “I need to do so much more work on my blog”. I have to say though that to get where I’d like to be, I do. It gets overwhelming at times though because I have a full life. I have a full life and sometimes it’s hard to even get one blog post in each week. One post! I get distracted with other things and sometimes outright refuse to spend anymore time on the computer when I get home from work.

    I hope you can tell your ego that you are changing lives. Reading your blog posts changes the way I live my days and makes me think about how I’m living my life more. Your posts make me stop in the middle of the crazy weeks I have and give me a jolt of energy.

    I can say that I balance between the wanting to do SO much work on my blog and the living in the present by trying as much as possible to slow down my days. I make sure to read every single day and I try to do some kind of physical activity for myself. I really spend a lot of time trying to enjoy everyday, but I know that my blog lacks a lot because of it. I guess that is life! And I really like the concept that today is “my day” not sometime in the future.

    Thanks again Tess!
    Kristie

  • Karl Staib - Work Happy Now June 18, 2010, 8:25 am

    I’ve felt all of these fears. I think every blogger has. We have to take action on these fears otherwise they will grow into a beast we can’t control.
    .-= Karl Staib – Work Happy Now´s last post…I Don’t Try to Motivate Myself =-.

  • Uzma June 19, 2010, 1:05 pm

    Hi. Thank u for this post. I learned from it, especially the take action bits. Thanks . Looking forward to reading more
    .-= Uzma´s last post…14 lessons I wish I had known earlier in my life. =-.

  • Leisa Watkins June 20, 2010, 10:53 am

    Thanks. Sometime ago I took quite a long break from blogging. I do love to blog, but my life had become out of balance. For me, getting it back on the path to correct balance required that I change my focus for a time.

    It was a well thought out decision that brought up a lot of fear that my blog would not recover from such a long break. Yes my Alexa ranking dropped but it is now recovering. But, more importantly, I found that my joy in life increased. My ability to help others increased. I found that my break gave me just what I needed to become a better blogger.

    So sometimes we have to feel the fear and do what we think is truly right for us anyway just as you did.
    .-= Leisa Watkins´s last post…Are Your Dreams Guiding You To The Wrong Shore Line? =-.

  • Farouk June 21, 2010, 12:58 am

    absolutely right tess , fear can let the person live below his potential for the rest of his life until he decides to stand up and to face his fears, thank u 🙂
    .-= Farouk´s last post…Response cached until Tue 22 @ 8:49 GMT (Refreshes in 23.87 Hours) =-.

  • Susan Liddy June 22, 2010, 3:51 pm

    Easy to fall into the trap that “more” will make us happy.
    I know first hand that cycle of wanting more, getting more and then wanting more all over again. Spent a lot of years caught up in that and it got me no where, least of all… happy.

    As a fempreneur running two businesses, I find myself seduced by the “more” trap every so often. When I have “more”, I won’t have to work so hard I’ll tell myself. When I have “more”, I’ll be able to extend my reach I’ll tell myself. When I have “more”, things will come easier I’ll tell myself.

    Yet, I know better… the “trick” is to be happy with what I have… feel proud about what I’ve accomplished… and embrace that I already have MORE… more than I need. I simply need to embrace it.

    -S
    .-= Susan Liddy´s last post…7 Reasons Why Exercise is Good for You! =-.

  • Joyce of I TAKE OFF THE MASK Blog June 24, 2010, 2:24 am

    Very well said, Tess! If we never pause right now and enjoy what we have, we’ll always be looking for what we do not have and never enjoy our blessings today. Enjoy and be blessed! 😉
    .-= Joyce of I TAKE OFF THE MASK Blog´s last post…That None May Be Judged By The Color Of One’s Skin =-.

  • maura July 23, 2011, 7:23 pm

    love this! im am going trough a tough time trying to figure my life out as a young adult. you writing really spoke to me. It is clear that you truly do practice what you preach. your writing is so honest. thanks for the words of wisdom

  • Gary Johnson July 29, 2011, 1:56 pm

    After all, most of us are blogging as a business because we enjoy the freedom to participate in our lives and family events when they occur! Thanks for a wonderful post!

    BTW – it says below you need to update your CommentLuv!

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