Comments on: Bold Compassion for The Unemployed

By: Shamed

Shamed — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 07:59:01 +0000

“Again, if you are unemployed you aren’t to blame, it’s not your fault, and you are not a failure.”

So when exactly does someone become a failure? If not the moment when one’s job is lost, then is it at the moment when one becomes a burden on others? Or when one ceases to live up to one’s potential?

The statement above reminds me of a mother telling her child “the other kids just make fun of you because they’re jealous.” It’s feel-good nonsense.

You got laid off because you someone deemed you unnecessary. Or you got fired because you screwed up. It doesn’t always mean you were wrong, but it does mean you failed to convince the boss of your necessity.

Figure out how to make yourself necessary. Fix the problem. Learn from what went wrong, and make sure it doesn’t happen again. That’s the only solution.

By: Carla

Carla — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 01:00:53 +0000

I've known a few people who have lost their jobs recently and fortunately they have done well financially so they are not really feeling the financial sting. With that said, it’s still painful. I lost my job after the dot com bubble busted, after 911, and two other times in the past ten years and know the pain, shame and anxiety well. This is a great post. Carla’s last blog post..Blogroll - 1/29/2009

By: Tess

Tess — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 00:35:18 +0000

I know this is a blessing in disguise. There are so many opportunities to grow in a crisis.

I belive more people will see the light because it will be to painful to continue living in the dark.

By: Broderick Allen

Broderick Allen — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 18:57:30 +0000

"we live in a culture where who we are and what we do is the source of our identity and income" That's powerful. Often people define themselves by how much money they make or social status. This could be a blessing in disguise. Something as seemingly traumatic as losing a job has the potential to make people realize they are so much more than how much they have in the bank. Broderick Allen’s last blog post..Life is Short?

By: Tess

Tess — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 14:33:46 +0000

Daphne,

I think in a difficult situation it’s important to everything one has learned to stay positive and hopeful. I like you’re 50 lb. analogy.
That’s powerful.

Sarah,
It reminds me of a line in an old song “I get along with a little help from my friends!”

Jannie,
I hear you on the illusion. What’s amazing is you can see that while you’re in a tight spot. Such wisdom.

Weakonomist,
We’re all entitled to our own opinions. You have the right to be different and think different than me. Thanks for stopping by and sharing yours. Oh and thanks for the compliment!

By: the weakonomist

the weakonomist — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 12:03:46 +0000

I take issue with greed being a reason for layoffs. As a capitalist, profit is a big deal to me. But I've watched people around me get laid off, and I've talked to the people that must make these decisions. There is nothing more painful for a company than having to let someone go that they know is a fantastic asset to the company. Even the greediest of greed hungry corporate types feel don't want to lay off people. They are forced to because it is the only way to keep the company alive. As someone who may get laid off this year, I really did love this post though. Keep them coming. the weakonomist’s last blog post..Qvisory - What is 2009 Going to Look Like?

By: Jannie Funster

Jannie Funster — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 05:50:41 +0000

My husband is self-employed, so no job loss but we have certainly been going through tighter times. I used to feel a bit of shame for not having money, but I don't now because I've come to feel money is not and will never be WHO I am. It's just an illusion really. Jannie Funster’s last blog post..Twinkle Shooters

By: Sara at On Simplicity

Sara at On Simplicity — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 05:23:15 +0000

Being unemployed absolutely is not a failure. I've been there, as has pretty much everyone I know. I do think it's important for folks to take responsibility for what happens next, though. Deal with the shock, the consequences, and possibly the shame, but then it's important to let that go and be proactive. Of course, as you mention, having supportive folks around who don't judge can make all the difference in that somewhat painful transition. Sara at On Simplicity’s last blog post..My Dirty Blogging Secret

By: Daphne

Daphne — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 00:36:00 +0000

Hi Tess,

This post struck a deep chord because I know people who have been retrenched. As you pointed out, they just don’t feel like meeting anyone because then they’d have to talk about something that they are ashamed of. It’s very sad.

I was actually dating someone last year who then got retrenched. He just didn’t want to see me anymore and explained it wasn’t my fault. The equivalent is if I’d put on 50 pounds overnight – I wouldn’t want to meet anyone in that state either until I got it resolved. So the poem is true about ‘lovers now not speaking’.

It’s a hard, hard situation. Thanks for the reminder to reach out to those who really need compassion right now.

Daphne’s last blog post..Becoming A Person of Value